ryans battle to beat depression

Hi everyone, 

My names Ryan, I am 27 and a loving caring and down to earth guy. I live with my wonderful mum in Stoke - On - Trent in the UK. I have suffered from anxiety and depression since the age of 18. Over the years I have battled with my anxiety and depression with medication, and in August 2005 it was made worse when I lost my big brother to suicide. He suffered from schizophrenia which had gotten worse so he went into hospital voluntarily but weeks later had realeased himself and then he went missing. Police found his body about 2 weeks after he'd left hospital. He he had hung himself, he was only 27. His death had a major impact on me and my family as you can imagine. Me and family went through bereavement counselling which helped ease the pain. But I have really struggled with the loss of my brother and my depression was made worse by this. Last year (June 2012) I was admitted to a psychiatric ward for treatment myself but was told I didn't need to be in there long term. When I was released I went to see my doctor who recommended an increase in my medication and also recommended psychotherapy to me but told me there would be a long waiting list, on hearing that I broke into tears and said to him I needed psychotherapy now. He told me that I could go private, but I told him I could not afford to go private because I am unemployed. I left my doctors feeling really let down and alone. My depression and anxiety has gotten worse and I now can't leave my house without my mum, relative or friend being with me. I really need this psychotherapy so that I can get better and start to enjoy life again. I have managed to find a psychotherapist that will only charge me £35 a session but I need your help to pay for it as I only have enough money to live on out of my benefits. Please help me by donating what you can afford and help me get my life back. I will keep you all updated on my progress. May God Bless all of you for reading my plight. x x