Hello, my name is Ícaro and I'm a 19 year old transgender guy from Brazil,
I've created this to raise money for my top surgery, which is a procedure that would make my life better in innumerous aspects.
I've endured this constant discomfort for quite some time, but lately it has been very unbearable, sending me into panic attacks almost everyday.
Dysphoria made me extremely self conscious and constantly destroys my self-esteem, making me avoid going out and interacting with people as little as possible.
Where I live, this type of surgery is fairly new and my health insurance doesn't cover it, which lead me to search for plastic surgeons. The estimated price is around $2500 to $4000, which for me and my current situation, is an insane amount of money.
Please help me to live comfortably with my body and my transition to a better life by donating.
Before telling a bit of my story, I'd like to warn you that this might be triggering to some people, there are mentions of drug abuse, self-harm and suicide. Proceed if you are aware and okay with it. Remember to always take care of yourself too.
I've had gender dysphoria for years, mostly towards my chest. I use a binder even when I'm at home and constantly feel awkward because of it or without it. Where I live, the weather is always very hot so going out while binding was a torture for me also making my skin condition worse.
When I came out, I didn't have anyone to completely rely on, which made me deeply depressed and the fact that some people around me thought I only wanted attention or it was a phase made me start to hate who I was. I've become extremely self conscious and insecure, having zero to no self-esteem.
Eventually, I shut myself in for two whole years, merely going out at night to study and having interactions only with online friends from other countries. Falling into a very dark state of mind, I told myself I wouldn't live for long, since I would eventually be killing myself, hence I should just do whatever with my body, which lead to alcohol abuse and other drugs.
During these two years, I ate very unhealthy, had no set sleeping schedule, avoided studying, got wasted almost everyday and basically just existed thinking about the way I would end up dying.
But, after a while thinking I would never get to transition, I tried for the last time speaking to a doctor.
Fortunately, she understood my situation, helped me get my hormone therapy and I've been on Testosterone for over an year now.
I've spent years telling myself I could never feel or deserved happiness and that's a thought very hard to get over, but I truly wish to change my life around and get over past addictions, as well as follow my dreams as the person who I truly am.
Thank you for taking the time to read this and if you could, please share with your friends and people you think could help, I truly appreciate it.