2020 in a nutshell
2020 has been the worst year of my life! It hit me emotionally, physically and work-wise, I think if you hear about the suffering, you won’t think It’s real, I’m not looking for sympathy, I would just like to explain something... hear we go:
I’ve had two sets of pulmonary embolisms (3 x pulmonary embolisms in my life and I’m still alive?? I have the angels protecting me), which resulted in costochronditis. Then cushings i’ve never been in so much pain which has resulted in fibromyalgia, contributor to my sepsis and pneumonia, COVID which resulted in post covid syndrome and hepatitis.
Now let’s put that onto a pot and add my pre-existing conditions, CVID, gastroparesis, factor V Leiden. Now mix it together- you just ultimately feel the sickest in your life!
What has happened is the pot started boiling, that’s how I developed the weakness in my body and I have to walk with a cane. Now the pot is simmering- I use every kind of strength in my body and soul to get the pot to stop simmering, that’s why I have to rely on my deepest faith will heal me with what I have, I will not let this define me ♥️ I need to get the water to start getting to room temperature, and as smooth like a lake at 5am, looking so beautiful, calm and colourful and relaxing (this is what I’m fighting for).
I can do this, it takes time but time heals everything! Never ever give up, you can always try to dig deep and find that strength to fight.
I’m still fighting, it’s not exactly working but I feel in my spirit that things will pick up. I sometimes put make up on to feel ‘normal’ and cover the black sunken spots under my eyes and a pale face.
but now I have run out of financial needs,UIF won’t pay me, my TERS was declined, oh forgot to say my position at work was made redundant, but I wouldn’t be able to work anywhere and with the financial crisis it was going to happen. Momentum has declined all my appeals, and won’t listen to the truth. It’s been taken to the ombudsman but momentum doubts it will succeed. But the ombudsman takes 4 months and I can’t work to pay off my monthly bills for 4 months.
Te porcelain doll is broken and instead of healing, I’m so stressed. Please please help me. God bless xx