So this is my story ,...I was just 16 years old when i met the love of my life . He showed up to my new years eve party, being the only american at a german party, in a little german town . The night was amazing and we had a lot fun - sadly he had to deploy shortly after to iraq and me, being a young girl, never even talked to a soldier stationed in germany, had no idea what this meant. Destiny brought us after his deployment together, the first weekend he was home, we ran into each other at a little volksfest. From then on we spent every free evening after he got off or weekend together. He helped me through the worst time of my life, he always could make me smile and being around him made me feel complete. Although, we never went on a "real" date. we stayed friends. i guess i was too worried losing such an amazing friend, and as i know now from his best friends and family back home, he wanted me to finish school, focus on me, .... not risk me leaving my family...like so many girls do when they fall for an american soldier here....His best friend Miyinda borrowed us her car to travel through germany...hang out at my family's place.... So the day came he had to leave back to the states, .... i made him a book with photos of us, i gave him my old passport , so whatever happened, he could always find me ! .... the months went by, we wrote and talked with email, he signed up on facebook for me, .... sent pictures.... so one day i called him, and he sounded really excited, he would deploy, but right after that get stationed again in germany. he was really looking forward to it - his last words where, that he promised we see each other again .... after i didnt hear from him after that, i called his cell a couple weeks later, his mum picked up , telling me, he died the day before in a bike accident ....... all i could do , was hang up ....i didnt want to hear it.... a week later i googled his name,...and i found the police report - i started to realize, it was true ..... but whatever i tried, i couldnt go by one day without thinking about him .... a year later, his best friend Toby, a police officer, found kevins facebook and through that, he found me. he wrote me a very long email . he told me he was his friend and if i heard from him, he was happy to have found me ..... to sum it up, he told me, that kevin talked about me whenever they spoke to each other, and he even told his mother and grandmother about this amazing german girl. he explained me, that because i was so young, he never told me how much he loved me. but he put in papers to get back to germany - for me. so i wrote a letter to his mum, telling her, how amazing her son was and hoped this letter would fix a lil the whole the death of her son left in her life .... from then on also his grandmother wrote me.... telling me they found my book and my pictures, already googled if they could find me somehow .... it was like i found a second family. i never met those people, but they made me feel like being a part of their family. a short time later, miyinda, the girl kevin borrowed the car from, wrote me on facebook - it was like kevin sent me his two best friends, telling me what he felt - when it was too late for him to tell me. now miyinda and my dream is - to fly to texas, where he is burried - to come together a last time, to say good bye - and then meet his amazing family in arkansas . i dont have a day i dont think of him, miss him and regret not speaking my true feelings before it was too late. it tought me to live every day as it was my last and never leave something unspoken .... i havent found a man who ever could compete with him - i know though he wishes this for me .... but whatever happens : even he was thousands of miles away when he was deployed, something hold us together, even he was thousands of miles away being back home, .... something hold us together,... and wherever he is now, he will always be a part of me.