IT’s Depressed

Hi! I'm almost 30 years old IT gril who suffer from really deep depression. The main cause of my condition are my parents who failed me down. My mother died when I was 12, since then I lived with my father who hasn't been ready for raise a child. I was alone with my pain after losing my mother, I was alone when I was teenager, I was alone when I had to decide about my future. No I'm not alone - I have depression, which kill me a little every day.

My father had a stroke two years ago - he has never thought about future that's why I have to pay for his wrong decisions. He has a company, which was managed in terrible way, and now it's in huge debts. Unfortunately I inherited part of those debts after mother's death. Now I have to pay off his debts, but I don't have enough money. I work in IT, I thought that job would be a dream, but I can't enjoyed it because of my little friend who live in my mind. Since my mother's death I haven't had possibility to really enjoyed my life, to make my own decisions or plan my life in the way I want to. I always have to think about my father, about his life, his choices and I never did anything for myself. Now I also have to fund an apartment for my father, because there is no possibility for him to live in his old house (it's just ruined...)

That's why I'm here. It is the one and only solution to release from his bad decisions, and his life and start my own therapy which currently do not give me the best support. I fight with my depression for years - and I feel like I'm dying in the inside. Maybe it wouldn't literally kill me, but it doesn't matter because I feel dead inside. Noone of my friend or family noticed my condition, because depression could be hidden very deep inside your soul. For sure each of you know a person who has the same disease, but doesn't know about that. I also didn't know that I'm not lazy, I'm just sick...

So please help me find my own way, find my own life, and take care about myself. From my side I can promise that I would share my expierence, time and money with other people who fight of their own lives, whose parents failed down, and who need help, but first I need to cure myselft... So please - don't hesitate to donate, I will be realy, deeply grateful.