My name is Alex. I am gay from Russia. I belong to the LGBT community, until recently, everything was fine, but now I feel scared for my life. One gang of homophobes found out about my orientation and now bullying, threats have begun and they wanted to sexually abuse me.
Now they are disseminating this information throughout the city where I live, people who are negative, recognize me on the street, look at me with insult and do not consider me to be a person, they can shout provocative phrases or as if it were by chance hurt me. More recently, there was a situation about which I try not to recall, once I stood and waited for the green light to light at the traffic lights to cross the road and unexpectedly someone pushed me from the back to the carriageway, with the words you like when you are pushed from the back do you like, I just I was shocked, everything ended well, the car taxied, but I got up and ran from this place to the house without stopping, because there were few people and if the conflict started, no one would help me.
There are some people who support me, they write good words to me on social networks, basically they also belong to the LGBT community, but they cannot openly help me because they will have the same situation as mine. I am very grateful to them.
This information came to my work, colleagues also began to shun me, the only guy who later admitted to me that he was gay supports me, but my boss asked me to quit on my own, saying that my presence in the company would ruin their reputation.
Having received multiple death threats. I contacted the police, but they did not help me. I was told that I deserve this fate because I'm gay.
This is terrible….
But I don’t want to live like that, this is not life, I understand perfectly well that I will never have a family and open love in this country. Being gay in Russia is like being born doomed to never be happy.
In the school years, after one case of beating, a manifestation of aggression against me, I tried to suppress these feelings with all my might, I thought that this would pass, but nature could not be changed.
I even thought about suicide, because even my parents refused me when I came to them for help. They believe that I am sick and that I need to go to a psychiatric hospital to change my orientation, and I can not prove to them that this is not so, and I wonder if this should be done? I was born that way, so it should be so. I accept myself for who I am.
And I understand that in Russia it will not be better, because everything is forbidden here at the state level, and I understand that in the near future this society will not accept people with gay sexual orientation.
I changed my address, became more cautious, carefully thought over my travel routes, because this is not safe.
But I’m still scared to be under constant pressure. Therefore, I want to leave Russia and for this I am raising funds so that I can get a visa, I need to show that I have money in my account and the amount is 8000 €
I have an education and I think that this year I can find a job and I can have my income to support myself.
If you want to help me, to contribute to help me survive, I will be grateful to you forever.
Thank you so much for the time you spent reading my story.
If you still have questions, support, messages, etc. You can write to [email protected] I will be over to give you feedback.