New life

Hello,I am from Croatia and I don't know where I got the strength to write this,but obviously I came to the wall and I don't know how to proceed ... to make it easier for you to explain and to make it easier for myself, I'll start from the beginning.

I was born in a happy family, raised properly and engaged in sports until I was 13 years old, in 2003, when my father died, my mother left the family home and I stayed with my grandfather who meant everything to me and who made a man of me, took me on the right path and I am lucky as few people to do a job that I love..The 2014. came, the man who raised me and pulled me out of the most difficult period so far leaves me, passed away in his sleep and I found him like that in bed..I'll probably never get that picture out of my head. For a long time I felt lost, lonely, a big void was in me mostly because of the longing for family that I had very little life time..I gathered strength and decided to come out of everything as a winner, I love life and I did not want to sink even though I felt as I am alone in the world. What I suffered the most, what I had too little I managed to create, my family! Probably we all have our scars and everyone has their own way but there was so much pride in me that I can’t describe it, I have a wife who is everything in my life, we got a son who is 6 months old now and I live for him! I thought all the bad was over, I thought I was on the roof of the world, but I was so wrong ..

Starting to create my family, I took out a big loan to fix the house my grandfather left me, breathe with all my lungs, leave everything bad behind and finally fill all the emptiness in my heart, but there is always someone who is bothered by your little corner of peace and happiness. which I arranged and which was my finally peaceful future, now I will be left without it..the evil aunt who has everything in life and who does not need it, but will take it to court due to paperwork and her personal pleasure to bring me back to the bottom where I came from. I must go with my family to a tenancy in another city with a loan on my back that I seem to have taken out for nothing. I still do the job I love, I work like a horse but there is no use and no happiness..I am afraid that the threads of life will escape my hands, I can't describe how grateful I am to my wife for still standing by me and seeing that she is falling apart stress because of me and because of her mother who is seriously ill and I can't take her to her because it's a long way ...

The hardest thing for me is to look at my son, to whom I promised that I would be with him all my life and that I would not allow him to ever feel helpless without a father like I was.

I came in front of that wall that due to the large installment of the loan, not only did I lose the opportunity to start from scratch for the third time, but I can't get through for a month, and I'm nowhere ... I don't understand how someone who loves life and do honest job still combination of circumstances keeps me at the bottom..I came to the conclusion that after losing my loved ones I created my family, created my home and now I am left homeless and I am afraid that I will be without a family, no matter how much they love me I can't watch them suffer like this and experience this with me..maybe life has made me strong but I'm not made of stone either ..

I don't sleep for ten nights and I'm thinking if I will send this letter, I need help so that maybe for the third time I return to life and get back on my feet with my family and not be afraid of what will happen tomorrow when my son and wife look at me with hope and love..I'm still surprised that I'm writing all this but it obviously pushed me into a corner and I don't see forward anymore. I've never prayed to anyone in my life, although I didn't have anyone, I managed everything myself but it doesn't seem to go any further ... This is maybe half of everything , but as they say everyone carries their cross..

Greetings.