Sorry to ask, but NEED to.

I am 59 years old.  I know that I am not the only one that has thought "I never thought that I would be in this position".  I have worked extremely hard my entire life.  I have been 100% self supporting since I was 15 years old.  I ran away at 15.  The household that I grew up in was absolutely horrible.  If it were today instead of the 50's & 60's, it would have been all over the news and in the papers.  However, back then people did not talk about such things.  They just looked the other way and figured it would all go away.  I was sexually molested by my Father for as far back as I can remember.  Both parents were mentally and psychologically sick.  The things that went on in that house were just unreal.  I have no problem telling about them, but I do not want people to think that I am trying to get sympathy.  That is not it at all.  In spite of all that went on and running away at 15, I did continue school and graduated High School.  I worked 2-3 jobs at all times and did whatever I needed to do to survive, without having to use the streets as a form of financial stability.  I worked and saved and worked and saved and at the age of 22, one of my jobs was managing a music store (records & tapes back then). After being there a couple of years, a person came in and asked me if I would like to become a partner and open up our own music store since I had all the contacts and experience at that time.  They had neither, just money.  Since they had more of that than I, they wanted the partnership to be 60-40, me being the 40.  As I was talking this over with a friend that was an attorney, I remember as if it were yesterday when she said, "If you can do it for somebody else for 40%, THEN you can do it for yourself at 100%".  I never forgot that.  Plus at that age of 24, you do not think of the posibility of failing.  So, that is what I did.  I opened my own store and it was open in the same location, but doubled the size from the first days, for a total of 33 years.  I still can not believe it when I think about it.  Being open 33 years!  I saw my first customers have kids and some of them have had kids.  I was on the third generation of customers.  I LOVED what I did.  I would still be doing it if circumstances had not changed life for me.  I just never thought that I would not be in that store.  Well, I was thrown the perverbial curve ball.  During those 33 years, I just worked and worked.  In the first 3 years, I even worked 3 other jobs as to not take any money out of the store for myself.  I was a security guard in a senior living place on the midnight to 6am shift.  I also worked for the City of West Palm Beach Florida, at the city owned auditorium.  I worked in the box office. I also worked at another entertainment auditorium also in the box office.  I had gotten a very good reputation for honesty, handling money, balancing all the time and always having a great work ethic.  So once a year I worked the spring training concessions for the Atlanta Braves.  I handled ALL the money from all the concession stands, t-shirt sales etc.  I had ten's of thousands of dollars passing through my hands on a daily basis and always balanced to the penny.  I did that for about 8 years until the Braves no longer did their spring training in West Palm.  I did SunFest, which is the world known Jazz, Art & Craft Music Festival.  I did the same things.  Ticket sales and concessions.  I did that for 5 years.  I had to give up all those extra jobs, because my business was really taking off and I needed to be there 100%.  I really loved what I did and was proud of myself for the great reputation that I had for acuracy and honesty in dealing with all that money.  I was still asked for years to still do things like that, because my reputation for handling money was well known.  It was now that I had another project that was going to take my extra time.  I had no contact with my Father except two times since I ran away from home.  Once, very early on, thinking that maybe I could have a normal relationship with him.  NO, he still wanted the same things.  So I decided at that point not to have anything to do with him.  It was a little difficult because my Grandparents that were around, were His Mother and Father.  I never wanted to hurt them, so I just kept my mouth shut and would only be around when he was not.  Then my Grandfather died and that just left my Grandmother.  She just would not let it go, she wanted the 3 of us to be able to get along.  Since she was old and that is what she wanted, I went ahead and met up with my Father one evening to see if we could just work this out.  He was so sick!  He would not STOP!  He just wanted one thing.  Finally towards the end of that meeting I just could not take it any longer and I was getting very brave and decided to just ask my Father WHY was this having to happen?  I will never forget his answer.  I was in such a state after hearing him say, "Because I think of you more as a Lover than  Daughter".  I was SICK!  I swore that I would NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN.  No matter what.  That was the way it was, until my Grandmother called me one day to tell me that my Father was dying of cancer.  That was in July and he was dead in November.  Now my Grandmother was the only living relative left.  It was just Her and I.  I had not Aunts, Uncles, Nephews, Neices etc.  Both of my parents were only children.  So I did what I had to do.  I had the responsibility of taking care of my Grandmother.  I was all that she had.  I had no idea that she would last 18 years after my Father died.  My Grandmother lived til 101.  However during those 18 years that I took care of her, was the beginning of my problems.  My Grandmother had me promise that I would not put her in a nursing home.  She wanted to live in her own house.  I promised.  It was just I had no idea when I promised that it would go on for 18 years.  There should have been money to take care of her.  I knew that my Grandfather had left her well off, or so I thought.  After my Father died, my Grandmother and I went to the banks to take my Fathers name off of everything and put on mine.  EVERYTHING?  There wasn't anything!  Even the safety deposit box, that had a lot of gold coins and was suppose to have 4 gold bullion bars in there, was EMPTY!  I remember my Grandfather telling me years ago, that if it ever came down to me having to take care of things, that there were 4 gold bars along with a lot of $50 gold coins in the safety deposit box.  That was there to take care of my Grandmother in the style that she had been use to.  To not have her rely on anyone else for her care.  Even if there was another depression and the cash money that she had was not good, that gold would take care of her no matter what.  She would not become a burdon to anyone. Now this is when my whole life changes.  Her money and gold was gone.  My Father has stolen everything except the very little money that he spent a month on her keep. No pass to 18 years later.  The economy has gone to hell, I have had my Grandmother to financially take care of, including her condo that was 30 years old and needed things done.  I had myself to take care of.  The music business has started the drastic change from downloading, AMAZON, etc.  Also at that time my health was beginning to do some strange things.  Plus I had an employee that had been with me for over 15 years.  I trusted her with everything.  I ended up at about year 12 of her employment, to put her name on the checking account of the business, just in case anything happened to me, she could keep the store running and pay for merchandise, rent, electric etc. During the last year of my Grandmothers life, my life was extremely difficult.  I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis and severe bond degeneration disease.  I had already had my knees replaced at 39 years old, my neck fused, my lower back fused and my left ankle had just broken when I got up one morning and just stood up and got out of bed.  SNAP!  My ankle broke.  During all of this I am still running my business.  Just when I thought that things could not get any worse.  My 15 year trustworthy employee had just not shown up for work.  Never in all the 15 years of her employment had she done that.  I called and called and could not get a hold of her.  I found out that she had moved to Georgia and I also found $10,000 gone from my business account.  There was a check missing further down in the check book and not until did checks start bouncing about 2 weeks later, did I find out why.  She had taken that check and a second one and totally the $10,000 was gone.  I tried to have her arrested.  I spoke to the police, lawyers and anyone else that would listen.  However, since I put her name on the account and it didn't require two signatures or any stipulation on at a certain large amount, the back should check with me.  I had absolutely no recourse what so ever to do anything to her.  So now the economy had just gone to rock bottom, my Grandmother was costing a lot of money, her apartments was costing money, my health was costing money, because my health insurance was cancelled.  It was raised in 2 years from $406 a month to over $1600 a month.  I couldn't afford to pay it and I couldn't afford not to have it.  The lack of finances won out.  Also my rent at the store had gone up.  My 10 years lease was expiring and the building had been sold and the new landlord raised my rent to $9876.15 a month from $7204.02. During this time I had been in a 18 year relationship.  I use to have my own apartment and I had it rented from the day we moved in together for 10 years.  Then the person that had been there all those years was leaving.  I really didn't want to be a landlord and the area where this was located was changing and becoming not so safe.  So I sold it.  Now 18 years later, when I use to see women on talk shows saying that they had no idea that their partner or husband was cheating, I use to say they had to be so stupid not to know.  Well never throw stones.  I was home one day after work and I heard the door, so I answered it and I was served with eviction papers.  EVICTION PAPERS!  I thought that they certainly had the wrong person.  It turns out that they didn't.  Since my name was not on the house after all these years even though I had paid for half of everything, plus did the painting inside and out, plus bought a new tractor to maintain the 8 acres.  Now I am being treated like a renter that had not paid their rent.  I was so shocked.  I had 30 days to get out.  I do not think that I will ever get over that.  I had to leave with nothing but my clothes.  Since my name was not on the house, then nothing inside of it was mine either.  I checked with lawyers and found out that I did not have a leg to stand on.  Now if it were today, instead of 8 years ago, then maybe I could have gotten somewhere.  So I left with only my clothes.  This now comes after everything with my Grandmother, the economy, the loss of the $10,000 and my health.  I had nowhere to go. So I lived in my office at the back of my store.  Now at this same time, my doctor that has seen me for over 10 years and has seen my health decline has told me to start making plans to get rid of my store, because the day will come in a few years that I will not be able to handle it any longer.  I would not listen.  I just started working harder than ever.  I had it in my mind that "you can't hit a moving target" and as long as I kept moving, then nothing would stop me.  Well it didn't work.  Two years had passed and my health had just kept getting worse and worse.  I was having a very hard time walking and other things.  Well now we are up to the current situation. I ended up having to close down my store.  It just tore me apart.  It was 33 years of my life.  I have not known anything else.  It was my only identity.  Without my store, I was nobody.  I sold off what I could, but really when people know that you are closing down, they turn into vultures and I was lucky if I got 10 cents on the dollar.  I did end up keep all the Cd's, DVD's and vinyl and figured that I could sell that online.  Which is what I have been doing.  I ended up getting on Disability,but I only get $900 a month.  I could not afford to get a place to live and a place to put all the inventory.  So I ended up getting a warehouse that had a small office with it inside.  I have been living in this warehouse for a year now.  I can't afford to go anywhere.  I am in dire need of an electric wheel chair or an upgraded electric scooter.  I can not take more than 1 or 2 steps any longer.  The pain is absolutely incredible.  I take Morphine, Percocet along with 8 other medications.  I just can't take it.  The only way to really get out of pain is to go to sleep.  Even that the most I can do is about 2 hours.  I have absolutely nobody to turn to.  I ended up closing myself off 100% after the eviction situation.  I just put myself into work.  There are no relatives, no nothing.  Even when I was in the hospital about 2 weeks ago, they ask who to call in a case of emergency.  I have absolutely NO ONE to call.  I really have nobody to blame but myself.  However that really doesn't help right now.  I can't work.  I have never had to ask for anything in my life.  I have taken care of everything.  I have fought to survive.  I have now lost everything.  I am broke.  I do not eat, because there is not enough money.  The electricity may be turned off this week if I can't come up with $300.  It is a 2 month bill and now they will shut it off.  I have cut every expense that I can possibly cut.  The next stop is going to be a cardboard box under the interstate. I am not even joking.  I am doing everything that I can under the circumstances. I need surgery very badly, but as long as I am living in this warehouse I can't do it.  I can not come back here to live.  Right now they thing that they are going to have to remove my legs.  Definitely the left one, if not both.  This disease is turning my lower legs and feet into stone.  It is like petrified wood.  It is tightening up so much, that the bones in my toes are just crumbling.  It looks like they are amputated, but they are not.  It is just the skin is tightening up so much along with the bone degeneration, that they just disappear.  I need help.  I even hate to type those words.  This has just been a very short story of what has happened to me.  Believe it or not there has been so much more, but I just can't go on. I need help to financially get a place of my own.  Plus I need money for the wheelchair/scooter and the ramp for my car.  I have to rely on myself.  I just can't seem to find an out.  I never thought I would be in this position at my age.  I worked so hard and really saved for my future, but circumstances changed things drastically for me. Help, PLEASE.  I need someone out there to see that I am not a bad person.  I have no other way anymore.  If I had somewhere to live and not have to worry, at least I still could continue to sell my inventory to make a little money.  I also could have the surgery that I so desperately need.  I would have someplace to go to, not a warehouse.  Then if I have a place, I could have nursing help after surgery.  Please is there any way that someone could help?  I just do not know what else I can do.  If you have any questions or need to check anything out, just ask.  I will give you my doctors names or anything else that you want to check on.  I have lived in this area my whole life.  I was born in Fort Lauderdale and I now live in West Palm Beach.  So I am not a person that just asks for things and then just ups and moves away.  My parents kept telling me that I was a loser and I fought all my life to prove differently, but now I am beginning to believe that they are right.  No place to live, no money, no friends, no nothing.  I look back and remember everything that I fought for and how much I had accomplished and then to just lose it all.  I only tried to do the right thing.  I took care of my Grandmother and she never knew how bad it really was for me.  She lived out her live in her way.  She never had to leave her house, until I found her on the floor.with a stroke.  I did the best that I could.  Is there someone out there that understands and could help?  Anything would help and maybe with a few people and the help added together, I can do what is needed.  Please help me.  Thank you for reading this.  I am sorry that it is so long, but I just didn't want to ask for something without explaining why I had to ask and not work it out for myself.  Thank you again for getting through this. Again if you have any questions, just ask me.