Hello. I am here with you because I am afraid...
My two best friends, my only friends - my mom, Herminia, who has always been here for me, is deathly ill, and our precious dog, Pepe, who recently died.
My name is Rocky...and I feel no peace - I am holding very little now. These past several years I have shared all of my time with my precious mom and our very precious little one, Pepe, our Chihuahua.
My mom (aka "Mia") and Pepe are my loved ones and were my daily companions. I felt absolutely safe with them next to me.
These past few years, especially, we have spent almost every day, all day together. We live in the same apartment (Chicago, Il)...and I didn't like calling it 'my home'...I was not standing on my own two feet. I stayed there because of my mom.
My mom, who will turn 95 this August, 28, 2019... is presently in the hospital.
My mom was born in Bogota, Colombia, in 1924, and she came to America when she was a teenager. She started out as a babysitter for a military officer. Later, she would meet my father, Frank, and they would have six babies... and her first died from the umbilical cord. I was her last... and I almost died from the same way but the doctors caught it in time.
Mom worked several years at a factory here in Chicago before becoming a housewife. She was a tough, strong woman and she really showed it when I had my first girlfriend (in high school)… she was like a hawk! Looking back, my mom was always here for me... I could always depend on her. We had our rough times but she was always...my friend.
Pepe, are precious little beast 'would have' turned 10 years old, end of this summer... I can't believe he's really gone (I'm weeping, again).
Pepe entered our lives when he was just a little baby, the size of a Coke can. He was soo cute, precious! He loved to take long walks, did a lot of sniffing - maybe he could've been a hunter... and he was very friendly to everyone. He was our good little boy... and he'd always let us know when it was time for him to go 'peepee poopoo!'
Pepe was born with a heart murmur but it never showed until these past two-and-half years... He would have this chest congestion caused by his heart condition, and one of his meds, Lasix, would cause him to go peepee 'often'. I loved him so much and he needed care 'around the clock'... I would take him for several daily walks, including three to four times in the middle of the night (I didn't sleep much). And, 'walks' seem to calm his symptoms - and he loved to walk and explore (sniff). Massaging him and sitting him next to a steamy shower helped ease his congestion. He took meds throughout the day and night... and I loved to help him. He was 'our baby'!
Pepe, with his illness, was still having a 'quality of live'... I would take him on trips, car rides - he wasn't one to stick his head out the window like most dogs (didn't like the wind in his face), but, he liked to look out... and loved sniffing, especially, when we drove by any cooking.
In 2016, Pepe, about 7, was losing his eyesight. He was diagnosed with a hereditary eye disease... I prayed and prayed for him to get better...I was sad, he had trouble judging distance. Then, in some unknown way, in about a couple months, a miracle happened... his eyesight came back! I couldn't believe it! It was then, we started calling him "Super Baby!"
It was always 'us' - me, my mom and Pepe, 'jumping in the car' to go for a ride to the park, forest preserves, farms and to just hang out together... Our most 'funnest' road trip...we went on a 3 day trip, stayed in Nashville. Made a stop to Elvis Presley's home in Memphis! Pepe walked around his property and did some peepee.
Ha!... Pepe was always hungry, drank water all the time... I would get fresh water from McDonald's or Wendy's everyday. We had a daily routine, route... And, during our many fun days he would have his bouts with coughing attacks from the congestion. Pimobendan, another med I gave him, I believe helped extend his life.
Pepe died this last August 7th, 2019.
I've been told I helped extend Pepe's life... I just wish he was still here with us. He gave me purpose... I loved him so much, you can imagine how much his dying crushed me... he was 'the baby!', and, he and my mom was all I thought about, every day and night... It is crushing me right now as I am reliving the hurt as I tell you about him. Caring for him was a 'pain in the butt', but, I wanted to do whatever, no matter what... "I love you, Pepe."
Now, as I mentioned earlier, my mom is in the hospital right now... and I am very afraid... She is currently battling a blood infection and gallstones... My mom - my friend - is not the same. She got very ill, on July 23, 2019, and, since then, she's been in medical care.
My mom is currently weak... the hospital is doing what they can.
You know, I believe I am in good health (I'm 52 now)… and I am surprised I haven't had a heart attack...from the worrying about my mom, about our dog...and worrying about all my bills mounting and mounting - I put myself 'on hold' to help give my mom and Pepe a fun life - 'no' being in the home all day and letting life pass by.
About me - I was born and raised in Chicago. I have 'some college' education and most of my work history was being an installer... I used to install automotive cellular phones, car alarms, window tinting, security cameras... There was a time I was hired to be a Chicago firefighter, and an AT&T home technician - but, do to personal reasons, bad timing, I had to resign... My last full-time job was several years ago - I was an administrative assistant for a bakery here in Chicago, for about six years, and I was laid off (from new ownership).
I love fixing cars. I have to thank my dad for that... He was a mechanic, and he would drag me in the garage when I was a teen and help him with repairs. This experience would help me, greatly, down the road. I save money repairing my own car. I have a 2003 Oldsmobile with 260,000 miles. It runs great!
I was once married. We were married for five years, divorced in 2004. I have known my ex, Ramona, since we were kids...and, well, we just butted heads - things happen. Today, we are like family. We don't have children. We did try, though. I just replaced the brakes on her car... We do favors for each other...and we still butt heads.
Losing my two friends, mom and Pepe... I feel lost and alone. Many times I have told my mom "my future will hit a hard wall". You see, my two dear friends are a lady in her 90s and a dog with a heart condition. Hurt will come, right? (I close my eyes)
So...what am I asking for? How much financial trouble am I in??
Gosh, I really am ashamed to talk to you about this... I can't believe the position I am in...
I live in the living room of my mom's apartment, I owe the IRS and Illinois state taxes for the past four to five years, I have credit cards that have closed because I could not keep up.
I have no job - I had a full-time job...caring for my mom and dog - that ended.
I have lost my two close friends... and I may be homeless some day soon... I have to find my own place. Yes, I have relatives... but, no one I'm really close to, in that way. I do have a sister, Sarita, that has been helping me cope, and my ex-wife, Ramona, helped to. I am very thankful for them... I was really down and they helped.
I just hang my head down... again, I am a capable man. I just need some help to dig myself out.
I still haven't mentioned any specific dollar amounts to you... I know-I know. I am very embarrassed.
I have been hoping, praying for some kind of windfall to save me... because I owe about $45,000.
Please, please... if you consider helping, I hope you are financially sound... I will try to find a way.
If you really want to know what I'm thinking... I believe God will help me. I know this is another experience in my life. Back In 2010, I almost died from a 'ruptured' Appendix. Man, I never suffered so much. I had a very bad infection... and, then, one day, after about a month, I started to feel better - I felt I wasn't going to die.
I am not on Facebook... I do not receive financial assistance.
Maybe, just maybe, if I let you know about me... something good will happen.
If you have an interest...you may have a question... please feel free to contact me...
Thank you for taking the moment.
Help Rocky raise $20,000 by making a donation.
- $25 I am with fear, I feel alone...and I have mounting bills.Years ago I was laid off from a bakery I worked for here in Chicago, for several years. I have spent soo much time with my mom and our precious dog...all I would do is pray, hoping I can catch up - I have just sink deeper and deeper. I am afraid.