I'm 19 years old. I don't have a job, and I still live with my family. Until September 2020, I lived with just my grandmother.
A year ago, I developed severe depression and anxiety with suicidal ideation. I somehow dealt with it because I had relative peace and quiet, but when I moved, it worsened significantly.
I've been in therapy since July 2020, and my psychologist is the kindest soul ever because she sees me for free. However, since my worsening suicidal thoughts, she recommended seeing a psychiatrist for medication to help with my depression, as well as sleep issues. I can't afford this though.
It really feels like my family is going to be the cause of my death at this point. They constantly blame me for my brother's sickness (caused by his smoking), everything I do is wrong, they don't consider my feelings at all, only my brother's. My parents gave me to my grandmother when I was born because they didn't want me (my mother told me that she wanted to about me), and the only reason I'm with them now is because my grandmother couldn't pay rent anymore. My brother has always been the child my parents wanted, not me.
Everytime anyone does or says something hurtful to me, I just wish I could be dead so I don't have to suffer through this anymore. I've even gone so far as to acquiring drugs to overdose on. If I don't get out of my family's house, I'm going to end up killing myself for sure.
I need help to get out of there though. I know many people will say that I should get a job or go to university. I had a job, but I lost it almost a year ago now thanks to covid and finding a new one has been extremely difficult. University won't be an escape because the university is near enough that I'd still stay with my parents. I need to move out.
I'll find some way of making this happen, but I'm really just asking you to help me with a little bit at first. I'll be eternally grateful.
I found a 1 bedroom room that's about US$350 in rent plus a bit more for electricity and water. https://www.property24.com/to-rent/hatfield/pretor...
Please help me to pay at least a month's rent and a bit of food here, I'll try to find a way to survive in that time and hopefully be able to pay for the next month.
Your kindness is greatly appreciated.