Pregnant scared and in desperate need of a midwife.

I'm currently pregnant with my 2nd child. I have a 13 yr old daughter and a paralyzing fear of doctor's. I had some issues and complications with my 1st pregnancy, labor/delivery, and follow up care that has had me beyond terrified to go to the doctor. My epidural wore off in the middle of my cesarean section with my 1st child. I felt everything and eventually had to be put under general anesthesia. It was horrible. My follow wasn't any better. I would prefer to go for a vaginal birth if at all medically possible. A midwife is more likely to have a cesarean be the last resort instead of the 1st. My insurance does not cover a midwife in my area. Any contribution would be much appreciated no matter how big or small thank you for a moment of your time and your financial contribution as well.