Psychotherapy for major depression/suicide thoughts

Update posted by Klara Knap On Sep 24, 2020

My name is Klara and I am 30 years old. I've been battling depression for over 5 years but it was never as bad as it is now. I am taking antidepressants which stopped working. I've just recently quit my professional sports career which also affects my mental state. I am desperate, I feel like I am falling deeper and deeper into a "black hole". I am thinking about ending my life more and more often, Sometimes I feel like my family is the only reason I haven't done it yet. I can't imagine hurting them so much. But I suffer terribly inside my own mind. I would really like to try to go to a psychotherapist but unfortunately I cannot afford it. Please help me. I don't want to feel like this. I would like to be a happy human being and a productive member of the society, which I once was.

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