My story of how I became a gambling addict

Hey everyone, and thank you for taking your time to read this:)

This is my story: For about 2 years ago, I have been dealing with a very personal problem that I got when I discovered a online gambling site in christmas 2014, and I was stupid enough to try this out.

In the beginning I wasn't winning a lot but some small amount now and then, but it all got more interesting when I had played for about 5 days, then I was lucky enough to win almost 8 000 usd on a slot machine, and that was the day I become addicted to internet casinos.

The first thing I did when I won that money was to take out and transfer them to my bank account. The second thing I did was to tell my parents the great news that I had won almost 8 000 usd, but it all got much worse when I received the money 3-4 days later. When I received the money I felt that this was easy and I could win more money if I played more, so I started to put some money back on my gambling account and then I started to play more, and I lost a lot, and it happened so quick that after 2 days I had lost everything id had won.

That was the day I got extremely depressed and at the same time I got very angry at myself and people around me. I become very sad and the worst thing that I had to do was to tell my parents that I had lost all the money I had won. I felt like I had dissapointed them because they had said to me when I won that money that i needed to stop with internet gambling and delete my account because of the fear that I would get addicted to this. So I was very down and angry at my self for being so stupid, but then I begin to lie to the people that was close to me. I said to them that I had quit playing but that wasn't the truth, I actually couldn't quit because I was to addicted and I felt i had got abstinence so the only thing I thought about was the casino game. I had that inner voice inside of me that said to me that i would at some point win back my money that i had lost. So kept on doing this for about one and a half year in secret of everyone that was close to me and It came to a point where I reached the bottom and said to myself why am I doing this to myself, why do I destroy my self like this everyday, I then looked back at 1 and a half year of regularly gambling and I just said to my self that I can't be doing this anymore, if I don't stop now, then I will in worst case scenario maybe commit suicide.

The problems you get when you lose money that your have earned from hard work is extremely depressive and you get very emotionally about that, and you let that anger go out on the people who is closest to you and the good mood I always had was changed to bad mood I felt sad, disappointed, and at the same time I had that anger inside of me :(

Today I have been gambling free for about 2 months, which is the best feeling I have had since before I started with this, I´m currently 20 years old, and the reason Im telling my story is because over the past 1 and a half years i've managed to get some debt from online gambling, my total debt is now 5460 dollars which is a lot from something as stupid as online gambling, but I can't go back and change stupid things I have done so I´m asking for some help to pay down my debt :(

I appreciate every donation I can get no matter how small it is :) I want to thank everyone that decide to help me and maybe there is more people out there that have been in my shoes or in similar situations. Thank you all, and I will post further updates.