The purpose of this is to raise money that I will use to fund my escape from the United States of America. Time is of the essence, as I could be gunned down any day by some hopeless Bubba or deranged suburbanite. Even if I survive the pervasive gunplay, any wounds I sustain will likely destroy me due to a sadistic healthcare system that would bankrupt Croesus. I don't want to dodge bullets and bill collectors for the rest of my life, and I doubt you want that for me. You're good people. I can tell. You love your mothers and you always take out the garbage. Help a brother out. I'm too pretty to die.