Jessy Fund

Hello, my name is Jessica & I've come here to seek help from friendly, kind hearted beings. This year has been the roughest year of my life and I've been doing everything that I can to keep going on. I work full time at a non GMO/hormone facility where we deliver to private schools in the SF area.  Basically, this is how my year has been going so far. On Father's day, my mother was found dead by my brother in her bed. The worst part is that his birthday was the day after...Now, I cant tell you where my brother is. He's a heavy drug user and I'm so afraid that I'm going to lose the last of my blood, it makes me want to stay strong and keep fighting, but knowing he's giving up makes me feel so weak. The fact that she was not only just my mother, but my father as well (since I had never met my real one) completely destroyed me. She wasn't happy, so I made a promise to her that I would be happy enough for the both of us, no matter what. About a month after my mother passed my Step Father had gotten in touch with a lover he had back in High School and soon enough, they were a "couple" again. Knowing that my mother was tossed aside so quickly made me spiral down even further. I started to not care about myself, even though I tried so hard since I had made that promise to her. For two to three months my brother and I had to go down to her apartment everyday to take care of her cats that she had left behind. Seeing less of her mail come for her, not hearing her contagious laugh roar through out her apartment, not smelling her anymore started to really mess with my head and heart. During this time I was with someone who had been phycially and mentalling abusing me for the last three years. On top of me losing my Mother, my partner was bringing me down even more. I didn't know who to turn to, who to trust, who to love, so I turned to drugs. I had a gotten into some things before, but after all of what had happened, I didn't want to be anything anymore, I didn't feel like I was even worth anything.  I am compeltely clean now, I haven't used since July 29th and I am beyond proud of myself, I know my Momma would be as well. Soon after my ex and I split up, a couple friends of mine moved into my apartment with me and about a month or so later we moved to a new place. Because of the Holiday season, school is out more frequently and It's very hard for me to afford my rent at the moment, since my work is involved with Schools. Also, my roommates are not happy living with me anymore, I have asked them why, but they have not given me an answer. I'm only home to sleep most of the time, so I'm beyond confused and frusterated. So, cancelling the lease is the best way for us to go. It's two months rent plus a $2000 cancelation fee. I'm stressing out really badly right now and I would do anything to just have a place I can truly call home. They both have families to go to, sadly, I do not.  I plan on using the money to help me with my cancelation fees, first and last months rent, deposit and pet deposit for my new place.  I plan on getting a little bit cheaper of a place and moving a lot closer to work, which will help a lot with how much money I put towards gas. I'm really looking for any amount of help that I could get. I'm looking constantly for a second job, I do side jobs and help out friends and/or random Craigslist gigs.  Thank you for reading my story, and I know this is far fetched of me to do and the last thing I want to do is "beg," but I really need help.  May peace and love be with all of you.