Help me have the wedding I thought I would never get to have.
I asked him " Are you sure you want to marry me?". The big doubt, questioning myself if I do deserve this kind of love. I had no self assurance that anyone could possibly love me the way I wanted to. To feel beautiful every moment even at my worse.. Every day he reaches for my hand. Every pause he looks and stares at me. Every moment I spend with him I spend it with him laughing and smiling.
I had been previously married for over 10 years in my past with someone I was told by family to just stay with him and to be quiet. I married young and did not know what I was getting into. Raised by a strict Asian Roman Catholic home. Married in a courthouse not even wearing white much less a dress. I felt like this was what marriage was going to be.
I finally had left that marriage and found someone that I had known for a year, but never knew there was more until I he asked me about my day. I never thought about someone asking me how my day went. I always worried about others.
Talked turned into spark, spark turned into falling in love. I know this is crazy, but within a few days of admitting we had feelings for each other, he said he loved me. He is currently active duty military. I miss him so much when he is away. One day at the airport upset to see him go, I whispered to him " It's a lot of goodbyes." Heartbroken whenever I watch him leave. His response was, " No, it's a lot of Welcome Home".
So for that question I asked him, he set my face up so that I couldn't ignore his stare and said to me.
" I believe that 2 people meant for each other no matter what time or world, they eventually meet again. 2 people that no matter what circumstances get in the way they eventually meet. I don't care if it takes us 2 months, 1 year, 10 years or more, I will wait to marry you."
I want to marry this man. I want to marry my perfect match who has turned my life upside down and showed me that I can be loved and I deserve to be loved.
Since my divorce had left me penniless, I left every valuable item and asked for nothing from the ex to avoid any further harassment. It also caused a disruption with friends. You divorce your friends and family at the same time. All I brought with me were my clothes and desktop which fit in a small car. Starting all over again after so many years of working hard has been difficult, but it all was worth it. I would not have been able to be with the man I love now if I didn't learn anything from my past.
I do not need a honeymoon. A honeymoon with him is well spent just at home watching Netflix.
This funding will also help me get a wedding dress.