I never thought I would be here now.
A single mother, on welfare, ridiculously poor though gratefully not in debt, undereducated, unemployable due to health with an ex-partner determined to keep me down and refusing to help - going so far as to be unemployed to avoid paying child support for our daughter.
I put everything into becoming healed and strong and healthy when I discovered I was pregnant. I thought I was with my life partner, a kind, generous man who was more excited than I was to be having a child. I learned that a raw, mostly vegan diet worked wonders for my Chronic Fatigue, Adrenal stress and Depressions and by 6 months pregnant my midwife was thrilled at my health and said "whatever you are doing, keep doing it!" I felt alive and vital and soon was living a new dream life - healthy baby, happy family.
Or so I thought. The stronger and healthier I became, the more controlling and paranoid my partner became, until I was terrified to ask for $10 for feminine products each month, terrified to request grocery money for the healthy food I had feeding myself and our child. I began to backslide and the less I could eat raw and the scarier he became, the worse my health was.
When it finally became so bad that our child was screaming No get away from us Daddy! and he was video recording me at random times, following me around silently, smirking... *shudder*. I went to a shelter, where they helped me access welfare and social housing, and finally 2 months later I moved my child and myself into our new home. My ex allowed me 2 hours to enter our home and pack up whatever I could and move it out, and I certainly wasn't getting any furniture or shared belongings. I took everything of my child's and a few of my own things.
I had my Excalibur dehydrator, my juicer, and my food processor - all esssential to my raw diet. I have not been able to follow the diet fully, as I am on the most ridiculous budget and get sicker each time I rely on food bank food. My health has deteriorated to the point of be unable to work, and it takes everything I've got to be a great mom all day before I collapse exhausted at the end of the night. I still breastfeed my child, which helps with her nutrition some, but that means I'm up at night and losing nutrition myself.
First my juicer exploded and died. Then my dehydrator stopped working. I collected returnable bottles and cans until I had enough to order the repair parts and a day after fixing it, something happened and it actually popped and lit on fire. Then my food processor died. So I am thinking at the rate I manage to save about $3 per month, it will be 20 years before I can purchase new appliances. You know that line in A Few Good Men? And the hits just keep on coming....
I am hoping to raise enough money for a VitaMix blender and an Excalibur dehdyrator, plus a couple hundred dollars of online shopping for certain raw ingredients.
I've nearly healed myself entirely once before. I know I can do it again, if I have the right building blocks. I want more than anything to be healthy enough to get myself back to school and working so that I can fufill the dreams of the life I want to raise my daughter in, and be healthy enough to help her learn to be strong and free. You could potentially make an enormous difference in a child's life, and my life as well. I feel like I've done everything I was told to do - he's abusive? LEAVE. PROTECT YOUR CHILD. But 94 resumes later and only 1 call, that didn't pay enough to cover expenses and childcare... well..
I am so grateful for the opportunity to post a *help wanted* ad, so to speak, for free, online. Anything helps. I'm desperate or else I wouldn't be here. Thank you and bless you for reading this.