Exactly one year ago I was running away. I escaped from a nightmare.
Exactly one year ago I had the courage to tell everybody what it was happening to me.
I'm Katy, a coach. A person who at 32 years old had achieved her personal success: living a healthy life, doing the job that I am passionate about - helping people and businesses to get the best of themselves - living near the sea. Obviously for someone who comes from nowhere it wasn’t easy to get all this. But it was easy to lose everything, by not wanting to wake up anymore, to be totally apathetic ... to survive ... struggling every day with a person who had made my unrequited love become an obsession. A violent obsession both in words and in gestures.
A person who day by day managed to take away all my self-esteem, work and dreams. Insinuating herself in my life and in my mind, making me feel guilty even of my simple breathing. Isolating myself from everything and everyone. Family members and friends included. Taking away every thread of self-love, taking away the ability to react, the ability to look to the future. I lost everything ... from my physical appearance - the gym was a passion of mine - the car that her madness destroyed, my work and my whole life.
And to all this I could not react.
I am a life lover (I have a big tatoo where it is written EnjoYlifE), a people lover, a sun lover... day after day I closed myself and struggled to ensure that my values were not broken and swept away.
How many times have I been in front of the police to report what was happening to me but the same many times I have not made it for my no desire to hurt people and at most the person who had once been my best friend. I was convinced I had enough strength to handle the situation. If only I had listened to my body that first began to faint and then to vomit, day after day, meal after meal. I was looking for a reason to everything that was happening to me, but I did not want to simply understand that I had a sick person in front of me. And that I wasn’t a doctor or a psychologist. The only way I could help her was by helping myself.
Hundreds of calls in a single day from countless unknown numbers. Thousands of messages from nicknames and different numbers. Dozens of e-mail addresses used. Comments on social media - even social media that promoted my coaching activities -. Stands in front of the house, day and night. Car chases. Continuous threats to my person and indirectly to those around me. Until I managed to do something that seemed to be the ascent of Everest. Talk. Talk to everyone. And cry and cry.
It was not easy, especially if your friends and your loved ones are used to seeing you always strong and smiling and have not had the slightest intuition that behind a smiling face in the social profiles there was a tormented soul in constant and continuous struggle with her stalker. A victim. Yes, I have to recognize I was a victim of stalking.
But the nightmare did not seem to end. Only when my stalker touched the only person who had approached me and tried to protect me -a friend -, destroying the thing for which he had been sweating for years - a motorcycle - well, just in that case I woke up.
I started my journey with a specialist...realizing that me, I was the BEST COACH for myself. Day after day I learned to control the vomit ... month after month I regained confidence in myself and in people. And the most beautiful thing, I start again to looking at people’eyes directly and I came back to love life with all its problems and its facets. How could I do all these things alone and far from my family? Studying and experimenting on me many and many mental strategies I was learning day by day. As I told before I became my personal mental coach.
The judicial process is still long ... the travel of the law is still long.The precautionary measures requested by my defense have not yet been accepted. I have to wait some weeks more. Till nowadays I still can not walk quietly through the city without first having scan every single piece of the streets. But what I'm managing to do is start again with my lovely job. Stronger and more conscious than before. Because along this dark grey year, when I was a walking dead, I experienced my salvation through my mind, which I trained, filled with informations, studies, sensory experiences and experiments.
Today, after a year, I still could not rebuild everything I had lost. It does not matter if I have used all the savings of my hard work for years to survive ... it does not matter if I have to use my savings to pay lawyers to report. It does not matter. The important thing is that I’m here, alive and stronger than before.
And if I'm here and I learnt a lesson it is time to help others people to break the mental chains with whom they are living a struggled life and give them the opportunity and the chance to rescue themselves.
'Cause I learnt that to listen to your body and have the courage to escape from a nightmare but more, to start again with a new life it is essencial to have a strong, energetic, powerful and trained mind. Life is running and it can't wait for you.
Today my fundraising campaign wants to have the objective of seeking economic help or collaboration, if it can not be monetary aid, that allows me to build the foundations of my profession again. Complete, ready, balanced and prepared. I am katy, a coach and strategist, who speaks three languages and wants to reach as many people as possible to help them grow both personally and professionally . That's why I'm asking you to believe in me. To believe in the words of a person who sees in online coaching an excellent solution to be close to her coachees.
The aim of my fundraising is this: having the liquidity that allows me to rebuild my website (I closed my three sites in my darkest moment), my social networks, the contents and everything related to my personal marketing. Have the liquidity to organize speeches, to record meditation and videos about the real personal growth and maybe to spread my story in order to be useful to all the victims of stalking. Having the opportunity to create retreats, here in Ibiza or on Dolomites mountains, where people can be embraced in a protected, relaxed and welcoming environment and where they can understand how to use their own mind and emotions as the most powerfull strenght for the life they really desire to live. I wanna be an exemple.
For all this I ask you to help me. Even a simple coffee is enough. Really. I will do my best to give people the best of me. Using your gift I have the desire to be a lantern, in the coldest and darkest nights, that will guide people towards the light. That light that often does not seem to exist as in an Icelandic winter night.
May the Universe bless you.