The most alive person I have ever met is no longer with us. The man with the best heart ever. As Eric has said 'Wherever Csaba went, he set a room on fire, those from far would admire the fireworks and flames and those who got to be close enjoyed the energy that fuelled his drive'.
Unfortunately, due to the current circumstances we have all been robbed of the opportunity to say our goodbyes and get some closure.
We have not decided yet but most likely there will be a family funeral as soon as that is going to be possible, but we (Family and all the amazing Friends) will organise something in a more suitable form and shape to what he would have wanted, at some point later on this year. That will be a chance for you to come and share not just our grief but also many stories about how amazing his life has been and how much he has contributed to what we all are today.
In the last couple of years, Csabi and I have been keen supporters of young athletes/best performers in sports from the Kolozsvári Református Kollégium we both attended, as it seems like now, a century ago. I would like to set up a trust where we can all continue to donate in Csabi’s loving memory to make sure we will carry on his name and his passions and more importantly, that the tiny heart under my heart will know that he/she had the best father ever.
I appreciate all the support messages and the love I have been receiving in these excruciating moments and I find it truly humbling!
Our story for friends and family
People ask me “how do you do it? How can you still find the energy to fight for each other? After a decade of chasing each other on 2 different continents and 5 countries?” I believe we are strong and hopeful together because I have the man with the best heart ever and he has what he calls “home” in me.
He is the kind of person who achieves so much in a seemingly effortless way. He has managed to build a career like few others at the age of 34.
He is adored by all children and to be fair I don’t have too many pictures of him standing still where he isn't either entertaining someone or dancing and singing or climbing a mountain. An energy bomb.
Live, love and laugh, his way of going through life although he has been carrying the indescribable pain of losing his best friend and father at a young age. He fights so much and works so hard to make him proud. To show he has grown up to be a responsible man and has achieved the impossible on his own.
Always gathering friends and family for dinners and drinks, always having guests over and too often being on the phone with people from all over the world in different time zones during late nights and weekends.
Always saying “I don’t have enough time”. He wishes he had a magical power to be present in more places at the same time and to be able to share a great deal of love bursting out of his heart. He has an endless source of energy that lights up every room he enters. The heart and soul of every party.
Dreaming of a family and children. Always knowing that everything will be fine. Comforting me that despite having surgery at a young age I will be able to conceive. Then he tells me one day “ if our love is strong enough today, our baby will be born on my birthday.”
The most amazing thing happens then and I fell pregnant. It is such a miracle. I want it to be a secret for now. He can’t keep it to himself. I try to silence him. He shares the amazing news with everyone all over the world. People I know, people I don’t even know. I wouldn’t be surprised if he stopped others on the streets to tell them too. He is so far away from me and the distance is killing me. We can't meet with the pandemic and all the craziness that surrounds us but we do share the emotions of a first scan on FaceTime and we do cry together. I pack everything and prepare to move to SA to our new home to be together as a family in 2 weeks. We are so excited!
And then one day he does not pick up the phone. I message him “Love, are you asleep?”
And he was asleep. His heart had stopped just when I was asking him the question. He died 8weeks ago on a sunny South African day in Jo-burg in a motorbike accident. The world stopped for a moment. My heart stopped forever.
I carry our baby now, with as much love as my family, our friends, and his mum can give me, and I can only hope that he/she will grow up to be like him, who always knew he did not have enough time. Who tried out everything he could in life….from skydiving, to flying an airplane, waterboarding, bungee jumping and whatnot. Who had so much courage that most of the time it was frightening. Who was so incredibly loved that if all our love was magical, we could bring him back. He lived like there was no tomorrow. And there was no tomorrow.
Don’t take anything for granted. Say I love you and say I am sorry. Say I will spend time with you or I will come and see you. Don't ever refuse a dance invitation. One day everything stops and there is no going back. No room for unspoken words or feelings not shown.
His birthday is on the 4th of November. I am due to give birth in the week of the 28th of Oct - 7th of November. Our love IS strong enough!
'Let me love you forever', as you told me a while ago!