Please help saving my life!

Hello, friend!

First, I would like to thank you to take a look at my fundraiser page! I'm a transgender guy (FtM, he/him pronouns). My name is Jonathan, (well, I hope to be using that officially, in the future) and I badly need your help to save my life! Please spend a moment to read about me and my struggles!

Secondly, I'd like to sum up my story...
I was born -and sadly still live in- Budapest, Hungary. I grown up being abused and bullied every single day. I am from a completely broken home with the history of an alcoholic, abusive grandfather, an emotionally abusive grandmother, an emotionally neglecting mother, a father dying at an early age of mine, and a half brother stealing whatever he could from us, then leaving us.
I've been struggling with depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, and gender dysphoria as long as I can remember.

I've been seeing my psychiatrist for over a year now, where I had to start taking anti-depressants and pills for my panic attacks, because things got so bad, I've had multiple tries of killing myself a week. If my mother wasn't there, I wouldn't be here today...
I'm completely broken, crippled my my gender dysphoria. I'm desperately trying to work, but people in my country are so closed minded and conservative, they hurt me on purpose, triggering my dysphoria, thus triggering my panic attacks. Panic attacks can cause heart attacks and other deadly issues.

My life is constant depression, anxiety, and struggling... The only time I feel at peace is when I think of finally dying. It makes me feel calm, thinking I'm finally done with this suffering.
I don't expect you to understand this. Only those who truly experience crippling dysphoria can. And I wish that on noone, not even my worst enemy.

I badly need your help in getting the treatment I need, so that I could live normally, and function normally, because I don't know how long I can keep doing this anymore. I'm in so much pain, I can't...

Even if you cannot help with donating, please keep sharing and be an advocate for trans people.

I need the money for seeing my 3rd (last) doctor, to start transitioning, and then to get top surgery and hysterectomy. I cannot pay any of that... because I need money to be in a mental state where I'm able to work, but I cannot work because I'm not well enough.

I hate to be asking for money and I feel pathetic, I can tell you that... but I've got no choice. When I finally got a job I liked, even if it didn't pay much, I did all I could to stay, but again, I got a panic attack and got kicked out because of that... Right after, I got a letter from NAV (Hungarian organization that takes tax and healthcare money) that I owe them ~400.000 HUF (Around $1300 USD!!!) for the past years of not paying healthcare. I never once used any of their doctors, but that doesn't matter to them. I'm so crippled mentally, I cannot work, but that doesn't matter to my country, They chase you and take everything from you, but when you're literally on the verge of death, unable to save yourself, they don't help, they just push you into the ground even more.

Another thing about Hungary is, that they don't let trans people change their ID's for a name & sex change. I either sue them via Germany, beg Germany to help changing laws, or I could go to the UK for the name change... It's ridiculous that in 2021 this still is a thing... I'm completely broken...

My dream is to move to London, and open a cruelty free, healthy café. A place for everyone to feel safe, loved and accepted in. From that income, to build a housing system for LGBTQ+ youth to help them and be their family. I want to do good in this world, I want to help others. But before I can work towards my dreams and help others, I need to help myself.

As much as it is painful to open up and to be so vulnerable, I still want to be completely transparent so if you have any questions regarding my situation, please feel free to contact me. ([email protected])

To sum it up, and make it clear:
I need money for:
-paying a physician to give me the last paper I need to start transitioning, HRT
-getting top surgery and hysterectomy (Hysterectomy is important because that organ can get cancerous when I take Testosterone for a long time, my doctor said. An top surgery is so that I can pass as a guy and be able to function in society.)
-travelling fee to London and back for name change

Anytime I've tried such things, noone helped... but I'm hoping I can trust the universe and it'll give me a 2nd chance at life.
If for some miraculous reason we can raise more than I need, the extra money will be spent to help my 2 trans friends to help them with their issues (which are the same as mine).
I will be showing you evidence of how things turn out, I can promise you that.

Even if you just share, even if you just add a single coin... I thank you so very much for helping me.... I have no words.
Thank you for saving my life!

With love, and appreciation,
Jonathan