My life with an eating disorder is similar to a puppet show. I am the smiling, dancing puppet and my disorder is the evil puppeteer. Every day it tells me how much to eat and writes the script of my life. Suddenly I didn't care about neither my health or dreams, all I wanted was to be thin. I never really understood why, when or how it happened. But there I was, laughing as my bony body bounced around on the puppet stage. Meanwhile most of the audience stared in horror at what I had become, while some clapped at my weight loss. Nobody sees that I cry backstage because I'm scared, hungry and tired.
My mental and physical health greatly deteriorated throughout nursing school, but somehow I managed to get through. Especially during my last semester things got really bad and I ended up getting hospitalized. Basically, I lost 20 kilograms (44 pounds) rapidly and couldn't stop exercising. Thanks to my family, friends, boyfriend and therapists I slowly began to gain some confidence and weight. After 5 months in hospital, I began outpatient treatment and truly feel that I'm a bit ”less sick”.
I'm not able to work at the moment as a nurse since my recovery requires a lot of intensive therapy. Although it's a daily struggle I feel better and can't thank my beloved ones enough. However, my student-loan debt causes stress on a monthly basis. Therefore I'm asking for fundings so I can pay off my debts and focus on what's really important in life; health, love and dreams.
you for reading about my story. I am greatly thankful for every