So I'm not really sure how to do/start this, so I'm just gonna type and see what happens.
Firstly, I wanna say that “coming out” felt easier than doing-writing this, as its natural to be myself, but asking for help is not part of my character….. So please bare with my rambling.
I have always thought that there is no need for a piece of paper that validates two people's love. For me true validation is standing by that persons side during their weakest moments and toughest of times, waking up next to that person and thinking about how lucky you are that they are in your life, appreciating their faults as well as their strengths, supporting each others growth and ideas (no matter how silly you think they are). You get it, and hopefully y’all have this as well.
With all that said, now we have reached a time where we need to get the legal validation and we can't obtain it in China, nor in Thailand. We see our future together, we see ourselves living , studying, and working abroad for a long time. Our future plans do have some restrictions, as she is Chinese and visas are becoming increasingly more difficult for them to acquire. So, this is the reason we need our marriage to be validated, so that we may continue on our path together. I haven't been back to the states in over a decade, and when I found out via the internet that the Supreme Court legalized same sex marriages, I knew this was our chance to make these dreams of ours a reality.
Vanessa and I met back in 2011 in Nanjing, and we've been together ever since. There is so much that I can say about her, but I think it's better that you know how she makes me feel. I am not a person who talks about my feelings((I believe actions speak louder than words)), nor am I a person that talks about my problems as I don't like to burden others. I just screw on a smile and focus on the tasks at hand, or focus on making everyone happy, and not focus on myself (yes, I know this is wrong to do).
With Vanessa I have no walls, nor filter, she accepts me and all my faults. She is the person who see’s me when I feel invisible to the world((which is more often than I would like to admit)). She sings these silly songs, or just gives me a look or a smile and I know that she is the person looking out for me. She proudly stands beside me , even when she is confronted with the rudeness and discontent that others throw my way, because of their own issues or insecurities. Ever since we have known each other, I have grown as a person, and I make it my daily goal to show her how much I appreciate her in my life.
Vanessa and I were officially engaged in January of this year (2016). I proposed at the White Temple in ChaingMai, had been planning this in my head forever. Got down on one knee, pretending to tie my shoe, and snuck the ring outta the tissue I hid it in and waited for her to turn around (she was taking a photo of the temple). She turned around, and I asked her to marry me, she said yes, I stood up, pulled the jagged pieces of rocks out of my knee, yes I was kneeling for a few minutes longer than expected, and then we kissed and “sealed the deal” as they say. When we arrived back at our hotel, she received a msg from her dad. She called him back and after a very long talk, she sat next to me and told me what happened. Her family lost everything due to some financial/legal issues. They needed help, and her family, including Vanessa were on Chinese lockdown, even though she was out of China. If she ever went back she would be seized at immigration and held. So, her family needed to pay off this massive debt, save their house and lift the legal lockdown (welcome to China). We had no choice, we sent them our savings, and have been. Finally they are clear of lockdown, still in debt, but their home is safe and Vanessa is able to go back and forth from China freely. This has left us with zero savings, everything that we have sold, made, and worked for went to help them and her piece of mind.
The reason I have started this “fundraiser” and let y’all know about our problem is because We can't do this alone, believe me I HAVE TRIED. ((My other idea was to rob a bank, however I want to spend the rest of my life showing Vanessa how much she means to me, not spending it behind bars.)) We don't feel entitled, and certainly don't think that the universe owes us anything ((Heck anyone who knows me knows that I'm the first one to reach for my wallet or lend a hand.)). I am asking for help to afford our plane tickets to the states,((as the price keeps rising)) so that we can legally get married. We have chosen to do it during the month of March ((her visa is valid until then)) in the states, as same-sex marriage is not recognized in China, nor Thailand. We can fly in, apply in person on a tourist visa in many cities, and afterwards just go to city hall, get married, and then wait about a week for our document, then fly back home and back to work. I know it's not the fairytale wedding that she deserves, but we know that this is just a formality, and later we can have the wedding of her dreams, for which you will all be receiving invites to ((Whenever that day comes, first things first)).
Thank y’all for reading through this, and again I am sorry if I was rambling, this is hard for me to do. We appreciate y’alls time, concerns, well wishes and donation, no matter how big or small every lil bit helps. We know times are tough and tight for everyone at the moment, and hopefully one day we will be able to return the favor and kindness that y’all have shown us.
Thank you again, sincerely!
I've sent msgs to many different airlines telling them our story and seeing if any could sponsor our flights. Unfortunately they have all replied back stating that they can't sponsor individuals, but they have congratulated us, and appreciate their kind words.