OCD RECOVERY

Hi, my name is Tereza Dalia and I'm asking for help, so I can hopefully start living.

I'm 30 years old and I've been struggling with mental health issues most of my life.
I was diagnosed with c-ptsd after several traumatic events and that's when my OCD got so much worse.
I developed bulimia, drug addiction and chronic depersonalisation.
Ended up homeless and in abusive relationships.

I went through rehab centre and I'm very proud of saying that I've been clean from drugs and eating disorder for over five years.
That however hasn't changed the fact that I'm feeling suicidal 24/7, desperately wanting to end my own life, just to escape this hell.
I've tried several medications, every therapy that's available for free, went to a hospital, etc., but nothing has helped and my OCD keeps getting significantly worse every single day.I found a private specialist, but I unfortunately can't afford it.
I was put on disability, but that barely covers the rent and at least some food.
I haven't even finished high school due to my issues, had a spine injury and I'm really overwhelmed with all the rituals and worries and detachment, which leaves me with very limited options for getting a job.
So I'm asking for help here in hope of getting a chance to build a better life for myself.

Thank you for helping me out or even just taking your time to read my story.