Really need help

2014 heartattack with 2 heart stop diagnosed PTSD after the dramatic ambulance transport when I died 2 times. Hospital send me home after 3 days after care. Came home with a death anxiety witch I tried to cure with shopping. I bought garbage and now my economy is very bad. Took a year when I got to see a psychiatrist but it was to late. I began to exercise several times with the result that I got pneumonia so again to the hospital for 7 weeks. Mother died of cancer and now one of my sisters and my aunt both got cancer in the lungs only god knows if they survive. With my luck we probably die all three I got short of breath and get fever almost everyday. I'm deeply depressed and disappointed of my life and I wish I could switch with my family members and die instead of them I love so much. I want to pay my deps and try to get my love ones to go to 'Helsinki there I have heard that they got a private hospital specialist of cancer treatment. Can you people out there help me to fix my life so I can start to believe of a better world for me and my folks. God bless you all