SHOES AND JEANS

HELLO,

IT IS 02:28 AM LOCAL TIME IN TIENEN ON 23 SEPTEMBER 2018. I CAN'T GET ANY REST IN MY HEAD. I AM FEELING EXHAUSTED FROM PAIN THAT I HAVE BEEN EXPERIENCING DAY AFTER DAY SINCE 2011. IT IS A DEPRESSION. WELL, MANY OF YOU WOULD SAY THAT THIS IS NOT SUCH A BIG TRAGEDY, PLENTY OF PEOPLE SUFFER FROM THIS DISEASE.

IT IS HARD TO LIVE WITH IT.THE THIRST FOR LIFE HAS DIED. HOW TO LIVE WITHOUT IT? NO, YOU CAN'T LIVE. I WISH I COULD HAVE A GUN AND SHOOT MYSELF! WAIT! WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT I CAN'T DO THAT. I AM A DAUGHTER, SISTER,GRANDCHILD I CAN NOT BE SELFISH AND JUST LEAVE THEM. THEY WILL FEEL GUILTY AND THEIR HEARTS GET BROKEN.

I AM AN ARTIST, BORN AND EDUCATED. THIS IS VERY STRANGE BUT I'VE BEEN STILL CREATING. AFTER TERRIBLE BURN OUT I HAVE STARTED MAKING ART. IT HAS BEEN 3 YEARS THAT I TRY IN VARIOUS WAY TO SELL SOMETHING. I AM ON ALMOST ALL SOCIAL NETWORKING SERVICES. THERE ARE PLENTY ONLINE GALLERIES WHERE MY WORK IS AVAILABLE TO BUY. 3 YEARS AND NOTHING. AM I BAD ARTIST BECAUSE I DON'T SELL, NO ONE WANTS MY WORK HANGING AT HOME? NO. I HAVE NO MONEY TO PROMOTE MYSELF. WHY DON’T YOU GO TO WORK? ANY KIND OF WORK. I WISH I COULD BUT THEY ARE FEW ISSUES THAT DON’T LET ME DO.

iSSUE #1 I AM VERY OVERWEIGHT, I HAD GAINED REALLY SERIOUS WEIGHT BECAUSE OF PILLS THAT SUPPOSE TO HELP ME. MY WEIGHT BEFORE I MADE A STEP IN PSYCHIATRY WAS 132 LB. WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW HOW MANY ? 264 LB. IT IS NOT HEALTHY BEING SO FAT.I CAN’T WALK I CAN’T DO SIMPLE THINGS WITHOUT HAVING PAIN IN THE BACK, KNEES AND SHORT BREATHING. STANDING 10 MINUTES IN THE SHOWER CAUSES SO MUCH PAIN. SO I AM A POOR, DEPRESSED FAT ARTIST.

ISSUE #2 WHEN I AM OUT. THERE ARE SO MANY EXTERNAL IMPULSES WHICH MAKE ME TIRED AND CAUSE IRRITATION EVEN PANIC. THERE IS TOO LOUD, TOO FAST, TOO BRIGHT, JUST CHAOS THAT I CAN NOT COMPREHEND IT

ISSUE #3I AVOID CONTACT WITH PEOPLE BECAUSE I AM HAVING OUTWORN SHOES, JEANS AND TOO SHORT T-SHIRTS. THEY ARE PRETTY, CONFIDENT THEY LAUGH AND I CAN’T

MY STORY HAS BECOME LONGER AND LONGER.I AM NOT SURE THAT I CAN CONVINCE ANYONE TO DONATE SINGLE DOLLAR.

WHEN I WAS 19 YEARS I COME TO BELGIUM WITH LOTS OF DREAMS. I AM BROKEN AND ENORMOUSLY DEPRESSED

I WISH SOMEONE COULD HELP ME: I NEED NEW SHOES, JEANS AND SOME T-SHIRTS AND MAYBE SHOES? AM I ASKING FOR TOO MUCH?

I WILL GET STRENGTH BUT NOW I AM SO WEAK. WOULD YOU LIKE TO HELPME,PLEASE

I ACCEPT PAYPAL FOR SAFETY

https://paypal.me/shoesandjeans