This may be long and more or less a vent, but I just need to get it off my chest because I can't take lying awake in bed any longer and I’m praying that someone in the world will be able to help me!!!
As a back story, we have been engaged for a long while now and aren't any closer to getting married now than we were when we first got engaged because we simply cannot afford our wedding. We aren't one of the lucky couples, who have the luxury of our parents paying for it, either in whole or in part, and we also don't have that kind of cash saved up... and it's going to take a long time for us to do that. So, we do not have any wedding date established, and we just don't realistically see our wedding happening any time in the plan able future.
My issue is that any time the topic of our wedding comes up I get really sad. Sad enough to where it ruins the rest of my day and it takes a lot to get out of the funk and go back to my normally happy mentality. As you all can probably relate, when you're engaged all people that know will reflexively ask you "How's wedding planning going?!" every time they see you. Any time we go to a social gathering, any time I chat with work-related associates, any time I run into an acquaintance... I am asked.
And I totally understand that all these people are coming from a good place, and that "How's the wedding planning?" is, under all other circumstances, a happy question. It's not these people's faults at all... But I hate being asked how my wedding planning is going because it's NOT going, and it's not going to get going for a long time, which is already depressing and then every time I'm asked, I have to come up with a short and polite-but-awkward answer to skirt the issue and change the subject. It's depressing having to do this and choke back my tears.
The particularly difficult times are when other brides (real brides who are actually getting married within months) ask me how mine is going, because even though I really am happy for them and looking forward to their weddings, I am also jealous inside that they are able to have their wedding on the timeline they wanted. Of course, I can't be a Debbie downer with my situation and rain on their parade so I play it off like everything is fine and dandy over here too, but I die a little inside.
There are a few people that aren't satisfied with a generic "everything's great" answer and want specifics like a date and other details, so I'll answer a little more honestly with a "Well, we're still saving so it'll be a while yet." But that ends up being even worse because I'll get more well-meaning suggestions like "Just run off and elope!" and "Just do a backyard BBQ, and none of that seems very special for a day such as this.
We don't want this platinum Barbie dream wedding either - the wedding we are hoping for actually involves a budget and several cost-saving measures. But the thing that it doesn't do is de-prioritize our priorities that we want on the most important and special day of our lives. For starters we want an intimate wedding with just our mothers, fathers, sisters, and brothers. We want to have our ceremony in a small wedding chapel in Niagara Falls Canada that overlooks the falls and stay in a honeymoon suite for a night or two. If anyone can help make our dream wedding become a reality I would so extremely grateful.