i NEED : Airflight tickets Return to Sydney-Auckland; Accommodation for 2-3 weeks; Cost of Family Therapist that Specialises in the crime of Maternal Alienation; Travel (as I try and get access to Legal Representation as the Legal Guardian as their father died last year and his death was kept secret from me).
I just want to be recognised as their mum and to be able to see them without any further emotional abuse from those who are holding my son and daughter.
My children were kidnapped by my husband, with a Without Notice application for Temporary custody a week and a half before our Family Court hearing in May 2010. 2007-2010 was when I was finally successful in leaving the "domestic captivity" it wasn't a marriage because I was forced to reconcile with him by the actions of his mormon church members and his parents, who at the time Kidnapped baby Owen. That was in 2000. So history of systemic abuse was repeating itself and the tactic was being used.....again by his parents and now him.
For those three years 2007-2010 both families and the children's father purposely alienated my son and daughter alongside me. I represented a reminder of the crimes that both families commited against me in 2000. The Mental Health Act was waged against me like a weapon every time I tried to speak up for myself, I ....got....punished and traumatised into Submission and Control. This is the reality of what I experienced at the happiest time of my LIFE...when I became a mother. I was 28 years old in 2000. And this is when I lost all my rights as a human and was victimised by not only my "new" husband, his parents and his Mormon church but also my own few family members lead by my very controlling mother. It has been an insane NIGHTMARE ...just UNBELIEVABLE!
I never stopped anyone ever from seeing my son and daughter. Due to zero family support of any kind and now a solo mother on the DPB, from 2007 - 2010 we experienced absolute financial poverty. It was the first time in my life I experienced not having enough food on a weekly basis, the stress not being able to provide for your children is just horrendous, the stress was constant and I was so desperate at one point I sold our vehicle and got ripped off by car wreckers and only got $90 for a pretty good vehicle because I was so stressed with the weekly struggle and it was to just relieve that pressure for a week to have enough food on the table.
Neither grandparents ever visited or offered any financial assistance to help with sports fee's or any extra curricular activities, clothing for my son and daughter. It was like we did not exist to my family or his family. My son and daughter, the memories I have are of them laughing and doing the funniest things. They were loving, affectionate and kind children. They were best friends and we were a fun little family. That's why I suffer so much, they were my everything and I loved every minute being their mum. It was the happiest ten years of my life. Hence why I'm still broken and still trying to piece what life I've got left because I can't see any future and I need to Heal so I'm not completely destroyed.
That's why it has been so horrendous to try and understand why my husband and his parents would go to the extreme of lying on affidavit's. It was NEVER about the welfare of my son and daughter. If they cared they would have called them, or visited or asked if they needed anything like clothing.
The fact they put in a Without Notice Application for Temporary Custody, they lived in Auckland and the children and I lived in the Hutt Valley - not thinking for one second about how heartbroken and sad my son and daughter would be with their mother just disappeared without even a goodbye, to me is just unfathomable. Whatever was written about me was taken as Truth? With no ability to defend allegations. For what crime????? Being financially poor? Coming from a family that didn't care about me or their grandchildren (my family)???? Or did they use the good ole "mental" card again which is a common weapon used against Mother's. "She's mental" is a very generalised statement which is highly discriminative. In the past women were called "witches" and burned at the stake.
I didn't smoke, drink alcohol or do drugs and that was always my Healthy Lifestyle Choice before I met my children's father. I was always in stable employment as a Data Entry Operator and I was working toward being a Police Officer, which was my goal since I was a teenager and one of the main reasons I stayed in school and became very disciplined. I played top women's softball in the Hutt Valley then my love of Bodybuilding was the main hobby in my life.
My son and daughter are now 15 and nearly 17 years of age. Their father died from cancer (I think?) and his death was kept secret from me. A facebooker must have googled his name and notified me of his death six months after he died, he died on 26th June 2016. I found out about his death 4 days before Christmas 2016. After finally having contact with my son and daughter they told me they were told to lie to me by their father and his girlfriend who still has them in her care. No one from his family or my family notified me. I'm still being treated like I am dead and it's extremely abusive and very very hurtful.
And now that their father, my main abuser has died. I still have no ability to access rights to my son and daughter as their legal Guardian. NSW Family Courts told me I had to go to Family Counselling with the girlfriend of my ex husband??? as a first step to gain a Family Court lawyer in Sydney. I live in New Zealand. So I was being forced to go into Counselling and negotiations with the girlfriend of my ex husband as if she was my lesbian wife???? I had no other choice. But then I was told the Family Counselling organisation via mail in New Zealand that they would not help me. Another brickwall.
All I get is incorrect advice or brickwalls and I NEED to get over to Sydney and speak to a Lawyer who will actually help me and not fob me off with more bullshit about having to negotiate with a woman who has in sense of the word kidnapped my children. My son and daughter have had their right to their father's estate, as they are Next of Kin, swiped away from them and their father's girlfriend has received over half a million dollars of their rightful claim as Next of Kin, she through her lawyer gave them only $70,000 each from their Father's estate. They were not married. We were still married all this time and I only found out he got a NZ judge to dissolve our marriage two months before he died, in an email wanting my signature to sign over the half million from the girlfriend's lawyer in May 2017. It has been extremely upsetting to deal with and confusing to be quite honest. I tried to get a lawyer in Sydney AGAIN but no one would represent me.
The children are highly manipulated and I am under no illusion my life has been completely shattered by Maternal Alienation I am still trying to pick up the pieces and Heal. I can't heal with the constant absence of my children. I NEED to at least see them, and I feel initially will be with a Family Counsellor who has experience with Alienated Children and the Alienated mother or father trying to piece together their relationship which was purposely destroyed by the other parent. In this case, their father.
I'm just wanting assistance to Fundraise for Return Airfares to Sydney from Auckland and assistance with accommodation for two - three weeks. I want to organise Counselling before I go over to Sydney and I want to try and find a decent lawyer before I go over to Sydney. I have no support in Sydney and at this stage am not able to handle working full time, so moving to Sydney is just not an option at this point. I wish it was.
So, I will try and Fundraise to be able to travel to Sydney for visits to at least Rebuild bit by bit our shattered relationship as mother, son and daughter. I am hoping that it will help me Heal if my son and daughter and I can overcome so much emotional pain and grief and try and move forward in some way as a family. I don't expect them to come back, I am not in any financial position to give them the life they are used to now AND they're teenagers so their friends are in Sydney. I want what's best for them AND me, which would mean I have to go to Sydney. Getting there is the financial issue.
I am under no illusion that it will not be an easy journey for them or me, but I'm not prepared to lose any more years from my son and daughter and I will try my best to salvage what I can and hopefully be able to see Light at the end of this very dark and painful tunnel.
Maternal Alienation Survivor