I’m raising money for the university I wish to go to so that I can pursue my dreams.
What are my dreams?
Let me introduce myself a bit.
I'm Cumby Twice, and I'm 19 years old. I study Graphic Design in the University of Media and Communication.
My dream, and the love of my life, is film making. I discovered this world gives me a sense of peace no other place does. I realized that in the world I'm struggling to understand, I can create my own stories, and what's more, share them with the world. You can already see some of my works here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfYkERUAYBC9QfKe0LYy-qQ
By this summer, I will be opening a Vimeo account where you will be able to see all my works I wish to display.
I'm also into photography, acting and drawing. You can see some more of my works here: https://www.deviantart.com/mesterveen
Your donations will determine whether I can pursue my dreams.
I've done it. I've finally taken a step forward and decided to take matters into my own hands. But it's incredibly daunting.
Have I really thought this through?
Simple answer is yes.
For a long time I've been having issues at home. Sometimes it was rather abusive, both physically and psychologically. All in all, as I became older, I realized something had to change. For a while I thought that something was me. I thought I could change my attitude and then maybe I'd get along with my parents more. I've grown with feelings of guilt, self-loathing and insecurity. I thought maybe I could solve all the issues that had been increasing over the years. But changing myself was not enough- and there was no way I could change my parents.
So I decided to leave them.
I'm actually not alone in this. This isn't a situation in which a teenager is running away from their house because they're unhappy because of one argument. This is the case of an adult trying to take the course into my own hands because I have realized that my decisions, my choices, will affect the way I will live in the future. And if I choose to obey my parents, I'd be running away from my duties.
I have talked to psychologists and adult people about this, who agree that walking out of the door of my parents' house is the only way to change. This isn't me leaving them or abandoning them. This isn't me showing ingratitude towards everything they have done for me all these years. This is me taking a stance to do something every person of my age should be able to do. In fact, gaining independence is the most normal thing in the world, it's a stage in life that everyone goes through. Your parents gave you wings, but you have got to fly. On your own.
I study in Serbia right now, but I have been studying abroad all my life. For a while I struggled with what I wanted to study. When I finished my education, I realized that for life, I wanted to do something creative. I couldn't imagine my entire life forcing myself to study something for the mere purpose of receiving a diploma and getting a job. I wanted film, but they would not give in. They finally gave in to graphic design- but it came with a price. For the next four years, I'd have to study exactly the way they want me to. They are very much against me being an artist, and they express their opinion freely. Most of the time, their negative attitude gives me a feeling of low self esteem. Furthermore, they wish to control my every move. I cannot go outside when I wish to, I cannot be with people, and I do not have the freedom to make my own choices.
As an artist, I need the freedom to express myself. I don't say this because I merely want it. I say this because I'm starting to feel with my whole being that I'm actually in need of it.
I've been living in a rather controlled environment for most of my life. While I understand that parents have a duty to raise their kids in the best way they can, and that with their love for their children, they have the best intentions, my home environment is becoming toxic. The environment I'm living in currently has affected me over the years psychologically and socially. I'm afraid it could affect me professionally too. My dream is to me an actress and filmmaker. I can still understand why my parents would be worried about that.
But the university I actually go to offers the option to study both film and graphic design at the same time. While I'd be able to build up my career in graphic design where I'd be safe, I could also build up my dream as a filmmaker by working on projects on the side. If I continue to live with my parents, I will not be able to do even that much.
Why this university and not another, somewhere abroad, one that I could possibly afford?
It's true, private universities in Serbia are looked down upon. In fact, it's often considered that people who end up in private universities are people who have failed elsewhere. \
But not for me. This university is my first choice, and I'll tell you why.
1. It's homely. I don't there would be any other university in the world that would actually pay as much attention to my needs as this university does. While in many universities there are huge lecture halls where a professor teaches and the students remain unnoticed, in this university professors are not merely professors, they are our mentors, and what's more, in the future they'll be our collaborators.
2. The professors are great. If you put aside the fact that they're friendly, the professors in this universities are not merely professors, they're actually professionals in their own field of work, some of which were incredibly successful in their careers. What's more, it's all mixed, we have graphic designers, digital artists, filmmakers and photographers- all in the same place! The professors, who have seen some of my works, have helped me recognize that I might be good in what I do. Their faith in me leads me to believe that there are open doors for me that I often thought were closed.
3. They have equipment you can rent-for free. While the university may be expensive, when we're working on projects such as film, they have an IT section that rents out photo cameras, video cameras, lenses, sound recorders, and all kind of things that might be necessary for production. Furthermore, they have studios in the university where there are other equipment such as lights and backgrounds, or green screen that are useful for photography or for film.
4. They have a digital room- with computers. I do not have my own laptop, but lately I've been given access to a digital room in which sometimes lessons are being held. As I have a reputation for being civilized, I've been let by some professors to stay in there and access one of the computers, all which are MACS and have the latest Adobe programs. I'm also given access to the room when no one is around possibly because the IT section knows me, and trusts me. If the university was bigger, I'm not sure I'd have that privilege. I've fallen in love with that room. There are also tables one can study on, and I have actually turned it into my study hall.
5. I have made some connections, there are people I already know, who know me, and who actually like what I do. As I'm already walking into a new world away from my parents, to walk into a new world with new people and a new environment, possibly in a new country would be incredibly daunting for me. Here I would feel less alone, and less scared.
But the university is expensive. That's why I'm swallowing my pride and reaching out to you for help.
But what about the rest? Where will I stay, will I get a job?
This is the moment I'll take a second to solemny promise the following: all your fundings, and I mean ALL, will be merely used for educational purposes. None of it will be invested in the following:
1. Paying the bills
2. Going outs (coffee, parties, cinema etc.)
3. Personal projects (film, photography)
4. Clothes or food or other items
5. And anything that falls in the category outside of education
Every penny will go to my university. Education is important.
Having said that, to actually answer the question, I have not found a part-time job yet. In Serbia, it's very hard to get hold of a job since everything is done through connection. But here is the plan: I will start teaching English online, which will bring me some profit. Maybe I will be able to start other businesses online which will help me pay the bills. I'm still looking for a flatmate.
But in all honesty, it would really help me knowing I can support my own education. If I can do that, I can make the choices I believe would be the best for my future. Although I'm young, inexperienced, and will possibly make a ton of bad choices, it's the only way to learn. But when my parents have control over everything, they control me too. I do not have the freedom to act the way I want, nor to express myself the way I need.
I want to give the best of me. Please help me turn my dreams into reality.
NOTE: IF YOU'RE FROM SERBIA, PLEASE DO NOT DONATE. This is because transactions through PayPal is illegal if the money is received from the same country.