Need Urgent Assistance

Hello, thanks for taking a look at this. I have a dream to be a content creator on twitch.tv as well as a professional esports player, I’m about ready to go pro in Apex, but my hardware has been holding me back. I can not stream to twitch on this hardware, and I dropped out of highschool. After dropping out, I got my own job (call center) had it for around 6 months and moved out of my parents house at 16. After moving out, I lost my wallet and all, moved to another state so the job did not come with me. My wallet had everything in it from my social, my cards, ID. All of it. I have tried getting my social back, multiple times over the course of 3 years now, and the local social place is literally playing games with me. They say they will send it, and it never shows. I’m not sure what to do about that, and I can’t get a job due to no social. Not only do I not have a social, the area in which I live is very expensive ($800 minimum a month) so the jobs that would accept me (dropout) will only pay me around 8 an hour. Not even enough to survive here. I’m stuck in the deepest hole, I came from poverty in my childhood life as well. We were homeless multiple times, even lived in a campsite for 4 months. I just want to live a happy life, entertaining the people I love on twitch. I’m very low on money, and out of options. I have narrowed my options down to twitch and YouTube , to live a happy life. I’m not even going to lie, I would rather not be here if I have to work just to survive. That’s not happening, I wasn’t put here for that. I should mention that I’m very dedicated into this esports game called Apex. I have played for over 1 1/2 years now, and have gotten to be almost on the pro level. Like I said, I’m ready but I have hardware holding me back. I have no options, and I’m not sure what to do. This corona has made it 10 times worse, because they ended up changing hours on social office, and days. I’m out of money, out of options, out of words, and I’m very lost. I’m currently 19, no job, no social, no friends, in an expensive place where every job REQUIRES a ged/diploma. I’m so screwed.