Save Roman: Trans Boy In an Abusive Situation

  Hello. I am Roman. A 26 year old FtM transgender, who is struggling to be able to afford the basic things needed for my transition and who has been living in an abusive household since I was a child. I have faced financial, physical, emotional/mental/verbal abuse almost daily since I was 7 years old. I am currently unable to work due to my current life situation as well as other medical/health issues, (severe anxiety, severe ADHD, PTSD from my life thusfar, Aspergers Syndrome, immune issues, etc {{there are more I’ve chosen not to list}}). I was also denied disability multiple times when I applied for it, though I am fighting that decision already, however there is no guarantee that I will ever get it, and also am unable to even afford healthcare without help, apart from medicaid which doesn't cover everything that I need in order to live a healthy life. This has left me with no current means of income. I manage to get by and keep my pets fed simply because I am living in my parents house, even though this living environment is highly unhealthy for me. My dysphoria has also been getting much worse by the week, as have my panic and anxiety attacks due to me feeling so uncomfortable in my physical body and the way others view me because of it. My hatred of my voice, and also myself because of it has also been slowly but steadily increasing, which is a terrible thing to me, since I never in my life thought I would ever be able to begin hating myself, however it is starting to become that way. I am even beginning to see more of why so many transgender people who are unable to make their transition end up committing suicide because they end up being so miserable they can’t see the point in living anymore. I myself have not reached the point of being suicidal however I would rather not ever even get to that point.  I have however caught myself wishing on several occasions that I WAS suicidal because maybe then, my parents and family would listen to me and take me seriously, rather than mocking me, bullying me, and undermining my identity at every turn.

  I cannot afford new clothes, even though I have literally about 4 shirts and like 3 pairs of pants that I am comfortable wearing. I am also in need of socks, winter gloves, a proper winter coat, and a new belt, none of which I can afford.  I live on a budget of about $20-30 a MONTH, to cover the cost of food for myself and my pets, and even that amount is unstable and unreliable, and at times I have to make that last for 2 or 3 months instead of one. Otherwise, I mostly live off of leftovers and scraps from my family, other than the times I’m actually able to get proper food, such as ordering pizza since pizza will actually last me several days or a week. My parents idea of enough food for me for the entire day is three small bites of food, while they have entire meals and platefuls of food, and they do not ever consider my needs, and have no care for my emotional or mental health whatsoever, and have proven it on multiple occasions.

 The goal I set is as high as it is to help me to get out of my parents house, since I am stuck here for the same reasons as being unable to get a job, and the emotional (and physical) environment here is extremely abusive and toxic, and has been slowly causing my physical health to decline as well. I have been hit before (across the face and other places), on several occasions,as well as insulted and abused verbally on a daily basis. I also often only eat once a day because of my family situation, and due to the amount of stress I am under causing me to be unable to keep food down a lot of the time. The abusive nature of my family is one that I have lived with since I was 7 years old, and despite pleas for help, no one chose to help me (not even Child Protective Services), and for many years, chose not to believe me when I tried to explain what was happening at home.  My family is also unsupporting of my being transgender on top of the already unhealthy environment here, and choose to try to undermine it and fight against it as much as possible. However I until RECENTLY I have had nowhere else to go, no friends I was able to stay with, and no other family that is supportive of me, so I was dealing with it as best I can.

  (Note: These photos are somewhat old however this shows the worst it has gotten here physically before, though currently it has gotten to be less as my mother has figured out that she can get in trouble for it and that I am willing to expose her if she continues, though it still happens from time to time. It has gotten much worse however, verbally and emotionally in place of that.)

NOW however, I finally have the opportunity and the chance to get out of here, and go live with my boyfriend and his family up in Canada, however that move will be expensive as far as taking my cats with me and getting settled in at first, as well as shipping what stuff that I can't take with me to where I will be living. I have a deadline for when I am leaving, as I only have a short window to get out of my house and away from my parents, and the deadline is the end of this month. I'd like to however have everything ready to go at least a few days before I leave. So the deadline is set for January 27th, which is one week before I leave and should be enough time to get my ticket (if I haven't by that point already) and leave. 

  I usually prefer to do things myself, as I have always tried to be very independent and self reliant so as not to bother others or be a burden, however some things I simply cannot do on my own. So this is why I am asking you all please, to help me with this, as I would like to avoid any further emotional damage to myself over this. Those of you who do choose to help, even $1 is a miracle to me, and know that to each and every one of you who give anything, I can never thank you enough and I will be forever grateful to you. You are making my dream come true, and saving me from all the emotional pain and stress, and quite possibly even saving my life.  

  And please please please. Even if you can’t donate at the moment, I am begging you to please signal boost/share this, because this is really not a small issue. I have been left with no other options which is why right now I am literally begging you guys for help. I have great faith in you, so please help me make at least part of my dream come true?