Please Help Me Treat My Mental Illness

I know this is going to sound rather pathetic, but I seriously need help treating my mental illness. Literally anything helps. I have severe depression, anxiety, and possibly bipolar disorder. It's gotten to the point where I was fired from my last job and have no where to go, staying with my toxic family. They put me down for my mental illness, claiming I'm lazy and that I'm just not putting any effort into life, but that couldn't be further from the truth. I can't even leave my house without feeling nauseas from worry. My self esteem is down the drain, and I feel worthless most of the time. In case you are wondering, yes, I have considered suicide... but I don't want to die. I want to live, get the job of my dreams, be able to eat without feeling guilty for taking from my family. I can't even answer my phone for interviews because just talking on a cellphone gives me severe panic attacks. I've applied for medicaid, but my state hasn't expanded their services, and I can't afford a marketplace plan. I can't even fathom the process for applying for disability benifits as I have no medical records to prove a disability because I haven't been able to afford treatment since I turned 19 and was kicked out of the program. I just... don't know what to do. I'm stuck in a spiral of needing a job, but not being able to do the jobs available to me like fast food work. I've tried elsewhere but I don't have transportation or any college experience and I just don't know what could help except to get treatment for my anxiety to help me be able to keep a customer service job again.

Seriously. Anything helps. Even a kind message or advice, or one or two dollars to help me save up for the treatment I need. I just want to be able to live without feeling like a failure.

Feel free to contact me if you can help me in any way... my email is [email protected]