my wedding

Dear Samaritans,

I have no one to tell this to, not even my closest friends because this is nothing to be proud of, I am together with a very capable girlfriend and she's earning way more than I do. To make up for this income gap and to try to at least give her a proper wedding I tried CFD (a trading instrument). I got burnt, burnt badly in a desperate attempt to make things better and made it worse now. I know I made a bad decision and in life we can't just take it as a nightmare happened and wake up from it. I deeply regret my decision to have even tried to make up my income through CFD. Lately, expenses have just kept increasing with our upcoming wedding and I am getting so stressed up that I have thought of breaking up with her for her better. She always tell me it's ok boyfriend, I don't mind our income gap but that doesn't mean I am not ashame of myself. I get so depressed that I start getting suicidal thoughts and losing weight.

I really need some help and love here please, if you could just help me out with a few dollars, you could help lift this heavy load off my shoulder and let me breathe.

Sincerely.