My Responsibilities vs My Dreams

I'm a regular yet an extraordinary, 31 years old woman who has struggled most of her life to get love and respect. A victim of sexual assault by a few of own extended family members, to feeling unloved by own people to being emotionally, mentally and physically used a multiple times due to my very own vulnerable self looking for answers to all things and Love!!

I'm someone who has had extreme and extraordinary experiences across all these 31 years. Right from sexual assault in the childhood to severe life-threatening heartbreaks leading to month long hospitalization and COMA to Marriage and abuse to being conned by people for mere money to unhappy and disturbed family life to being left pregnant and stranded just two days before second marriage to being cheated on with another friend to being bankrupt and without food water and valid residency (due to visa expiration) on a foreign land to fateful accident leaving me bed ridden for months to penniless and six stomachs to feed in the family to A HEART STILL OF A CHILD WHO IS WILLING TO LIVE LOVE AND DREAM OF JOY PEACE AND CALM !!

That's my life in a nutshell. I am willing to complete my education, but got no funds. I have to take care of my old parents 78 and 60 years old father and mother. Their medication and running the household. Get my younger sibling married and help her fuel her small business. Help my fiance with repaying his education loan. Have myself a tiny little wedding. Have a few of my debts be paid off. Get myself a thorough full body medical examination done. Help secure my pets and parents future. Fuel my passion for writing and spiritual studies of healing etc by getting myself enrolled into few courses and programs. And eventually be able to heal and help the animals and birds and plants and trees and all things created by the nature by the universe and our creater; to make this world a better place for everyone where there's all done that is in my capabilities to make this space full of love and compassion.

Being the only earning member, all of this looks just like a DREAM!! I wish to fulfill these dreams and be able to breathe that fresh air, air of peace and calm and get myself a tiny little vacation in Bhutan.

Unfortunately, the world we live in feeds on money and nothing of the above can really be done without money.

I'd be glad if some beautiful compassionate souls in this world can help me with moving close to MY DREAMS..