Okay so I finally have a straight answer from the tech team with my ISP (Spark) Basically everyone in my area is on an older exchange, and that older exchange is both old and all copper lines. By the time data gets to me there is already 12dB of interference on the line. At 15dB they stop offering VDSL because it would be dishonest.
So I have two options. I wait out the 2 months (rather "late June") and get fiber. OR I get wireless internet for myself only, because as it turns out the tech said I would get a pretty good signal here and upload speeds would be between 10-20mbps.
Heres the catch, Wireless internet is going to cost me ontop of the bills I already paid. And I dunno if I've made this clear but I live on a shoestring budget as it is. So without assistance I can't meet the demands of the solution.