please help our family

My name is Michael. I was browsing the internet while searching for ways to help my family when I came across this website. I'm not sure how to go about this, so I'll just go ahead and be as straightforward as I can be. Yes, we are in need. I'm certain that there are others in a worse situation than we are...none of us have a serious illness, and we are not homeless, thank God. Yet we suffer on a daily basis. To what degree, I'll leave that for you to judge. Here's my story...


My wife and I have been together for 15 years, and have 3 beautiful children...a 6 year old girl and 2 boys ages 4 and 2. We are not "officially" married, plainly and simply because we have never been able to afford a wedding, but I refer to Shirley as my "wife" because that's what she is to me, official or not. We have struggled with financial hardship for our entire 15 year history together. I will be the 1st to say that the root of our struggles is likely my failure to do what I should have done so many years ago...go to college, create a profitable career and a successful life. I was young and stupid, and like many I failed to see the importance of such things while I had the chance. I'm 47 now, my wife is 39. 


5 years ago we were living in Clearwater, Florida. We had moved there from NY when my wife became pregnant with our 1st child, in hopes of providing a better life for our future family, as the cost of living is cheaper there than in NY. We both obtained jobs at a warehouse there, nothing glamorous, $10 each per hour, but with that we managed to rent an apartment and eventually buy a used car. Sure, we struggled with the bills and other expenses but all in all we were ok. The years passed, and we remained with that company for 5 years.


In our 5th year as Floridians we had a falling out, and my wife decided she wanted to leave the relationship and return to NY, as her entire family lives there. I advised her against doing this, but she would not relent. I knew she was serious when she took our 2 kids (at that time) and left for NY in a rental car (she is afraid to fly), knowing ours couldn't survive the trip. As a man who loved his children, I would not be estranged from them, so I quit my job of 5 years, sold the car and whatever else I could of what I owned and flew to NY.


I arrived in Yonkers, NY, and booked a room in the cheapest hotel I could find. When I could no longer afford to do that, Shirley finally relented and allowed me to stay with her and the kids at her elderly and poor mother's apartment. I set out to find work, but at the time the US was going through a recession and jobs were scarce, especially with no car. We got on public assistance with the Department of Social Services. They provided us with food stamps and a small amount of cash to live on. During our time at her mother's Shirley and I reconciled. From there, we went to Shirley's sister's apartment, in a run down building on a drug infested block. There, the 4 of us shared a small bedroom while Shirley's sister shared a room with her son.


Soon, the population of the little 2 bedroom apartment increased. Also suffering hard times, Shirley's other sister and her boyfriend, the sister's friend and daughter, and the son's friend moved in. That made 11 of us in a two bedroom apartment, all poor. We were there for a year. Everyone fed the entire bunch with their food stamps when they got them, which was always on different dates, but it was never enough, we were always hungry. Most important was to make sure the kids were fed, so often the adults would eat very little. It was then we had our third child, and the 5 of us lived in that one room. 


We decided that we could no longer survive this way, and went to DSS and asked them to place us in a family shelter. They did, and we were there for 4 months, again in 1 small room, but our meals were provided for and the place was air conditioned. Finally DSS agreed to pay for us to move into an apartment, but at a very low rental rate. The best 2 bedroom I could find that would be approved was an apartment in the worst part of Yonkers. We moved in, and soon found that the building was infested with mice, roaches, waterbugs and drug dealers. DSS would not approve for us to move from there once the deal was done, so there we remained. The summers and winters were hard. We had no air conditioning and could not afford to buy one, so on the hottest days we had the kids spend most of the night in the cool bath, and if we were lucky someone would break open the hydrant on the corner for the local kids to cool off by.


We struggled. We were broke, and often hungry. My wife resorted to going out on the streets to try begging money from people to feed the kids. One day while doing this, she gave in to the depression, stress and pressure and responded to the drug dealers who called out to her every night. She began using crack-cocaine. It was the beginning of the end. She spent most of her hours out getting high, leaving me alone to manage our 3 kids. She would bring home an occasional quart of milk or a couple of McDonald's dollar burgers if we were lucky. She sold most of what we owned to support her habit. She became, sick, emaciated, paranoid and delusional. I knew that if she kept this up she would die. This continued for almost a year. Desiring to clean up, she entered a local out-patient program, who in turn notified DSS of her presence there. With the ever-present drug laden environment and dealers calling out to her every day, she failed to stay clean. DSS placed a "sanction" on our case as punishment, reducing our benefits to almost nothing, and they stopped paying our rent. We were facing eviction. I couldn't keep up with diapers, wipes, basic needs.


Finally I turned to the Dept. of Children and Families to help me save her life, something I had hoped not to have to resort to, They forced her to leave the home and enter a long term recovery program in Harlem. This was a program designed for women with children, so after much discussion I allowed her to bring my youngest son there to live with her. I stayed behind in the building from hell with my 2 older children. She DID desire to become clean, be a mother and wife again, live and have a normal life, so she put her all into the recovery. 


The place was filled with women mandated there from prison who constantly tried to start physical altercations, so the going was tough. Drugs and cigarettes were sneaked in and used there, it was not a good environment for Shirley or my son. Nonetheless, Shirley stayed with it and gained completions in all the classes she was instructed to attend. While they were away, myself and our other 2 kids obtained permission to move from the building we were living in. DSS initially resisted but when I explained to them that Shirley could not return to that environment and be successful at sobriety they relented, knowing that not to do so would only incur further DSS support. I sought a 1 bedroom apartment rather than 2 in order to find a nicer place for the same money in a decent neighborhood. We moved to a nice, quiet town far from Yonkers, a great place for my kids to live and a safe place for Shirley and Aiden upon their return.


Shirley and Aiden were away from us in the program for 5 long months. Shirley got healthy again, and her attitude was extremely positive. One day while Shirley was speaking with a counselor, an unidentified man attempted to abduct Aiden into a 3rd floor stairwell. Aiden screamed and resisted and the man fled. Turns out the security cameras were not operating. The next day, a man who was not part of the program was found living secretly within the building. When he was apprehended it was discovered that he was wanted for rape and attempted murder. It is assumed he is the same man who tried to attack my son. Shirley then expressed a desire to leave the program, fearing for her and Aiden's safety.


Shirley was then warned that staff was considering filing child neglect charges against Shirley for not knowing Aiden was near the stairwell while she was with the counselor 10 feet away. Upon discussion with other residents, Shirley learned that this type of action was not uncommon when women "threatened" to leave the program. It is widely believed that the program staff would resort to these measures in order to insure long attendance of the residents in order to secure continued funding. Some have been there for over 2 years. I cannot prove this but I have complained to authorities and asked for an investigation.


Fearing the worst, Shirley left the program and came home with Aiden. She called DSS to notify them, explained the circumstances and asked permission to attend an out patient program. DSS refused, and placed an additional sanction upon us because Shirley left the program without permission, regardless of the circumstances or the fact that Shirley remains clean and sober to this day, has every intention of staying that way, and is willing and able to prove it.


Our Children need their mother, and I need my wife, but DSS doesn't care. They don't care that Shirley is clean and in full compliance. We are so happy to have her back, clean and healthy but they don't care. The program was meant as a means to an end, not the end itself, and if sobriety is the goal then the goal has been reached. Nonetheless, DSS continues to punish our family, our CHILDREN by refusing to provide us with assistance. We have no money. We beg for diapers for Aiden from local pantries and survive on canned goods given to us by them. We have no car, no money for public transit, no business attire to pursue work. We wash our laundry in the tub with bar soap and hang it around the apartment to dry. We roast on the hot days with no AC. Our kids wear old, stained clothing that is too small for their growing bodies and they have holes in their sneakers. They beg for toys we can't provide. To eat a pizza for dinner would be like winning the lottery. The kids are losing weight because they don't like the food that's given to us. I can't give my daughter money for programs at the school that require money to participate in. We need help. We are stressed and at the edge. We are waiting for a DSS fair hearing which I am told could be months away. In the meantime my children continue to suffer without their basic needs. I've written to the county commissioner but have received no response. At this time, DSS is the only thing standing in our way to obtaining self-sufficiency and creating a prosperous, fruitful life. We want to get married, go back to school, obtain careers. Send the kids to summer camp and dancing classes. Have the well deserved vacation we've never had. Provide the kids with decent clothes so they can feel proud and not ashamed of themselves, and us. Afford a sitter for a night out, it would be the 1st in over 6 years. Make our kids happy and healthy, above all else.


Would you find it in your heart to help us? Anything, no matter how small would help us tremendously. Thank you so much for listening to my story...I am truly grateful.My name is Michael. I was browsing the internet while searching for ways to help my family when I came across this website. I'm not sure how to go about this, so I'll just go ahead and be as straightforward as I can be. Yes, we are in need. I'm certain that there are others in a worse situation than we are...none of us have a serious illness, and we are not homeless, thank God. Yet we suffer on a daily basis. To what degree, I'll leave that for you to judge. Here's my story...


My wife and I have been together for 15 years, and have 3 beautiful children...a 6 year old girl and 2 boys ages 4 and 2. We are not "officially" married, plainly and simply because we have never been able to afford a wedding, but I refer to Shirley as my "wife" because that's what she is to me, official or not. We have struggled with financial hardship for our entire 15 year history together. I will be the 1st to say that the root of our struggles is likely my failure to do what I should have done so many years ago...go to college, create a profitable career and a successful life. I was young and stupid, and like many I failed to see the importance of such things while I had the chance. I'm 47 now, my wife is 39. 


5 years ago we were living in Clearwater, Florida. We had moved there from NY when my wife became pregnant with our 1st child, in hopes of providing a better life for our future family, as the cost of living is cheaper there than in NY. We both obtained jobs at a warehouse there, nothing glamorous, $10 each per hour, but with that we managed to rent an apartment and eventually buy a used car. Sure, we struggled with the bills and other expenses but all in all we were ok. The years passed, and we remained with that company for 5 years.


In our 5th year as Floridians we had a falling out, and my wife decided she wanted to leave the relationship and return to NY, as her entire family lives there. I advised her against doing this, but she would not relent. I knew she was serious when she took our 2 kids (at that time) and left for NY in a rental car (she is afraid to fly), knowing ours couldn't survive the trip. As a man who loved his children, I would not be estranged from them, so I quit my job of 5 years, sold the car and whatever else I could of what I owned and flew to NY.


I arrived in Yonkers, NY, and booked a room in the cheapest hotel I could find. When I could no longer afford to do that, Shirley finally relented and allowed me to stay with her and the kids at her elderly and poor mother's apartment. I set out to find work, but at the time the US was going through a recession and jobs were scarce, especially with no car. We got on public assistance with the Department of Social Services. They provided us with food stamps and a small amount of cash to live on. During our time at her mother's Shirley and I reconciled. From there, we went to Shirley's sister's apartment, in a run down building on a drug infested block. There, the 4 of us shared a small bedroom while Shirley's sister shared a room with her son.


Soon, the population of the little 2 bedroom apartment increased. Also suffering hard times, Shirley's other sister and her boyfriend, the sister's friend and daughter, and the son's friend moved in. That made 11 of us in a two bedroom apartment, all poor. We were there for a year. Everyone fed the entire bunch with their food stamps when they got them, which was always on different dates, but it was never enough, we were always hungry. Most important was to make sure the kids were fed, so often the adults would eat very little. It was then we had our third child, and the 5 of us lived in that one room. 


We decided that we could no longer survive this way, and went to DSS and asked them to place us in a family shelter. They did, and we were there for 4 months, again in 1 small room, but our meals were provided for and the place was air conditioned. Finally DSS agreed to pay for us to move into an apartment, but at a very low rental rate. The best 2 bedroom I could find that would be approved was an apartment in the worst part of Yonkers. We moved in, and soon found that the building was infested with mice, roaches, waterbugs and drug dealers. DSS would not approve for us to move from there once the deal was done, so there we remained. The summers and winters were hard. We had no air conditioning and could not afford to buy one, so on the hottest days we had the kids spend most of the night in the cool bath, and if we were lucky someone would break open the hydrant on the corner for the local kids to cool off by.


We struggled. We were broke, and often hungry. My wife resorted to going out on the streets to try begging money from people to feed the kids. One day while doing this, she gave in to the depression, stress and pressure and responded to the drug dealers who called out to her every night. She began using crack-cocaine. It was the beginning of the end. She spent most of her hours out getting high, leaving me alone to manage our 3 kids. She would bring home an occasional quart of milk or a couple of McDonald's dollar burgers if we were lucky. She sold most of what we owned to support her habit. She became, sick, emaciated, paranoid and delusional. I knew that if she kept this up she would die. This continued for almost a year. Desiring to clean up, she entered a local out-patient program, who in turn notified DSS of her presence there. With the ever-present drug laden environment and dealers calling out to her every day, she failed to stay clean. DSS placed a "sanction" on our case as punishment, reducing our benefits to almost nothing, and they stopped paying our rent. We were facing eviction. I couldn't keep up with diapers, wipes, basic needs.


Finally I turned to the Dept. of Children and Families to help me save her life, something I had hoped not to have to resort to, They forced her to leave the home and enter a long term recovery program in Harlem. This was a program designed for women with children, so after much discussion I allowed her to bring my youngest son there to live with her. I stayed behind in the building from hell with my 2 older children. She DID desire to become clean, be a mother and wife again, live and have a normal life, so she put her all into the recovery. 


The place was filled with women mandated there from prison who constantly tried to start physical altercations, so the going was tough. Drugs and cigarettes were sneaked in and used there, it was not a good environment for Shirley or my son. Nonetheless, Shirley stayed with it and gained completions in all the classes she was instructed to attend. While they were away, myself and our other 2 kids obtained permission to move from the building we were living in. DSS initially resisted but when I explained to them that Shirley could not return to that environment and be successful at sobriety they relented, knowing that not to do so would only incur further DSS support. I sought a 1 bedroom apartment rather than 2 in order to find a nicer place for the same money in a decent neighborhood. We moved to a nice, quiet town far from Yonkers, a great place for my kids to live and a safe place for Shirley and Aiden upon their return.


Shirley and Aiden were away from us in the program for 5 long months. Shirley got healthy again, and her attitude was extremely positive. One day while Shirley was speaking with a counselor, an unidentified man attempted to abduct Aiden into a 3rd floor stairwell. Aiden screamed and resisted and the man fled. Turns out the security cameras were not operating. The next day, a man who was not part of the program was found living secretly within the building. When he was apprehended it was discovered that he was wanted for rape and attempted murder. It is assumed he is the same man who tried to attack my son. Shirley then expressed a desire to leave the program, fearing for her and Aiden's safety.


Shirley was then warned that staff was considering filing child neglect charges against Shirley for not knowing Aiden was near the stairwell while she was with the counselor 10 feet away. Upon discussion with other residents, Shirley learned that this type of action was not uncommon when women "threatened" to leave the program. It is widely believed that the program staff would resort to these measures in order to insure long attendance of the residents in order to secure continued funding. Some have been there for over 2 years. I cannot prove this but I have complained to authorities and asked for an investigation.


Fearing the worst, Shirley left the program and came home with Aiden. She called DSS to notify them, explained the circumstances and asked permission to attend an out patient program. DSS refused, and placed an additional sanction upon us because Shirley left the program without permission, regardless of the circumstances or the fact that Shirley remains clean and sober to this day, has every intention of staying that way, and is willing and able to prove it.


Our Children need their mother, and I need my wife, but DSS doesn't care. They don't care that Shirley is clean and in full compliance. We are so happy to have her back, clean and healthy but they don't care. The program was meant as a means to an end, not the end itself, and if sobriety is the goal then the goal has been reached. Nonetheless, DSS continues to punish our family, our CHILDREN by refusing to provide us with assistance. We have no money. We beg for diapers for Aiden from local pantries and survive on canned goods given to us by them. We have no car, no money for public transit, no business attire to pursue work. We wash our laundry in the tub with bar soap and hang it around the apartment to dry. We roast on the hot days with no AC. Our kids wear old, stained clothing that is too small for their growing bodies and they have holes in their sneakers. They beg for toys we can't provide. To eat a pizza for dinner would be like winning the lottery. The kids are losing weight because they don't like the food that's given to us. I can't give my daughter money for programs at the school that require money to participate in. We need help. We are stressed and at the edge. We are waiting for a DSS fair hearing which I am told could be months away. In the meantime my children continue to suffer without their basic needs. I've written to the county commissioner but have received no response. At this time, DSS is the only thing standing in our way to obtaining self-sufficiency and creating a prosperous, fruitful life. We want to get married, go back to school, obtain careers. Send the kids to summer camp and dancing classes. Have the well deserved vacation we've never had. Provide the kids with decent clothes so they can feel proud and not ashamed of themselves, and us. Afford a sitter for a night out, it would be the 1st in over 6 years. Make our kids happy and healthy, above all else.


Would you find it in your heart to help us? Anything, no matter how small would help us tremendously. Thank you so much for listening to my story...I am truly grateful.My name is Michael. I was browsing the internet while searching for ways to help my family when I came across this website. I'm not sure how to go about this, so I'll just go ahead and be as straightforward as I can be. Yes, we are in need. I'm certain that there are others in a worse situation than we are...none of us have a serious illness, and we are not homeless, thank God. Yet we suffer on a daily basis. To what degree, I'll leave that for you to judge. Here's my story...


My wife and I have been together for 15 years, and have 3 beautiful children...a 6 year old girl and 2 boys ages 4 and 2. We are not "officially" married, plainly and simply because we have never been able to afford a wedding, but I refer to Shirley as my "wife" because that's what she is to me, official or not. We have struggled with financial hardship for our entire 15 year history together. I will be the 1st to say that the root of our struggles is likely my failure to do what I should have done so many years ago...go to college, create a profitable career and a successful life. I was young and stupid, and like many I failed to see the importance of such things while I had the chance. I'm 47 now, my wife is 39. 


5 years ago we were living in Clearwater, Florida. We had moved there from NY when my wife became pregnant with our 1st child, in hopes of providing a better life for our future family, as the cost of living is cheaper there than in NY. We both obtained jobs at a warehouse there, nothing glamorous, $10 each per hour, but with that we managed to rent an apartment and eventually buy a used car. Sure, we struggled with the bills and other expenses but all in all we were ok. The years passed, and we remained with that company for 5 years.


In our 5th year as Floridians we had a falling out, and my wife decided she wanted to leave the relationship and return to NY, as her entire family lives there. I advised her against doing this, but she would not relent. I knew she was serious when she took our 2 kids (at that time) and left for NY in a rental car (she is afraid to fly), knowing ours couldn't survive the trip. As a man who loved his children, I would not be estranged from them, so I quit my job of 5 years, sold the car and whatever else I could of what I owned and flew to NY.


I arrived in Yonkers, NY, and booked a room in the cheapest hotel I could find. When I could no longer afford to do that, Shirley finally relented and allowed me to stay with her and the kids at her elderly and poor mother's apartment. I set out to find work, but at the time the US was going through a recession and jobs were scarce, especially with no car. We got on public assistance with the Department of Social Services. They provided us with food stamps and a small amount of cash to live on. During our time at her mother's Shirley and I reconciled. From there, we went to Shirley's sister's apartment, in a run down building on a drug infested block. There, the 4 of us shared a small bedroom while Shirley's sister shared a room with her son.


Soon, the population of the little 2 bedroom apartment increased. Also suffering hard times, Shirley's other sister and her boyfriend, the sister's friend and daughter, and the son's friend moved in. That made 11 of us in a two bedroom apartment, all poor. We were there for a year. Everyone fed the entire bunch with their food stamps when they got them, which was always on different dates, but it was never enough, we were always hungry. Most important was to make sure the kids were fed, so often the adults would eat very little. It was then we had our third child, and the 5 of us lived in that one room. 


We decided that we could no longer survive this way, and went to DSS and asked them to place us in a family shelter. They did, and we were there for 4 months, again in 1 small room, but our meals were provided for and the place was air conditioned. Finally DSS agreed to pay for us to move into an apartment, but at a very low rental rate. The best 2 bedroom I could find that would be approved was an apartment in the worst part of Yonkers. We moved in, and soon found that the building was infested with mice, roaches, waterbugs and drug dealers. DSS would not approve for us to move from there once the deal was done, so there we remained. The summers and winters were hard. We had no air conditioning and could not afford to buy one, so on the hottest days we had the kids spend most of the night in the cool bath, and if we were lucky someone would break open the hydrant on the corner for the local kids to cool off by.


We struggled. We were broke, and often hungry. My wife resorted to going out on the streets to try begging money from people to feed the kids. One day while doing this, she gave in to the depression, stress and pressure and responded to the drug dealers who called out to her every night. She began using crack-cocaine. It was the beginning of the end. She spent most of her hours out getting high, leaving me alone to manage our 3 kids. She would bring home an occasional quart of milk or a couple of McDonald's dollar burgers if we were lucky. She sold most of what we owned to support her habit. She became, sick, emaciated, paranoid and delusional. I knew that if she kept this up she would die. This continued for almost a year. Desiring to clean up, she entered a local out-patient program, who in turn notified DSS of her presence there. With the ever-present drug laden environment and dealers calling out to her every day, she failed to stay clean. DSS placed a "sanction" on our case as punishment, reducing our benefits to almost nothing, and they stopped paying our rent. We were facing eviction. I couldn't keep up with diapers, wipes, basic needs.


Finally I turned to the Dept. of Children and Families to help me save her life, something I had hoped not to have to resort to, They forced her to leave the home and enter a long term recovery program in Harlem. This was a program designed for women with children, so after much discussion I allowed her to bring my youngest son there to live with her. I stayed behind in the building from hell with my 2 older children. She DID desire to become clean, be a mother and wife again, live and have a normal life, so she put her all into the recovery. 


The place was filled with women mandated there from prison who constantly tried to start physical altercations, so the going was tough. Drugs and cigarettes were sneaked in and used there, it was not a good environment for Shirley or my son. Nonetheless, Shirley stayed with it and gained completions in all the classes she was instructed to attend. While they were away, myself and our other 2 kids obtained permission to move from the building we were living in. DSS initially resisted but when I explained to them that Shirley could not return to that environment and be successful at sobriety they relented, knowing that not to do so would only incur further DSS support. I sought a 1 bedroom apartment rather than 2 in order to find a nicer place for the same money in a decent neighborhood. We moved to a nice, quiet town far from Yonkers, a great place for my kids to live and a safe place for Shirley and Aiden upon their return.


Shirley and Aiden were away from us in the program for 5 long months. Shirley got healthy again, and her attitude was extremely positive. One day while Shirley was speaking with a counselor, an unidentified man attempted to abduct Aiden into a 3rd floor stairwell. Aiden screamed and resisted and the man fled. Turns out the security cameras were not operating. The next day, a man who was not part of the program was found living secretly within the building. When he was apprehended it was discovered that he was wanted for rape and attempted murder. It is assumed he is the same man who tried to attack my son. Shirley then expressed a desire to leave the program, fearing for her and Aiden's safety.


Shirley was then warned that staff was considering filing child neglect charges against Shirley for not knowing Aiden was near the stairwell while she was with the counselor 10 feet away. Upon discussion with other residents, Shirley learned that this type of action was not uncommon when women "threatened" to leave the program. It is widely believed that the program staff would resort to these measures in order to insure long attendance of the residents in order to secure continued funding. Some have been there for over 2 years. I cannot prove this but I have complained to authorities and asked for an investigation.


Fearing the worst, Shirley left the program and came home with Aiden. She called DSS to notify them, explained the circumstances and asked permission to attend an out patient program. DSS refused, and placed an additional sanction upon us because Shirley left the program without permission, regardless of the circumstances or the fact that Shirley remains clean and sober to this day, has every intention of staying that way, and is willing and able to prove it.


Our Children need their mother, and I need my wife, but DSS doesn't care. They don't care that Shirley is clean and in full compliance. We are so happy to have her back, clean and healthy but they don't care. The program was meant as a means to an end, not the end itself, and if sobriety is the goal then the goal has been reached. Nonetheless, DSS continues to punish our family, our CHILDREN by refusing to provide us with assistance. We have no money. We beg for diapers for Aiden from local pantries and survive on canned goods given to us by them. We have no car, no money for public transit, no business attire to pursue work. We wash our laundry in the tub with bar soap and hang it around the apartment to dry. We roast on the hot days with no AC. Our kids wear old, stained clothing that is too small for their growing bodies and they have holes in their sneakers. They beg for toys we can't provide. To eat a pizza for dinner would be like winning the lottery. The kids are losing weight because they don't like the food that's given to us. I can't give my daughter money for programs at the school that require money to participate in. We need help. We are stressed and at the edge. We are waiting for a DSS fair hearing which I am told could be months away. In the meantime my children continue to suffer without their basic needs. I've written to the county commissioner but have received no response. At this time, DSS is the only thing standing in our way to obtaining self-sufficiency and creating a prosperous, fruitful life. We want to get married, go back to school, obtain careers. Send the kids to summer camp and dancing classes. Have the well deserved vacation we've never had. Provide the kids with decent clothes so they can feel proud and not ashamed of themselves, and us. Afford a sitter for a night out, it would be the 1st in over 6 years. Make our kids happy and healthy, above all else.


Would you find it in your heart to help us? Anything, no matter how small would help us tremendously. Thank you so much for listening to my story...I am truly grateful.My name is Michael. I was browsing the internet while searching for ways to help my family when I came across this website. I'm not sure how to go about this, so I'll just go ahead and be as straightforward as I can be. Yes, we are in need. I'm certain that there are others in a worse situation than we are...none of us have a serious illness, and we are not homeless, thank God. Yet we suffer on a daily basis. To what degree, I'll leave that for you to judge. Here's my story...


My wife and I have been together for 15 years, and have 3 beautiful children...a 6 year old girl and 2 boys ages 4 and 2. We are not "officially" married, plainly and simply because we have never been able to afford a wedding, but I refer to Shirley as my "wife" because that's what she is to me, official or not. We have struggled with financial hardship for our entire 15 year history together. I will be the 1st to say that the root of our struggles is likely my failure to do what I should have done so many years ago...go to college, create a profitable career and a successful life. I was young and stupid, and like many I failed to see the importance of such things while I had the chance. I'm 47 now, my wife is 39. 


5 years ago we were living in Clearwater, Florida. We had moved there from NY when my wife became pregnant with our 1st child, in hopes of providing a better life for our future family, as the cost of living is cheaper there than in NY. We both obtained jobs at a warehouse there, nothing glamorous, $10 each per hour, but with that we managed to rent an apartment and eventually buy a used car. Sure, we struggled with the bills and other expenses but all in all we were ok. The years passed, and we remained with that company for 5 years.


In our 5th year as Floridians we had a falling out, and my wife decided she wanted to leave the relationship and return to NY, as her entire family lives there. I advised her against doing this, but she would not relent. I knew she was serious when she took our 2 kids (at that time) and left for NY in a rental car (she is afraid to fly), knowing ours couldn't survive the trip. As a man who loved his children, I would not be estranged from them, so I quit my job of 5 years, sold the car and whatever else I could of what I owned and flew to NY.


I arrived in Yonkers, NY, and booked a room in the cheapest hotel I could find. When I could no longer afford to do that, Shirley finally relented and allowed me to stay with her and the kids at her elderly and poor mother's apartment. I set out to find work, but at the time the US was going through a recession and jobs were scarce, especially with no car. We got on public assistance with the Department of Social Services. They provided us with food stamps and a small amount of cash to live on. During our time at her mother's Shirley and I reconciled. From there, we went to Shirley's sister's apartment, in a run down building on a drug infested block. There, the 4 of us shared a small bedroom while Shirley's sister shared a room with her son.


Soon, the population of the little 2 bedroom apartment increased. Also suffering hard times, Shirley's other sister and her boyfriend, the sister's friend and daughter, and the son's friend moved in. That made 11 of us in a two bedroom apartment, all poor. We were there for a year. Everyone fed the entire bunch with their food stamps when they got them, which was always on different dates, but it was never enough, we were always hungry. Most important was to make sure the kids were fed, so often the adults would eat very little. It was then we had our third child, and the 5 of us lived in that one room. 


We decided that we could no longer survive this way, and went to DSS and asked them to place us in a family shelter. They did, and we were there for 4 months, again in 1 small room, but our meals were provided for and the place was air conditioned. Finally DSS agreed to pay for us to move into an apartment, but at a very low rental rate. The best 2 bedroom I could find that would be approved was an apartment in the worst part of Yonkers. We moved in, and soon found that the building was infested with mice, roaches, waterbugs and drug dealers. DSS would not approve for us to move from there once the deal was done, so there we remained. The summers and winters were hard. We had no air conditioning and could not afford to buy one, so on the hottest days we had the kids spend most of the night in the cool bath, and if we were lucky someone would break open the hydrant on the corner for the local kids to cool off by.


We struggled. We were broke, and often hungry. My wife resorted to going out on the streets to try begging money from people to feed the kids. One day while doing this, she gave in to the depression, stress and pressure and responded to the drug dealers who called out to her every night. She began using crack-cocaine. It was the beginning of the end. She spent most of her hours out getting high, leaving me alone to manage our 3 kids. She would bring home an occasional quart of milk or a couple of McDonald's dollar burgers if we were lucky. She sold most of what we owned to support her habit. She became, sick, emaciated, paranoid and delusional. I knew that if she kept this up she would die. This continued for almost a year. Desiring to clean up, she entered a local out-patient program, who in turn notified DSS of her presence there. With the ever-present drug laden environment and dealers calling out to her every day, she failed to stay clean. DSS placed a "sanction" on our case as punishment, reducing our benefits to almost nothing, and they stopped paying our rent. We were facing eviction. I couldn't keep up with diapers, wipes, basic needs.


Finally I turned to the Dept. of Children and Families to help me save her life, something I had hoped not to have to resort to, They forced her to leave the home and enter a long term recovery program in Harlem. This was a program designed for women with children, so after much discussion I allowed her to bring my youngest son there to live with her. I stayed behind in the building from hell with my 2 older children. She DID desire to become clean, be a mother and wife again, live and have a normal life, so she put her all into the recovery. 


The place was filled with women mandated there from prison who constantly tried to start physical altercations, so the going was tough. Drugs and cigarettes were sneaked in and used there, it was not a good environment for Shirley or my son. Nonetheless, Shirley stayed with it and gained completions in all the classes she was instructed to attend. While they were away, myself and our other 2 kids obtained permission to move from the building we were living in. DSS initially resisted but when I explained to them that Shirley could not return to that environment and be successful at sobriety they relented, knowing that not to do so would only incur further DSS support. I sought a 1 bedroom apartment rather than 2 in order to find a nicer place for the same money in a decent neighborhood. We moved to a nice, quiet town far from Yonkers, a great place for my kids to live and a safe place for Shirley and Aiden upon their return.


Shirley and Aiden were away from us in the program for 5 long months. Shirley got healthy again, and her attitude was extremely positive. One day while Shirley was speaking with a counselor, an unidentified man attempted to abduct Aiden into a 3rd floor stairwell. Aiden screamed and resisted and the man fled. Turns out the security cameras were not operating. The next day, a man who was not part of the program was found living secretly within the building. When he was apprehended it was discovered that he was wanted for rape and attempted murder. It is assumed he is the same man who tried to attack my son. Shirley then expressed a desire to leave the program, fearing for her and Aiden's safety.


Shirley was then warned that staff was considering filing child neglect charges against Shirley for not knowing Aiden was near the stairwell while she was with the counselor 10 feet away. Upon discussion with other residents, Shirley learned that this type of action was not uncommon when women "threatened" to leave the program. It is widely believed that the program staff would resort to these measures in order to insure long attendance of the residents in order to secure continued funding. Some have been there for over 2 years. I cannot prove this but I have complained to authorities and asked for an investigation.


Fearing the worst, Shirley left the program and came home with Aiden. She called DSS to notify them, explained the circumstances and asked permission to attend an out patient program. DSS refused, and placed an additional sanction upon us because Shirley left the program without permission, regardless of the circumstances or the fact that Shirley remains clean and sober to this day, has every intention of staying that way, and is willing and able to prove it.


Our Children need their mother, and I need my wife, but DSS doesn't care. They don't care that Shirley is clean and in full compliance. We are so happy to have her back, clean and healthy but they don't care. The program was meant as a means to an end, not the end itself, and if sobriety is the goal then the goal has been reached. Nonetheless, DSS continues to punish our family, our CHILDREN by refusing to provide us with assistance. We have no money. We beg for diapers for Aiden from local pantries and survive on canned goods given to us by them. We have no car, no money for public transit, no business attire to pursue work. We wash our laundry in the tub with bar soap and hang it around the apartment to dry. We roast on the hot days with no AC. Our kids wear old, stained clothing that is too small for their growing bodies and they have holes in their sneakers. They beg for toys we can't provide. To eat a pizza for dinner would be like winning the lottery. The kids are losing weight because they don't like the food that's given to us. I can't give my daughter money for programs at the school that require money to participate in. We need help. We are stressed and at the edge. We are waiting for a DSS fair hearing which I am told could be months away. In the meantime my children continue to suffer without their basic needs. I've written to the county commissioner but have received no response. At this time, DSS is the only thing standing in our way to obtaining self-sufficiency and creating a prosperous, fruitful life. We want to get married, go back to school, obtain careers. Send the kids to summer camp and dancing classes. Have the well deserved vacation we've never had. Provide the kids with decent clothes so they can feel proud and not ashamed of themselves, and us. Afford a sitter for a night out, it would be the 1st in over 6 years. Make our kids happy and healthy, above all else.


Would you find it in your heart to help us? Anything, no matter how small would help us tremendously. Thank you so much for listening to my story...I am truly grateful.My name is Michael. I was browsing the internet while searching for ways to help my family when I came across this website. I'm not sure how to go about this, so I'll just go ahead and be as straightforward as I can be. Yes, we are in need. I'm certain that there are others in a worse situation than we are...none of us have a serious illness, and we are not homeless, thank God. Yet we suffer on a daily basis. To what degree, I'll leave that for you to judge. Here's my story...


My wife and I have been together for 15 years, and have 3 beautiful children...a 6 year old girl and 2 boys ages 4 and 2. We are not "officially" married, plainly and simply because we have never been able to afford a wedding, but I refer to Shirley as my "wife" because that's what she is to me, official or not. We have struggled with financial hardship for our entire 15 year history together. I will be the 1st to say that the root of our struggles is likely my failure to do what I should have done so many years ago...go to college, create a profitable career and a successful life. I was young and stupid, and like many I failed to see the importance of such things while I had the chance. I'm 47 now, my wife is 39. 


5 years ago we were living in Clearwater, Florida. We had moved there from NY when my wife became pregnant with our 1st child, in hopes of providing a better life for our future family, as the cost of living is cheaper there than in NY. We both obtained jobs at a warehouse there, nothing glamorous, $10 each per hour, but with that we managed to rent an apartment and eventually buy a used car. Sure, we struggled with the bills and other expenses but all in all we were ok. The years passed, and we remained with that company for 5 years.


In our 5th year as Floridians we had a falling out, and my wife decided she wanted to leave the relationship and return to NY, as her entire family lives there. I advised her against doing this, but she would not relent. I knew she was serious when she took our 2 kids (at that time) and left for NY in a rental car (she is afraid to fly), knowing ours couldn't survive the trip. As a man who loved his children, I would not be estranged from them, so I quit my job of 5 years, sold the car and whatever else I could of what I owned and flew to NY.


I arrived in Yonkers, NY, and booked a room in the cheapest hotel I could find. When I could no longer afford to do that, Shirley finally relented and allowed me to stay with her and the kids at her elderly and poor mother's apartment. I set out to find work, but at the time the US was going through a recession and jobs were scarce, especially with no car. We got on public assistance with the Department of Social Services. They provided us with food stamps and a small amount of cash to live on. During our time at her mother's Shirley and I reconciled. From there, we went to Shirley's sister's apartment, in a run down building on a drug infested block. There, the 4 of us shared a small bedroom while Shirley's sister shared a room with her son.


Soon, the population of the little 2 bedroom apartment increased. Also suffering hard times, Shirley's other sister and her boyfriend, the sister's friend and daughter, and the son's friend moved in. That made 11 of us in a two bedroom apartment, all poor. We were there for a year. Everyone fed the entire bunch with their food stamps when they got them, which was always on different dates, but it was never enough, we were always hungry. Most important was to make sure the kids were fed, so often the adults would eat very little. It was then we had our third child, and the 5 of us lived in that one room. 


We decided that we could no longer survive this way, and went to DSS and asked them to place us in a family shelter. They did, and we were there for 4 months, again in 1 small room, but our meals were provided for and the place was air conditioned. Finally DSS agreed to pay for us to move into an apartment, but at a very low rental rate. The best 2 bedroom I could find that would be approved was an apartment in the worst part of Yonkers. We moved in, and soon found that the building was infested with mice, roaches, waterbugs and drug dealers. DSS would not approve for us to move from there once the deal was done, so there we remained. The summers and winters were hard. We had no air conditioning and could not afford to buy one, so on the hottest days we had the kids spend most of the night in the cool bath, and if we were lucky someone would break open the hydrant on the corner for the local kids to cool off by.


We struggled. We were broke, and often hungry. My wife resorted to going out on the streets to try begging money from people to feed the kids. One day while doing this, she gave in to the depression, stress and pressure and responded to the drug dealers who called out to her every night. She began using crack-cocaine. It was the beginning of the end. She spent most of her hours out getting high, leaving me alone to manage our 3 kids. She would bring home an occasional quart of milk or a couple of McDonald's dollar burgers if we were lucky. She sold most of what we owned to support her habit. She became, sick, emaciated, paranoid and delusional. I knew that if she kept this up she would die. This continued for almost a year. Desiring to clean up, she entered a local out-patient program, who in turn notified DSS of her presence there. With the ever-present drug laden environment and dealers calling out to her every day, she failed to stay clean. DSS placed a "sanction" on our case as punishment, reducing our benefits to almost nothing, and they stopped paying our rent. We were facing eviction. I couldn't keep up with diapers, wipes, basic needs.


Finally I turned to the Dept. of Children and Families to help me save her life, something I had hoped not to have to resort to, They forced her to leave the home and enter a long term recovery program in Harlem. This was a program designed for women with children, so after much discussion I allowed her to bring my youngest son there to live with her. I stayed behind in the building from hell with my 2 older children. She DID desire to become clean, be a mother and wife again, live and have a normal life, so she put her all into the recovery. 


The place was filled with women mandated there from prison who constantly tried to start physical altercations, so the going was tough. Drugs and cigarettes were sneaked in and used there, it was not a good environment for Shirley or my son. Nonetheless, Shirley stayed with it and gained completions in all the classes she was instructed to attend. While they were away, myself and our other 2 kids obtained permission to move from the building we were living in. DSS initially resisted but when I explained to them that Shirley could not return to that environment and be successful at sobriety they relented, knowing that not to do so would only incur further DSS support. I sought a 1 bedroom apartment rather than 2 in order to find a nicer place for the same money in a decent neighborhood. We moved to a nice, quiet town far from Yonkers, a great place for my kids to live and a safe place for Shirley and Aiden upon their return.


Shirley and Aiden were away from us in the program for 5 long months. Shirley got healthy again, and her attitude was extremely positive. One day while Shirley was speaking with a counselor, an unidentified man attempted to abduct Aiden into a 3rd floor stairwell. Aiden screamed and resisted and the man fled. Turns out the security cameras were not operating. The next day, a man who was not part of the program was found living secretly within the building. When he was apprehended it was discovered that he was wanted for rape and attempted murder. It is assumed he is the same man who tried to attack my son. Shirley then expressed a desire to leave the program, fearing for her and Aiden's safety.


Shirley was then warned that staff was considering filing child neglect charges against Shirley for not knowing Aiden was near the stairwell while she was with the counselor 10 feet away. Upon discussion with other residents, Shirley learned that this type of action was not uncommon when women "threatened" to leave the program. It is widely believed that the program staff would resort to these measures in order to insure long attendance of the residents in order to secure continued funding. Some have been there for over 2 years. I cannot prove this but I have complained to authorities and asked for an investigation.


Fearing the worst, Shirley left the program and came home with Aiden. She called DSS to notify them, explained the circumstances and asked permission to attend an out patient program. DSS refused, and placed an additional sanction upon us because Shirley left the program without permission, regardless of the circumstances or the fact that Shirley remains clean and sober to this day, has every intention of staying that way, and is willing and able to prove it.


Our Children need their mother, and I need my wife, but DSS doesn't care. They don't care that Shirley is clean and in full compliance. We are so happy to have her back, clean and healthy but they don't care. The program was meant as a means to an end, not the end itself, and if sobriety is the goal then the goal has been reached. Nonetheless, DSS continues to punish our family, our CHILDREN by refusing to provide us with assistance. We have no money. We beg for diapers for Aiden from local pantries and survive on canned goods given to us by them. We have no car, no money for public transit, no business attire to pursue work. We wash our laundry in the tub with bar soap and hang it around the apartment to dry. We roast on the hot days with no AC. Our kids wear old, stained clothing that is too small for their growing bodies and they have holes in their sneakers. They beg for toys we can't provide. To eat a pizza for dinner would be like winning the lottery. The kids are losing weight because they don't like the food that's given to us. I can't give my daughter money for programs at the school that require money to participate in. We need help. We are stressed and at the edge. We are waiting for a DSS fair hearing which I am told could be months away. In the meantime my children continue to suffer without their basic needs. I've written to the county commissioner but have received no response. At this time, DSS is the only thing standing in our way to obtaining self-sufficiency and creating a prosperous, fruitful life. We want to get married, go back to school, obtain careers. Send the kids to summer camp and dancing classes. Have the well deserved vacation we've never had. Provide the kids with decent clothes so they can feel proud and not ashamed of themselves, and us. Afford a sitter for a night out, it would be the 1st in over 6 years. Make our kids happy and healthy, above all else.


Would you find it in your heart to help us? Anything, no matter how small would help us tremendously. Thank you so much for listening to my story...I am truly grateful.My name is Michael. I was browsing the internet while searching for ways to help my family when I came across this website. I'm not sure how to go about this, so I'll just go ahead and be as straightforward as I can be. Yes, we are in need. I'm certain that there are others in a worse situation than we are...none of us have a serious illness, and we are not homeless, thank God. Yet we suffer on a daily basis. To what degree, I'll leave that for you to judge. Here's my story...


My wife and I have been together for 15 years, and have 3 beautiful children...a 6 year old girl and 2 boys ages 4 and 2. We are not "officially" married, plainly and simply because we have never been able to afford a wedding, but I refer to Shirley as my "wife" because that's what she is to me, official or not. We have struggled with financial hardship for our entire 15 year history together. I will be the 1st to say that the root of our struggles is likely my failure to do what I should have done so many years ago...go to college, create a profitable career and a successful life. I was young and stupid, and like many I failed to see the importance of such things while I had the chance. I'm 47 now, my wife is 39. 


5 years ago we were living in Clearwater, Florida. We had moved there from NY when my wife became pregnant with our 1st child, in hopes of providing a better life for our future family, as the cost of living is cheaper there than in NY. We both obtained jobs at a warehouse there, nothing glamorous, $10 each per hour, but with that we managed to rent an apartment and eventually buy a used car. Sure, we struggled with the bills and other expenses but all in all we were ok. The years passed, and we remained with that company for 5 years.


In our 5th year as Floridians we had a falling out, and my wife decided she wanted to leave the relationship and return to NY, as her entire family lives there. I advised her against doing this, but she would not relent. I knew she was serious when she took our 2 kids (at that time) and left for NY in a rental car (she is afraid to fly), knowing ours couldn't survive the trip. As a man who loved his children, I would not be estranged from them, so I quit my job of 5 years, sold the car and whatever else I could of what I owned and flew to NY.


I arrived in Yonkers, NY, and booked a room in the cheapest hotel I could find. When I could no longer afford to do that, Shirley finally relented and allowed me to stay with her and the kids at her elderly and poor mother's apartment. I set out to find work, but at the time the US was going through a recession and jobs were scarce, especially with no car. We got on public assistance with the Department of Social Services. They provided us with food stamps and a small amount of cash to live on. During our time at her mother's Shirley and I reconciled. From there, we went to Shirley's sister's apartment, in a run down building on a drug infested block. There, the 4 of us shared a small bedroom while Shirley's sister shared a room with her son.


Soon, the population of the little 2 bedroom apartment increased. Also suffering hard times, Shirley's other sister and her boyfriend, the sister's friend and daughter, and the son's friend moved in. That made 11 of us in a two bedroom apartment, all poor. We were there for a year. Everyone fed the entire bunch with their food stamps when they got them, which was always on different dates, but it was never enough, we were always hungry. Most important was to make sure the kids were fed, so often the adults would eat very little. It was then we had our third child, and the 5 of us lived in that one room. 


We decided that we could no longer survive this way, and went to DSS and asked them to place us in a family shelter. They did, and we were there for 4 months, again in 1 small room, but our meals were provided for and the place was air conditioned. Finally DSS agreed to pay for us to move into an apartment, but at a very low rental rate. The best 2 bedroom I could find that would be approved was an apartment in the worst part of Yonkers. We moved in, and soon found that the building was infested with mice, roaches, waterbugs and drug dealers. DSS would not approve for us to move from there once the deal was done, so there we remained. The summers and winters were hard. We had no air conditioning and could not afford to buy one, so on the hottest days we had the kids spend most of the night in the cool bath, and if we were lucky someone would break open the hydrant on the corner for the local kids to cool off by.


We struggled. We were broke, and often hungry. My wife resorted to going out on the streets to try begging money from people to feed the kids. One day while doing this, she gave in to the depression, stress and pressure and responded to the drug dealers who called out to her every night. She began using crack-cocaine. It was the beginning of the end. She spent most of her hours out getting high, leaving me alone to manage our 3 kids. She would bring home an occasional quart of milk or a couple of McDonald's dollar burgers if we were lucky. She sold most of what we owned to support her habit. She became, sick, emaciated, paranoid and delusional. I knew that if she kept this up she would die. This continued for almost a year. Desiring to clean up, she entered a local out-patient program, who in turn notified DSS of her presence there. With the ever-present drug laden environment and dealers calling out to her every day, she failed to stay clean. DSS placed a "sanction" on our case as punishment, reducing our benefits to almost nothing, and they stopped paying our rent. We were facing eviction. I couldn't keep up with diapers, wipes, basic needs.


Finally I turned to the Dept. of Children and Families to help me save her life, something I had hoped not to have to resort to, They forced her to leave the home and enter a long term recovery program in Harlem. This was a program designed for women with children, so after much discussion I allowed her to bring my youngest son there to live with her. I stayed behind in the building from hell with my 2 older children. She DID desire to become clean, be a mother and wife again, live and have a normal life, so she put her all into the recovery. 


The place was filled with women mandated there from prison who constantly tried to start physical altercations, so the going was tough. Drugs and cigarettes were sneaked in and used there, it was not a good environment for Shirley or my son. Nonetheless, Shirley stayed with it and gained completions in all the classes she was instructed to attend. While they were away, myself and our other 2 kids obtained permission to move from the building we were living in. DSS initially resisted but when I explained to them that Shirley could not return to that environment and be successful at sobriety they relented, knowing that not to do so would only incur further DSS support. I sought a 1 bedroom apartment rather than 2 in order to find a nicer place for the same money in a decent neighborhood. We moved to a nice, quiet town far from Yonkers, a great place for my kids to live and a safe place for Shirley and Aiden upon their return.


Shirley and Aiden were away from us in the program for 5 long months. Shirley got healthy again, and her attitude was extremely positive. One day while Shirley was speaking with a counselor, an unidentified man attempted to abduct Aiden into a 3rd floor stairwell. Aiden screamed and resisted and the man fled. Turns out the security cameras were not operating. The next day, a man who was not part of the program was found living secretly within the building. When he was apprehended it was discovered that he was wanted for rape and attempted murder. It is assumed he is the same man who tried to attack my son. Shirley then expressed a desire to leave the program, fearing for her and Aiden's safety.


Shirley was then warned that staff was considering filing child neglect charges against Shirley for not knowing Aiden was near the stairwell while she was with the counselor 10 feet away. Upon discussion with other residents, Shirley learned that this type of action was not uncommon when women "threatened" to leave the program. It is widely believed that the program staff would resort to these measures in order to insure long attendance of the residents in order to secure continued funding. Some have been there for over 2 years. I cannot prove this but I have complained to authorities and asked for an investigation.


Fearing the worst, Shirley left the program and came home with Aiden. She called DSS to notify them, explained the circumstances and asked permission to attend an out patient program. DSS refused, and placed an additional sanction upon us because Shirley left the program without permission, regardless of the circumstances or the fact that Shirley remains clean and sober to this day, has every intention of staying that way, and is willing and able to prove it.


Our Children need their mother, and I need my wife, but DSS doesn't care. They don't care that Shirley is clean and in full compliance. We are so happy to have her back, clean and healthy but they don't care. The program was meant as a means to an end, not the end itself, and if sobriety is the goal then the goal has been reached. Nonetheless, DSS continues to punish our family, our CHILDREN by refusing to provide us with assistance. We have no money. We beg for diapers for Aiden from local pantries and survive on canned goods given to us by them. We have no car, no money for public transit, no business attire to pursue work. We wash our laundry in the tub with bar soap and hang it around the apartment to dry. We roast on the hot days with no AC. Our kids wear old, stained clothing that is too small for their growing bodies and they have holes in their sneakers. They beg for toys we can't provide. To eat a pizza for dinner would be like winning the lottery. The kids are losing weight because they don't like the food that's given to us. I can't give my daughter money for programs at the school that require money to participate in. We need help. We are stressed and at the edge. We are waiting for a DSS fair hearing which I am told could be months away. In the meantime my children continue to suffer without their basic needs. I've written to the county commissioner but have received no response. At this time, DSS is the only thing standing in our way to obtaining self-sufficiency and creating a prosperous, fruitful life. We want to get married, go back to school, obtain careers. Send the kids to summer camp and dancing classes. Have the well deserved vacation we've never had. Provide the kids with decent clothes so they can feel proud and not ashamed of themselves, and us. Afford a sitter for a night out, it would be the 1st in over 6 years. Make our kids happy and healthy, above all else.


Would you find it in your heart to help us? Anything, no matter how small would help us tremendously. Thank you so much for listening to my story...I am truly grateful.My name is Michael. I was browsing the internet while searching for ways to help my family when I came across this website. I'm not sure how to go about this, so I'll just go ahead and be as straightforward as I can be. Yes, we are in need. I'm certain that there are others in a worse situation than we are...none of us have a serious illness, and we are not homeless, thank God. Yet we suffer on a daily basis. To what degree, I'll leave that for you to judge. Here's my story...


My wife and I have been together for 15 years, and have 3 beautiful children...a 6 year old girl and 2 boys ages 4 and 2. We are not "officially" married, plainly and simply because we have never been able to afford a wedding, but I refer to Shirley as my "wife" because that's what she is to me, official or not. We have struggled with financial hardship for our entire 15 year history together. I will be the 1st to say that the root of our struggles is likely my failure to do what I should have done so many years ago...go to college, create a profitable career and a successful life. I was young and stupid, and like many I failed to see the importance of such things while I had the chance. I'm 47 now, my wife is 39. 


5 years ago we were living in Clearwater, Florida. We had moved there from NY when my wife became pregnant with our 1st child, in hopes of providing a better life for our future family, as the cost of living is cheaper there than in NY. We both obtained jobs at a warehouse there, nothing glamorous, $10 each per hour, but with that we managed to rent an apartment and eventually buy a used car. Sure, we struggled with the bills and other expenses but all in all we were ok. The years passed, and we remained with that company for 5 years.


In our 5th year as Floridians we had a falling out, and my wife decided she wanted to leave the relationship and return to NY, as her entire family lives there. I advised her against doing this, but she would not relent. I knew she was serious when she took our 2 kids (at that time) and left for NY in a rental car (she is afraid to fly), knowing ours couldn't survive the trip. As a man who loved his children, I would not be estranged from them, so I quit my job of 5 years, sold the car and whatever else I could of what I owned and flew to NY.


I arrived in Yonkers, NY, and booked a room in the cheapest hotel I could find. When I could no longer afford to do that, Shirley finally relented and allowed me to stay with her and the kids at her elderly and poor mother's apartment. I set out to find work, but at the time the US was going through a recession and jobs were scarce, especially with no car. We got on public assistance with the Department of Social Services. They provided us with food stamps and a small amount of cash to live on. During our time at her mother's Shirley and I reconciled. From there, we went to Shirley's sister's apartment, in a run down building on a drug infested block. There, the 4 of us shared a small bedroom while Shirley's sister shared a room with her son.


Soon, the population of the little 2 bedroom apartment increased. Also suffering hard times, Shirley's other sister and her boyfriend, the sister's friend and daughter, and the son's friend moved in. That made 11 of us in a two bedroom apartment, all poor. We were there for a year. Everyone fed the entire bunch with their food stamps when they got them, which was always on different dates, but it was never enough, we were always hungry. Most important was to make sure the kids were fed, so often the adults would eat very little. It was then we had our third child, and the 5 of us lived in that one room. 


We decided that we could no longer survive this way, and went to DSS and asked them to place us in a family shelter. They did, and we were there for 4 months, again in 1 small room, but our meals were provided for and the place was air conditioned. Finally DSS agreed to pay for us to move into an apartment, but at a very low rental rate. The best 2 bedroom I could find that would be approved was an apartment in the worst part of Yonkers. We moved in, and soon found that the building was infested with mice, roaches, waterbugs and drug dealers. DSS would not approve for us to move from there once the deal was done, so there we remained. The summers and winters were hard. We had no air conditioning and could not afford to buy one, so on the hottest days we had the kids spend most of the night in the cool bath, and if we were lucky someone would break open the hydrant on the corner for the local kids to cool off by.


We struggled. We were broke, and often hungry. My wife resorted to going out on the streets to try begging money from people to feed the kids. One day while doing this, she gave in to the depression, stress and pressure and responded to the drug dealers who called out to her every night. She began using crack-cocaine. It was the beginning of the end. She spent most of her hours out getting high, leaving me alone to manage our 3 kids. She would bring home an occasional quart of milk or a couple of McDonald's dollar burgers if we were lucky. She sold most of what we owned to support her habit. She became, sick, emaciated, paranoid and delusional. I knew that if she kept this up she would die. This continued for almost a year. Desiring to clean up, she entered a local out-patient program, who in turn notified DSS of her presence there. With the ever-present drug laden environment and dealers calling out to her every day, she failed to stay clean. DSS placed a "sanction" on our case as punishment, reducing our benefits to almost nothing, and they stopped paying our rent. We were facing eviction. I couldn't keep up with diapers, wipes, basic needs.


Finally I turned to the Dept. of Children and Families to help me save her life, something I had hoped not to have to resort to, They forced her to leave the home and enter a long term recovery program in Harlem. This was a program designed for women with children, so after much discussion I allowed her to bring my youngest son there to live with her. I stayed behind in the building from hell with my 2 older children. She DID desire to become clean, be a mother and wife again, live and have a normal life, so she put her all into the recovery. 


The place was filled with women mandated there from prison who constantly tried to start physical altercations, so the going was tough. Drugs and cigarettes were sneaked in and used there, it was not a good environment for Shirley or my son. Nonetheless, Shirley stayed with it and gained completions in all the classes she was instructed to attend. While they were away, myself and our other 2 kids obtained permission to move from the building we were living in. DSS initially resisted but when I explained to them that Shirley could not return to that environment and be successful at sobriety they relented, knowing that not to do so would only incur further DSS support. I sought a 1 bedroom apartment rather than 2 in order to find a nicer place for the same money in a decent neighborhood. We moved to a nice, quiet town far from Yonkers, a great place for my kids to live and a safe place for Shirley and Aiden upon their return.


Shirley and Aiden were away from us in the program for 5 long months. Shirley got healthy again, and her attitude was extremely positive. One day while Shirley was speaking with a counselor, an unidentified man attempted to abduct Aiden into a 3rd floor stairwell. Aiden screamed and resisted and the man fled. Turns out the security cameras were not operating. The next day, a man who was not part of the program was found living secretly within the building. When he was apprehended it was discovered that he was wanted for rape and attempted murder. It is assumed he is the same man who tried to attack my son. Shirley then expressed a desire to leave the program, fearing for her and Aiden's safety.


Shirley was then warned that staff was considering filing child neglect charges against Shirley for not knowing Aiden was near the stairwell while she was with the counselor 10 feet away. Upon discussion with other residents, Shirley learned that this type of action was not uncommon when women "threatened" to leave the program. It is widely believed that the program staff would resort to these measures in order to insure long attendance of the residents in order to secure continued funding. Some have been there for over 2 years. I cannot prove this but I have complained to authorities and asked for an investigation.


Fearing the worst, Shirley left the program and came home with Aiden. She called DSS to notify them, explained the circumstances and asked permission to attend an out patient program. DSS refused, and placed an additional sanction upon us because Shirley left the program without permission, regardless of the circumstances or the fact that Shirley remains clean and sober to this day, has every intention of staying that way, and is willing and able to prove it.


Our Children need their mother, and I need my wife, but DSS doesn't care. They don't care that Shirley is clean and in full compliance. We are so happy to have her back, clean and healthy but they don't care. The program was meant as a means to an end, not the end itself, and if sobriety is the goal then the goal has been reached. Nonetheless, DSS continues to punish our family, our CHILDREN by refusing to provide us with assistance. We have no money. We beg for diapers for Aiden from local pantries and survive on canned goods given to us by them. We have no car, no money for public transit, no business attire to pursue work. We wash our laundry in the tub with bar soap and hang it around the apartment to dry. We roast on the hot days with no AC. Our kids wear old, stained clothing that is too small for their growing bodies and they have holes in their sneakers. They beg for toys we can't provide. To eat a pizza for dinner would be like winning the lottery. The kids are losing weight because they don't like the food that's given to us. I can't give my daughter money for programs at the school that require money to participate in. We need help. We are stressed and at the edge. We are waiting for a DSS fair hearing which I am told could be months away. In the meantime my children continue to suffer without their basic needs. I've written to the county commissioner but have received no response. At this time, DSS is the only thing standing in our way to obtaining self-sufficiency and creating a prosperous, fruitful life. We want to get married, go back to school, obtain careers. Send the kids to summer camp and dancing classes. Have the well deserved vacation we've never had. Provide the kids with decent clothes so they can feel proud and not ashamed of themselves, and us. Afford a sitter for a night out, it would be the 1st in over 6 years. Make our kids happy and healthy, above all else.


Would you find it in your heart to help us? Anything, no matter how small would help us tremendously. Thank you so much for listening to my story...I am truly grateful.