Sonjin bluz – za medicinsku tranziciju/Sonja’s blues – for medical transition

//English below//

Ćao!

Najprije ti se želim zahvaliti što si izdvojila_o vremena da pročitaš ovo, kao i za svaku eventualnu pomoć!

Moje ime je Sonja. Ja sam trans žena koja pokušava „izaći iz ormara“ i živjeti svoj život autentično nakon toliko godina skrivanja. Trenutno živim i volontiram u Autonomnom kulturnom centru u Zagrebu koji koristi prostore skvoritrane zgrade u centru Zagreba. U ovom prostoru također stvaram, performiram i sviram raw punky muziku, uglavnom na hrvatskom jeziku :-) Također sam uključena u lokalni aktivizam za ljudska prava i pišem SF knjigu koja će biti objavljena iduće godine. Također radim kao dostavljačica hrane na biciklu.

Nakon 6 godina pokušavanja, napokon sam dobila hormonalnu terapiju u veljači ove godine, samo mjesec dana nakon mog 30. rođendana. Svejedno me većinu ljudi u mom životu i okruženju ne percipira kao mene i tako je otkako se sjećam svog života. Zbog toga se skrivam u „muškoj odjeći“ opet, kao i mnogih mojih dana, što mi izaziva različite oblike anksioznosti i ostale prateće probleme. Imam tešku rodnu i genitalnu disforiju, najviše zbog toga što je ona stvar među mojim nogama pogrešna. Znam to otkad sam imala 4 godine. Ne postoje kirurzi u Hrvatskoj koji su specijalizirani za vaginoplastiku za trans žene tako da je nemoguće obaviti operaciju u Zagrebu, a Hrvatski zavod za zdravstveno osiguranje ne pokriva troškove obavljanja ova operacije u nekoj drugoj državi u kojoj postoje specijalizirani kirurzi. Najbliža država u kojoj bih mogla obaviti vaginoplastiku je Srbija, a operacija košta 10.000,00 eura. Dakle, moja država me, kao i mnoge druge, prisiljava da tražim medicinsku skrb u nekoj drugoj državi i da pokrijem troškove sama. Moje životne okolnosti me, kao i mnoge druge, prisiljavaju da tražim pomoć za pokrivanje troška poboljšanja mog života kroz obavljanje ove operacije. Zato koristim ovu platformu da dođem do što većeg broja ljudi koji su u mogućnosti i voljni pomoći mi. Svjesna sam da nisam jedina (zamisli da u pozadini čuješ kako svira "I'm not the only one" iz "Rape Me" od Nirvane) i da mnogi moji prijatelji i prijateljice imaju iste probleme, i zato se nadam da će ih ova akcija inspirirati da se bore za sebe i druge da im pomognu.

Neizmjerno sam zahvalna za svaku donaciju jer me svaka od njih dovodi bliže samoj sebi. Hvala!

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Hey, You!

First of all, thank you so much in advance for taking your time to read this and for any eventual help!

My name is Sonja. I am a trans woman trying to “get out of the closet” and live my life authentically after so many years of hiding. I currently live and volunteer at Autonomous Cultural Center which uses the space of a squatted building in the center of Zagreb, Croatia. This is also the space in which I create, perform and play some raw punky music, mostly in Croatian language :-) I am also involved in local activism for human rights and writing an SF novel that will be published next year. I also work for a food delivery company where I deliver food on a bicycle through Zagreb.

After 6 years of trying to get hormonal therapy, I finally got it in February this year, only one month after my 30th birthday. Still, most people in my life and in my surroundings don’t perceive me as who I am, and it has been like that ever since I can remember my life. So, I’m hiding myself in “boys’ clothes” again, just like most of my days, which brings anxieties and self-destructing problems to this girl too. I am suffering from heavy gender & genital dysphoria, mainly because that thing between my legs is wrong. I know that since I was four. There are no surgeons in Croatia specialized for vaginoplasty for trans women so it is impossible to have this surgery in Zagreb and Croatian Health Care Insurance Fund is not covering the costs of this surgery being performed in another county which has specialized surgeons. The nearest country where I could get vaginoplasty is Serbia and the cost of this surgery is 10.000,00 EUR. So, my country is forcing me, like many others, to search for medical care elsewhere and to cover the costs myself. My life circumstances are forcing me, like many others, to ask for help in covering the cost of improving my life through this surgery. This is why I am using this platform to reach out to people who might be able and are willing to help me. I am aware that I am not the only one (imagine Nirvana playing “Rape Me” in the background) and that many of my friends are having the same problems, which is why I also hope that this action will inspire them to fight for themselves and others to help them.

I am eternally grateful for every donation because each and every one of them is bringing me closer to myself. Thank you!