Writing a title for this is super hard. So that title is refrencing my original post. As I've said, its been harder to laugh it off as I realize all of the ripple effect that I'm having to deal with. Forgive the rambling and fumbling in my video, and feel free to laugh at it just a little ;)
Hopefully y'all have the patience to read the rest after my exhausting rambling on my youtube video. If so, props to you! Either you're one of my deliciously creepy cyber fans or someone I need to have around because I can always use more friends that love to hear me talk.... or at least tolerate it.
Also, just an FYI - pending legal processes, this goal may change. The number is fairly arbitrary.
But first, here are the relating links:
So, as shown in my video, there were quite a bit of expenses and the bills are still rolling in. While my attacker was doing his planning, he really made sure to get at me through every angle. Although he is put away, he has given my contact information to people I had worked to remove from my life in the past. So my work isn't done to stop this.
It didn't end when he was arrested. I have not only spent thousands of (loaned) dollars on the person who attacked me, but this same person has caused other legal conflicts for me. False DCFS reports, contacting previous abusers who are now harrassing me resulting in more restraining orders, etc. I'm still currently receiving threats against my livlihood and well-being (which only got worse after this incident - it's f***ed up) Unfortunately the type of protection that one needs in this situation does not come freely. To really end this all, it is going to cost greatly. (Seems kinda messed up, right?)
This is where I ask that the people around me have the faith that I will clear my past and move forward to continue to help the people who need it - and from now on the people who need it most. I also hope to have about a month to take off of work to heal. Unfortunately I am in the entertainment business. Entertainment is a business of vulnerability and I think lessening my sense of vulnerability is the best option for healing and strength in the long term.
Don't tell anyone , because I'm SUCH a tough guy, but I'm feeling pretty sensitive and beaten down. But I can't possibly dispose of my political volition due to this tragedy! What happened to me is exactly the type of thing I fight for openness about! Also, I have incredible privileged guilt. So I want to make some promises in exchange for the generosity of my supporters.
Promises to Give Back:
- I want to host at least one, if not more social events that double as a benefit to my cause. Entertaining will of course help me feel life myself, and the financial profit will be a plus. I will split any financial gain of these events 50/50 between my needs and RAINN (https://www.rainn.org/)
- I want to use some of my time off to heal through my artistic ability. I am a painter/artist and I will be making art the entire time. I have never sold any of my work (that vulnerability fear thing) but each piece I make during my time off I will donate to an art auction or crisis center relating to victims of abuse. (feel free to send me resources PLEASE).
- I will be spending time along with my fiance volunteering at crisis centers for women and children for the healing of myelf and the other victims I interact with.
These are my promises to give back. And these are my promises to take real steps for myself to heal and keep laughing at life and entertaining. I'm done with the ups and downs. No more getting backed into a corner. No more couple-month "hiatuses" after being emotionally/physically hurt. No more doubting myself.
I see my value due to lots of hard work, and amazing support from my loved ones and fans. After what happened on February 12th, I will not risk the value I have again.
At the end of this, if any legal fees are recovered down the road, they will be immediately handed over to RAINN or a related cause or center in need.
I have always created my own indulgence... Once I can go back to that, anything extra will go toward other survivors. And THEN - we all will party once again :)
Danny (aka Lola)
P.S. Payment is through paypal but there is a small link to pay without signing in!