So, first of all, I would like to apoligize for my bad english and bad gramatic, I used english very long ago, so I forgot a lot and also because of my problems it's hard to me to order thoughts neatly.
Maybe I will start from small intruduction, my name is Daniel(Danielius in my mother language), I'm 21 years old and I'm from small country named Lithuania, and living in small city called Jurbarkas.
MY STORY AND MY PROBLEMS
So now, about my problem. My health problem is very complicated, it's very hard to explain even in my mother language, but I will try my best. Before about two years ago, I went to United Kingdom to find a job, make some money and go back to my country to start study. In UK, after hard work, in time when I should sleep, I'm just lying in bed for about 2-3 hours, I just couldn't fall asleep, no matter how tired I am, because I always think a lot, just overthinking about anything and I couldn't stop. So I started somehow to block all my thoughts, by stopping my breath when I feel impulses in my head who brought that thoughs. Little by little and somehow I manage to stop my overthinking, actually I started to not think at all when is not necessary. Of course, It helped me to fall assleep much faster, but later, I don't even feel how something started to change inside me. After like 2 months I came back to Lithuania before Christmas. And then, I started to feel that's something wrong with me. Firstly, I noticed that my heartbeat was unstable. For example, I'm lying in my bed, and my heart working like I'm running. When I do something, like walking, running, my heart works like I'm sitting or lying in my bed, so it was very hard to do something physically. So, I spent almost 1 month just lying in my bed, eating in my bed, tried to avoid my friends, to go out somewhere, because I didn't knew what's wrong with me, so I decided just to wait and see what happens. After some time, I started to be more active, meeting with friends, going out etc. I didn't get better, but atleast I learned to live with my problems. It was hard, but possible to live. But then, I got called to army. I went to miliitary medical examination, there they check your health if you are suitable for 9 months service. They didn't find anything wrong, only small disorder with my spine(they don't say anything specific). So, I started my service for my country. I was there for few months, and everything started getting worse. I don't know when and how, but my breathing was impaired. I couldn't breath deeply, only like skin-deep. I tried to explain this to military medics, but they didn't find any problems and just said you're be fine. But I'm not. So, I decided just to suffer and finish my 9 month service. It was very hard, trust me. Every morning everyone there was awakened at 5 45 AM and going out for morning exercise, for most it was not very difficult, but for me it was torture, I couldn't think about something I want, I had to think how to do every single action, like how to breath correctly, because I couldn't get enough air. And all our day was very intense. Few times I got blinded for some time, because of lack of oxygen. Even my body has changed, like shrunk a little bit, got smaller because I couldn't straighten my whole body, I justed looked lazy, always without mood, always tired, I couldn't communicate with someone for a long time because I couldn't concentrate on anything. With all my problems, I manage to finish my 9 month service, but no longer I had the motivation to continue doing something further. I felt very lifeless. Every day I woke up, I just didn't want to exist, because on that moment when I woke up, starting thinking, starting to do something, I realise that something is very bad with me. I just feeling very weak and tired of all this problems. I tried to go to doctors, but they could'nt find anything, because my hometown hospital is very poor. I needed to go to capital hospital, but I have to have job, to make money, but I couldn't do any job, I tried, worked for 3 weeks, but it's too hard for me. Before all my problems, I was very lively, always wanted to do something, I started to make my own money from 14 years old till when I went to army. So for few months I just didn't knew what to do, so just stayed in my parents house. And of course, one problem after another, I got debt 1250€(it's because of my stupid teen years, I got 2x18€ ticket and small loan 100€ I took before going to UK, I forgot about everything because of my health problems and amount of my debt incresed 10x times, it's very usual in my country). So I got -1250€ in my bank account(now it's -850€), something really bad with my health, and also I haven't mentioned before, I had a girlfriend for about 3 years, 2 years before army, and year after army, but we all this we just broke up. I don't want to talk a lot about this, but we broke up, because I cound't give her a lot off attention, love and everything girlfriend needs. Because off my health problems, I got changed, I can't feel any feelings, I have to be fake, act like I'm having fun, but it was very hard for that long, so I started to give up, so I just wanted to let her go, even it was very painful. Sorry, it's very hard to explain, I forgot a lot of details to get this story clear. So, I started feeling like I'm in very deep depression, and it's not that like every teen depression, it's like very dark depression. Because, I want to live, I want full-fledged life, I want to feel joy, to seek something in my life, but all I can do, just survive and hope that one day I will be fine, like I was before UK. So now, I've been visiting doctors for like half year, I had a lot of health researches(I don't know wrote that right), but they couldn't find find a way how to restore my normal health. They said, that I have some kind of disorder, that my health is in danger and it could get worse, so they do their best. But in my country our health support is very slow, I have to wait like 1 month for new researche, my next visit only on 2019.09.23, and I waiting from 2019.07.02. I can't wait that long, I need help as soon as possible, so doctors offer me to go to private clinics, but I need money for this. I can't ask my parents for that much, so please, all I ask to understand my pain and my will to live and help me with money.
(if you don't want to read all my story)WHY I NEED MONEY
I need money for private clinic doctors, I need massages for my back, because my spine has disorder and can pinch the nerve, I need this as soon as possible, but 1 procedure costs minimum 300€, I need few. Also 1 visit costs minimum 50-100€ and I need not only one or few visits. I don't have exact amount, how much I need, but any amount would be very helpful. Also, they want to try few methods, like connect me to artificial respirator and try to restore my breath rhythm, but it costs. And not even I don't have money and can't work to get money, but also have ~850€ debt(-850€ on my bank account). I'm very desperate, but I want to have a normal life, please, try to understand me and help me. One by one donate, even small, can help me. I can't fight by myself, I need support, so please, help. EVEN IF YOU DON'T HAVE MONEY, OR DON'T WANT TO DONATE, PLEASE SHARE MY STORY ON FACEBOOK, TWITTER OR ANY OTHER SOCIAL NETWORK
Here will be my updates:
Sorry, for now I won't upload any photo of me, I'm very shy first of all, don't want my picture and my problems in worldwide site. BUT, if I got some support and reached first 1000€ I will post how I deposit money to bank accout and get rid off my debt. Later, I will post picture of, because I think I would get more motivation to be visible for everyone, because I opened all my heart, my all problems, and if I would not get any donation, It would be embarrassing for me. So, I hope you can understand me. If you have any questions, or want to talk about anything, I will leave here my email: [email protected]