save my besties

Update posted by meghan schuler On Dec 30, 2011

This is a message between two friends myself and someone else conserning this site.  Maybe there's some confusing hopefully this will clear it up....

 

are you sure there aren't other ways, especially for your friend to get herself and her kid out of there? i'd hate to wait on money . . . that's important stuff to deal with in this moment, maybe a shelter in another town can come pick her up, maybe there's a church that'll help in a bigger town (or even there?) - -- you said that was a good place to look, and i've found i do get what i need when you ask good people. Churches seem to gather a lot of good people, you know. It's only one option. Maybe a shelter, aid worker of some sort. At some point the county will have to get involved, if not the state. If the reality is that bad, there should be help out there now. Have you had any luck? You know the area and all, and her.

    • are you able to leave to visit your friend? for a few weeks? after you get the first things straightened out - that is some serious shit, if you can excuse me, if the child porn thing is true

      if your mom can take care of things, it might not be two grand to get started up in illinois - isn't there anywhere with cheap rent and deposit? 450 even - making it one grand and don't take a lot of stuff - i don't know how jobs and bills work out for everyone, i'd assume your friend is working right now and all that, or has an income of sorts - - - she doesn't want to move to the southwest and you can stay close to your mom for a year or two? or however long it'll take her to get strong again

  • your other friend, once she's in a shelter, the state should help pay something in welfare, if necessary, help her get somewhere safe - at a minimum if she's just leaving straight up it shouldn't cost that much to take a bus or train with luggage - i've seen people move this way (bus especially - train has worse baggage limits, though let you take a huge bag per person)
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  • I say isolated for a reason. The town she's in is in the middle of the desert. It's about an hour away from anything else, possibly more, the closest shelter is in albequrque, and they are in a different country, so they cannot help. Trust me, I have tried every often, and either way they are only temperary bandaids, she would still feel isolated. There isn't one there for sure. And if she sets off any alarms now while she's still there, the abuse can increase. She needs to be safe before she makes legal awareness. Trust me on this spent my life in abusive situations. It gets much worst, and it can take states months to investigate a claim sometimes. They may arrest for a day, but once they release him she is screwed. It his mom's house and she has no family there's no shelter, you see where I'm going with this right? And that is the problem I can't leave to visit because I literally have negative money. I don't make ANYTHING. NO INCOME!!! I don't know why it's so hard for everyone to process that understanding but it seems to be, every keeps asking the same question. Seriously I don't have anything. In 2 days my checking account will be negative. And I for went getting my heart meds this month (as well as the other meds I need to live) because I can't afford it. I have no money. Okay no that everyone get's it. I'm not trying to be mean but people always assume everyone has like a stashed 50 bucks or some money flow, I got nothing food stamps is it. Anyway she is welsome here. She is moving here. In with us. We have the room. I just don't and no one else in my family does have the money to get her, and I agree it's serious shit that's why I sent the plea. I'm desprate. Trains and buses don't run to that town and still problem is money. I mean it would cost less to drive. trust me I checked. Oh and my other friend just is desperately alone. She's raising 3 kids with noone else to talk to other that her husband, but he works 80 hours a week. she has post pardom (or however you spell it) depression and she is really not doing well. She doesn't have a car and they live in a place in the middle of the mountains in wyoming, they don't have money her cell doesn't work very well bc of the mountains. So she feels so alone. that's why she feels the way she does, she's not leaving anyone. She just needs a cheering up until we move back to the quad cites. that's everything I think
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    Update posted by meghan schuler On Dec 30, 2011

    As this is not turning out the way I had prayed I started to get depressed, and instead of keeping it to myself I verbalized it.  You see I too am suicidle, probably more so than either of these two put together, I think they both probably know that too based on their behaboirs when I get depressed.  Instead of being eager to get out of her situation Charisma is pretending that she can bare to live in a house owned by the mother of her abuser, who does hold it over her, in the town of her abuser, who he holds that over her, in his control.  ABSOLUTELY NOT! I'm sorry I let myself get down.  I won't do it again, or at the very least won't let anyone know about it.  I don't care that I have a sprained ankle, and am 350lbs, I am walking door to door saturday and sunday as well as going to church and telling them the situation.  If that doesn't get enough money I may contact the news.  I promised to get her out.  I spent the better part of 25 years being raped and beaten and verbally and emotionally (which is the worst of all of them) abused I would rather die trying than allow her to stay there one more month.  NOT UNDER MY WATCH.  WHOSE WITH ME??  P.S.  Just to put this out there, it's easy to judge and say, 'well I'm not paying because if they are selfish enough to kill themselves, let them.' but let me remind you three things, one, there are 4 children here who would be destroyed if their mom's died.  Two, there are other people involved to consider, family, friends, it's the butterfly effect, you have no idea how many lives that person many touch.  Three, it's easy to not only judge and sit on a high horse, especially if you have never been there, but I will tell you this, there is nothing more soul suckingly depressing than feeling absolutely alone all the time. You can talk on the phone till you're blue in the face, and talk someone off the ledge most of the time too.  But when you hang up and a few hours later the loneliness seaps back in like acid it's only a matter of time before it gets to you especially if you live in an enviornment where you are not being validated by someone.  I.E. someone says you're not good enough all the time, you start believeing it.  So please donate, if you have a heart...

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