I joined this firm some 2/3 months ago. It started out great and then the emotional, verbal abuse started. The panic and anxiety attacks started. It came to a point where even a message or email will have me with sweaty palms, cold sweat and sometimes an extent of IBS. I was losing sleep, not eating and was slipping into depression, being close to the area of work has started triggers.. Even though exercise helped and having a good support of amazing friends helped, it was eating me inside out. I started to over train, to push myself till i couldn't feel the emotional and mental pain. i literally couldn't recognize myself as I was questioning my abilities etc
I need to get out of this toxic environment and take care of me. But before I can do that boss man wants me to pay him back the 'bonus' back as I hadn't worked long enough to make it worth his while. i have consulted with friends in the legal profession and they said I could fight to keep it as i had not signed off on it but it would be a tedious and stressful task. And all I want is to run as fast as my legs would take me.
I appreciate anyone who even takes the time to read this. I need help to regain my sanity, mental well-being and also get my life back on track!