I am Irvin James Inventor, 36 years old. I live in Pagadian City, Zamboanga del Sur, Mindanao southern Philippines.
I don't know if this would work asking for help here but I just need to buy my medicines for my depression as I am now flat broke. I just don't have anywhere or anyone to turn to.
I was diagnosed with bi-polar depression in 2015. I managed to get through it with medication and consultations with my psychiatrist. I've had several bouts where I was just down, longest was 3 months but nothing compared to what I'm in now. I haven't stepped out of the house since July 7th.
I'm just here in my room for 5 months now. I haven't brushed my teeth for almost 2 months straight. The longest I haven't taken a bath was 12 days. I pee in cups of instant noodles which I have several of. I poop on papers I put on the floor beside my bed, then wrap it up in brown paper bag. I know this is horrendously disgusting for a normal person and hard to understand but this is what I'm in now. I get by to eating just once a day, I get food that is left on the table for me every night when everyone is asleep. I live with my mother and sister which I am not in good terms with. Sometimes I miss out on getting food when I fall asleep. And have to endure more than 24 hours to get my next meal.
I am a family man with a wife and 2 kids. She works abroad in Saudi Arabia as a nurse and my kids live in another city from where I am.
My wife and I haven't spoken to each other since July this year.
I used to work abroad as well, 5 years in the UAE and 1 year in Saudi. I left my last job in Saudi in August 2018 after just a year as I was already experiencing some depression again. So I am unemployed now for more than a year.
My wife can't help me as I've let her down since I resigned from work since she is currently paying 2 loans she got for the construction of what is supposed to be our house which is still pending. And she is the only one providing for the kids. And we are not in good terms with each other now anyways.
There are times when I really just want to get out of this rut I'm in but my depression just pulls me back in deeper. The thoughts of hanging myself never really go away, it's often worse whenever I wake up from sleep. I have my wires and rope ready but the problem is there is nowhere to tie the rope on the ceiling or anywhere up. I think the doorknob will do since I've seen people hang themselves just slumped on the doorknob.
But sometimes I do get some clarity of mind to somehow ask for help just what I am doing now. I never asked for help yet since July but it's worth a try. I am also writing this not just to buy my medicines but also to get my tooth extracted. Since I am in so much pain from my toothache for 3 days now. My last molar in my upper left has rotten from the inside. I tried yanking it out with a pair of pliers because it is so painful only to cause a fragment of the tooth to break off revealing a blackened core. Now my molar has a big gaping hole, even drinking water causes so much pain. I can't sleep with the nonstop excruciating pain.
I just don't have any money to get this thing removed by the dentist. I guess this tooth pain will finally compel me to get out and buy my medication.
I just need some help please, if any, just to get me started in taking my medications again.
My heartfelt gratitude to you out there reading this.
This was the usual amount I buy from the pharmacy.
This was my last prescrition from my psychiatrist. I'm glad I still kept it.
I also have a Metrobank account if it's more convenient for you.
My Metrobank Account
Routing #: 010269996
Swift Code: MBTCPHMM