I have been ill for several years, since i was i my late 30's, now i am in my mid 40's and due to government benefit reforms i am in dire financial straits. My husband is amazing, an incredible man who has always worked so hard to provide for his family, due to ongoing health issues he has developed depression, utterly and desperately low and unable to shake him out of it.It is so lonely and sad without him and his support, so scared that i will lose him because he has lost himself. We are in debt, and while on occasion he has taken out loans he has never been in debt in order to live, eat and survive until this year. We have nobody we can borrow from, we don't have anything of significant value to sell, and because of my illness i cannot go out and do extra work, i so so so wish that i could, i'd happily clean from dusk till dawn to ease his worries,what he see's as his failure of his responsibilities, the feeling of inadequacy which has overtaken him, i miss him, his smile, his sense of humour, his presence, he is lost and i cannot see a way to help him find himself again. If i could pay off some of the debt, let him see that its not the end of the world, that we won't lose the house, just enough to give us a cushion, to lift the pressure, to ease the burden that he has placed on himself. A man who is incredibly kind, goes out of his way to do a good turn, who see's the good in people, who has grafted his guts out to provide for his family, who loves so openly and honestly. It is breaking my heart to write this, he has no idea that i have done this, i have no idea if it will help and the last thing i want to do is give him false hope, or worse still add to his feelings of inadequacy, if anything comes of it, then i shall tell him what i've done and why and hope that i can reach the man i love so very very much, and help bring him back to himself.