Our First Embrace.

Do you have someone who is there for you during your highest of highs? That person who you rush to first with your exciting news about meeting someone new, getting engaged or perhaps that the overwhelmingly exciting news that there is a baby on the way? Then there are of course those dreaded lows that might involve unexpected illness, deaths and the breakdown of treasured relationships. Have you ever had hard times when you have picked up the phone or made a call at 3am? You know those calls where there is so much sobbing and sniffles that see you in your slippers and jacket on your way to your besties house or you get that knock on the door not realizing that your best friend was speeding over to comfort you during your breakdown.

A Best Friend

Individuals who are there for each other thick and thin. Souls that find each other in the dark. Hearts that pour unconditional love and support. Your closest and most dearest friend is there by your side through joy and sorrow with hugs galor......

I have a best friend too...but we are yet to embrace.

I'm a 26 year old mother of 3 children. I was given up along side my older siblings by my alcoholic mother and my father was in prison and so I was raised as an only child by paternal grandmother in Sydney, Australia.

I have had quiet an eventful life up to this point that has seen me go through experiences such as homelessness at a young age which saw me fall victim of rape, mental, physical and emotional abuse. I had fallen pregnant as a result of rape but at 13 weeks my child was lost due to physical violence...I had just turned 16 and was still taking myself to school every day and some days I would sleep in the field behind my school, it really sucked during winter, I can tell you that much. I am proud to say that I was not one of the street kids who got into drugs, alchohol or even ciggarets. I had a clear idea of who and what I wanted to be, and of course everyone knows there are bumps in the road but I had gone completely offroad!!

My life took a positive turn when i met the father of my children 2 months before my 17th birthday. Our relationship produced 4 beautiful children in 2005, 2008, 2010 and 2011. Sadly our first baby boy in 2010 was stillborn   In 2011 our "Rainbow baby" was born A LITTLE BOY  What was to be a joyus time was mared by a pain that was so crippling there was no amount of pain medication that would ease the pain in my feet, I couldnt sleep, I couldnt eat, I couldnt function at all, All i could do was cry as it was agonizing. I had learned that I had a rare neurovascular disorder called Erythromelalgia. I fell back into a deep depression as I was not able to take proper care of my new born son and for a long while I had no idea at the time what was causing me so much pain or when it was going to end and it broke my heart hearing my little girls telling their Daddy, with their tiny hands covering their ears to "Please make Mummy stop crying"...writing about it brings back the memories and it moves me to tears  Not long after my diagnosis my relationship broke down and I was crushed...just completely heartbroken...There is just so much to tell but I can't fit it all here 

My best friend, he was just a click, a message or a call away, day or night with our drastic time differences....He was there but not like most best friends would be, there was no hanging out together,  hugs or even his physical prescence...I have never been able to reach out and touch him. There are limits to our processes. We go to each other for support, we laugh together, we cry together, we grieve together, we confide in and console each other but it must go through wires and comes in the form of email, Skype, Facebook, Xbox LIVE, MySpace and MSN those of you who are old school would know what the last two are. I don't really have any other friends due to the unstability i have faced in my life and I gave up things that late teens and early adults look forward to doing like studying, traveling, partying etc just so I could raise my little family as best as I could and then illness rears its ugly and very expensive head...I live a very humble life and all my funds go to taking care of my children and the medication I need to keep my chronic pain at bay and now I have taken another step forward and am on the road to becoming a better person, I am now studying Psychology at University (huge thanks to a government grant) in the hopes to help others through my experiences  

I know this has been a very long piece of writing here and I've tried cutting it down as best as I could. I want to thank you with all my heart for actually taking the time to read this and hear a little bit of my story. Seeing my best friend would mean more than the world to me....there are soooo many hugs to catch up on, so many things to do, it just brings me to tear thinking about the possability of actually being in each other prescence and experience our first embrace :') Even words of encouragement are still more than I could hope for so

 thank you , thank you, thank you!!! ♥