My name is Maya and I am 20 years old. I originally come from South Sudan but I lived most of my life in Sudan. I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (bpd), major depression, anxiety, and social phobia 2 years ago year.
Since then I have started a long journey of medication and therapy, none seemed to be working. Started with medication but soon I was no longer able to afford them. Therapy, on the other hand, was frustrating. I thought it was a better investment than medication. Firstly, it took me a while to find a therapist who did not sexually harass me or told me all of me problems are caused by my sins and bad relationship with God. Yes, thats how they do it in Sudan. When I finally found a respectable therapist, I had troubles adjusting to the patient-doctor relationship of conventional psychotherapy. I became dependant on him and acted as if he was a family member or cared about me personally. And eventually dropped the whole thing. I was then amazed to learn about Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (dbt), the only working way to manage bpd, and a new journey began. There was no Certified therapists who can deliver this type of treatment in the country. So I turned to self-help books. I even found a therapy-partner and started exercising with them but we failed to conduct the programme together.
Few weeks ago, I was listening to a podcast on food. I heard those amazing women talking about their journey of healing by investing into something they love, cooking. Then it struck me that each of them had a blog to document her journey. They said those blogs provided them with a community of support and motivated them to keep working. So I said to myself jokingly, maybe you should blog your therapy. The idea slowly grew in my mind and I decided explore it. I found articles in favour of doing so and good examples of promising results. So I decided to do it. Exploring the idea further, I found out that people can make money from online blogging. And I thought it would be great if I could earn money and pay for drugs as well. In order to do so, it has to be self-hosted (purchased blog). free blogs has many other limitations as well.
So how can I get more than a 100$ I thought to myself ? 1 dollar equals around 800 Sudanese pounds. So i need around 8000 pounds. What about my family ? They are the least supportive people on earth. I actually self-supported this whole journey of healing. But then again, it was all in the local currency. Even If they had 100$ they wouldnt give it to me. In fact, they are the cause of my misery. Writing about this part of my life in details is overwhelming and difficult. So you will have to take my word for it.
I encouraged myself to conduct this campaign. I even went ahead and asked a friend to let me use his bank account located in UA (as the US sanction prohibit transactions to Sudan). And here I am writing this description and hoping for the best.
All I want is to be better. The closet to normal and get rid of my demons. I want to go to college and be a good person. I wanna be fine and I am trying. And I would appreciate your support.
N.B : the minimum amount to raise was 250$. All I need is between 100-150$.