Pass the hat for Maria Fe Leal

Dearest Friends,

Almost a year ago, I started a site to fund raise for Mama's Chemotherapy and medical expenses. You did not fail us. Our family is still grateful up to this day for all the help you have contributed.

On April 22, 2021, our beloved Mother, Maria Fe J. Leal, has passed away. She fought cancer with all her might just to spend more time with her children and grandchildren.

Our journey wasn't easy. There were days, my siblings and I barely talked to each other. Most of the time, I only call them to consult about a doctor's order. Everyone was busy. Everyone had the chance to care for Mama. It wasn't easy. A lot of times we hear mom cry on her sleep. She couldn't breathe.. Some parts of her body was painful.. We've had sleepless nights, we've faced a lot of emotional traumas, the fear of being unsure if Mama will still make it the next day.

The finances have gone up, it was unstoppable. But because Mama needs it, whatever the price, we bought it. From where, you ask? With God's grace, He provided. When Mama has had COVID-19 virus in December, there were days I didn't eat. You can only imagine how hard it is to cry while wearing PPE's. There were days I could no longer talk, because my heart was breaking right in front of me. My mom was dying.. every single day. She has endured all of the pain, from having tubes in her left and right lung, another tube in her heart, a ventilator in her mouth, dextrose in her leg (they could no longer insert I.V. on her arms or wrists).. I asked, what else can they put on my mom?

I started questioning my faith.. Why does she have to suffer so much? Few days after, she made it. The doctors couldn't believe it. Some doctors said a week, a month, or let's just hope for the best. The pain of having to hear all this in one blow and worry about the bill, and make sure Mama is doing alright... I did it all. Mom prayed for me. She survived COVID-19. The palliative doctors have warned us, know when to stop her medication. Check her body if chemotherapy is still worth it. Do we want her to pass away at home of in the hospital? Have we checked funeral services? Besides the doctor's instructions, we still had to worry about the hospital bills. We've spent Christmas and New Year at the hospital. I never left Mom's side. It was excruciating to see her in pain and having difficulty to breathe, you can only imagine the pain of a daughter and not be able to do anything to help her. We cried, we prayed, we begged God..

We made it out of the hospital after a month and half. We went home and Mama can no longer stand on her own. She's becoming weak everyday. We gave her everything she wanted to eat. No more restrictions, no more reservations. There were endless nights of crying in agony.. Just like what the doctors said back in December, if she makes it out of the ventilator, survives COVID-19, she will only last for 3 months. She had leukemia after a month. Mom's pleural effusion came back. She can no longer sit on her own. She can no longer eat alone. And then days passed, she started crying almost every hour, screaming, "It's painful!" We tried pain relievers but it seems her pain receptors can no longer process the medicines.

It was agonizing, tormenting. She's being tortured right in front of us.. and there's nothing we can do to stop the pain. Two weeks before she died, she was throwing up blood and pooped blood at the same time. She passed out for few minutes and came back. She felt no pain. We were hoping it would stay that way.. but no.. few days later, and she could no longer eat or drink, and the pooping of blood didn't stop. My mom was feeling all of the pain even more.. Her agony was prolonged for 2 weeks. We inserted I.V. fluid, she cried even more.. at this time, we no longer know what else is right. We had to make choices. Keep her alive by giving her more fluids or let her be and wait for God to take her life. Who are we to make decisions? Who could tell if a person's life is going to end soon?

On the night she left us, she had deep breaths.. 4 seconds of inhale and shorter exhales.. I was with her in the morning.. I prayed to God, to let me share a little bit of Mama's pain. I held her hand for few hours. I felt the cramps on my arm, going to my shoulder, to my head. And then my legs started to sore. I chose not to move because if I do, Mama would wake up and cry in pain again. She fell asleep. She was able to rest for few hours. I knew she's really weak, she could no longer open her eyes. I wasn't there when she passed away. She took her last breath as I entered her room. I cried and mourned with my siblings. I laid down next to mom while she's still warm. I stayed there all night right next to Mama. I told her how much I love her. I told her this everyday. She knows that in her heart.

My mom is a strong woman. She taught us well. She taught us life lessons we didn't realize until she's gone. One of them is to be honest and never cheat on anyone. Be a good person. Always be forgiving no matter how hard it is. Choose to love, specially your family. You will never go wrong with your family.

Today, carrying all of my mother's life lessons for such a short period of time, I'd like to ask again for your help. Mom has made it through her journey. As for us who were left behind, we need to be strong and pull through this life challenge. Currently, we are raising P200,000php for the funeral expenses. Mom was cremated and we are still looking for sponsors to back us up.

Dear friends, we humbly ask for your financial help. Any amount of donations from your hearts will be greatly appreciated. If its not too much to ask, please say a little prayer for my mom so her soul will not get lost while ascending.

Should you have any questions, or you want to give your donations personally, you may reach me, Rachel at 09630816719 or email us at [email protected]. I and my siblings would answer you as soon as we can. Thank you so much and God bless us all.

Gcash Number: 09975398303 Bank of the Philippine Islands: Rachelle Leal 8703 1045 93 Security Bank: Rachelle Leal 0000042958036 Or click Donate Now for Paypal