Please help me smile again

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Please help me to smile again...to really live!

Hi, my name is Jenn. I hope this finds you in good spirits!

I'm not sure where to start here so I'm just going to lay it all out in the open and ask for a little of your time if that's ok?

So....I've been without teeth since early September 2013. Basically what happened was all my teeth crumbled and due to the severe health issues they were causing me, I had to have all of them removed. I was told all the medications I've been on since 1999 because I'd been run down by a drunk driver and almost murdered and suffering chronic pain and anxiety since, had most likely caused dry mouth syndrome. They also reduced the fluoride in the water here which I'm sure worsened matters. Since I was a little girl up through adulthood I've had a few pretty bad experiences with dentists and now have terrible anxiety and panic attacks when I have to see them. I know dentists aren't ALL bad. My last one was actually quite wonderful. Ive just been quite unfortunate in the past. I've had to medicate with xanex or Ativan just to go in for an appointment!

Not having teeth is not just inconvenient, it's uncomfortable and it make you feel naked and vulnerable. To speak and have no one really understand everything You say, to have them fixate on your mouth while you're trying to pronounce and fumbling because you can't form v's, s's, f,s th' ectera, your mouth is dry, your tongue has grown and your jaws so sore your in agony...and this is everyday. you feel mortified, embarrassed and ugly.

I used to be considered pretty and now my face is already changed. Im not a shallow person but I do not feel good about myself at all. I feel beaten down, broken, and I have no self esteem and it shows. I can't even sing anymore. I can only reliably and comfortably communicate through text/email or writing notes and that irritates everybody. No one seems to have the patience to deal with me. I do try to practise speaking only to be discouraged. I have very real fears that I'll be like this for the rest of my life. With no confidence, isolation, depression, how does one live? And another thing? I'm starving! I'm always so hungry. I can't remember the last time I enjoyed a meal or felt satisfied. I not only miss all my favorite foods, I miss the whole dining experience I'm always on the sidelines whether it be at a restaurant or even if I make the meal. I can't enjoy the food or the custom banter between loved ones and friends. And because I can't chew, I'd end up with indigestion and bathroom horror for my troubles. Sometimes I'll go days without eating if only to not have to think about the fact that I don't have teeth in my mouth and I can't eat what I want. I'm starved for not just food but connections with people. I'm very aware ALL THE TIME, not to smile or laugh or even bother trying to talk. To keep my hand in front of my mouth at all times because my face looks distorted and disproportionate. I wear hoodies with the hood up and try to blend into the background or just always stay home. I am so cut off from the rest of the world and its lonely here. I want to be able to connect with my kids again. I can't even read to them or laugh and sing with them like we used to. And I'm not the only one going through this. All 3 of my boys have had to go through it with me. They've had to talk for me, make appointments, etc. And they've missed out on so much because of me. They miss their mom and our life pre-smash mouth.

I long to have friends, and maybe meet someone someday. But a future with no teeth is a scary one and I'm so depressed I don't want to be near anyone. And who would want to be with me like this anyway?

I'm on disability because of my immobility and chronic pain, scraping by, living pay cheque under pay cheque and no family or friends or support to speak of. I don't even have a doctor anymore. I've lost everybody in my life with the exception of my boys. There's no one left. Disability will only pay for a tiny portion of what dentures cost, pennies really ($300.00 a year).band Denturists want $600+ right up front. We can barely scrape enough together for haircuts or even a treat let alone the luxury of teeth. Everyone I've spoken to agrees that implants would be the best route for me if I can find the funds some where, but I know they're way out of my league and I could be happy with dentures or at least appreciate them before they need replacing. Also because of my extreme anxiety and knowing I will panic, I would need to be sedated. :( So we're looking at thousands as I'm sure you know (I'll leave an example below) even if it is just dentures. I'm not usually one to ask for help. In fact I don't usually complain no matter the pain and everything else. I just can't suffer in silence anymore. I used to grind my teeth under stress and now after so long without them I've started grinding my gums and my jaw hurts. I can't close it and there's no place to rest it and I get headaches all the time now. I see people smile and laugh and I admit I feel like I'm dying inside from being so isolated and alone with this maybe even jealous. The depressio, hunger and pain I feel constantly and the huge wall of miscommunications has made me feel utterly hopeless. After living over 16 years with consuming pain, mobility issues, anxiety, and depression, to facing a life with no teeth is just too much! There is no joy. My kids are my only source of joy and they aren't happy because I'm not. I can't even fake it anymore because they see right through it. Right through me.

I know that there are other way more worthy people out there than me, with more important causes for why they need money, but this is pretty much affecting every aspect of our lives. I'm trying to raise money through this fundraising campaign so I can LIVE a full more positive life WITH my kids. One where they don't have to feel embarrassed whenever they're with their mom. This will be my only chance. I don't know what else I can do that I haven't tried already. There are no more avenues for me to seek out. I'm just feeling like there's no hope at all but still trying very hard to be optimistic. Not being able to communicate and feeling this low, isn't just lonely and scary it's dehumanizing. i haven't felt or been treated like I was human in a long time and I just want my life not to suck anymore. I need to smile again. To laugh, sing and share joy. For myself and my children to be happy.

Ten years ago I knew someone in a very similar situation. She was suicidal, extremely depressed and a recluse because of it. I told her then that it couldn't be that bad at least she was alive right? I was very wrong. I really didn't understand then. I do now. I do and I'm so sorry.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read all this whining! I hope you don't think to badly of me.

Please take care, God bless, and smile.

Sincerely,

~ Jennifer Reid ~

***This is just one of all the responses I've gotten through all the denturists I've spoken to about my situation (this seems the most reasonable and detailed):


{{ Hi Jennifer, thank you for your email! During your visit, we are able to take x-rays and a CT scan (3D x-ray) that will allow the doctor to be able to make a diagnosis in regards to how many implants are needed and what kind of prosthetic we can build onto that implant foundation. Costs can range greatly depending on the health of your jaw bones and your financial situation. Just for ball park costs so you have an idea,

*Standard removable upper and lower dentures will cost around $4000.00 but you must keep in mind these will continually need to be replaced and will not stop facial structure damage.

*Implant therapy with a hybrid prosthetic build to attach to your implants can range from about $10,000 and arch up to $23,000.00 and arch.
*Many people decide to do implant therapy with a hybrid prosthetic and the lower jaw and a removal complete upper denture at around $25,000.00 and then if able in the future, do implant therapy on the upper arch (patients seem to be more apt at learning how to function with an upper denture due to the suction you can get from the upper palette, than they can on a lower denture that has no physical landmarks in the mouth to gain adhesion with).
I do hope that this answers some of your questions Jennifer, and at the same time, does not cause you more anxiety.

T. Anderson }}

*** Taken from one email, only name was changed.

Thank you



Organizer

I'm just a mom with dreams, trials and tribulations

I'm just a mom with dreams, trials and tribulations

Jul 08

Chance

Update posted by Jennifer Reid at 02:25 am

So I was thinking last night about what I can do about this campaign and I've decided I'm going to TRY to do a video to somehow show what I used to look like, and what I look like now. It's not something I'm looking forward to but I feel. . . . .

See update
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