The lifetime cost of a married friend is growing. Engagements, hen and stag dos, pre wedding things, weddings - then the real cash starts getting spunked - the baby phase followed by divorce. Estimated cost: £2,800 - more if you're a BFF.
We are not getting married. We are not having babies. And, if for some inexplicable reason, either of those things happens, you are:
- not invited
- have no obligation to contribute to said infant's material goods because it will be a minimalist baby
We are however running away from home. In a van. If you take out the simple lunacy of that you're left with some boring real world stuff and something that looks like a honeymoon. In the words of Jerry Reed we're heading east bound and down - across the Alps, in the winter. James and I are road tripping and working - a radical sabbatical.
We've made spreadsheets and stuff and broken the last piece of the puzzle into 'Adventure Miles'. Simple calculation:
- Average mpg
- Average fuel cost across 5 countries (as of today)
- Mileage from James' master map
- Boiling pot
22p per Adventure Mile. And that's how you stop drinking frothy coffees - 10.5 adventure miles!!!!! (Top tip if you're saving - put it in these terms and you'll stop buying everything).
So if you fancy rewarding us for not making you come to a party where you have to sit next to my parents mad friend Fenton (who spits when he speaks and always wears magenta socks) or for not having to be nice to us about having a baby (even though you know full well neither of us should have a licence for that) and you can spare 22p, please donate a mile (or 4.5) to our #notgettingmarried fund.
Thank you for your attention. Please feel free to join us en route.
(You know we'd leave a baby on a bench or in a supermarket or on top of the car at Starbucks)