[TLDR: Would like help affording betterhelp.com monthly]
[Negatives of supporting me]
The problem is this is the monthly cost of the service.
So, I am Tristan Phillips, I live in South Africa, Gauteng. 23 years old.
I am self-employed / student / job-less, Doing my BSc in Computer Science at UNISA which is fully online, so I rarely leave the house.
[Some History + self-description]
Alright so I am diagnosed with depression, anxiety and adhd.
I have been so for as long as I can remember, partly due to what the psychologist called pre-cognitive childhood trauma and extras.
I only recently (last 3 years) started trying to deal with my depression. This had lead to 2 (willing) in-patient's at a mental health clinic.
At the clinic I was assigned a psychiatrist (Prescribes meds) and a psychologist (The one you talk to).
This helped me immensely I think, however after being with that assigned psychologist for a year and a half.
I realized we were getting nowhere, and changed to a new one, she helped for two sessions, which allowed me to discover,
that one of contributors of my depression is due to "childhood trauma+"
Now, I live in a fairly small town (n Plaas dorpie), where there are no options for psychologist, thus I must travel for each session,
and I only had one session a month. That is partly why I am seeking online therapy.
The other reason I am looking for Online compared to IRL is due to the platform allowing me to "quickly" change psychologists if I feel like no connection
is being made between the two of us. (Plus cutting out travel etc ... is a bonus as well)
The problem I face is that the service costs $80 per week and they charge for a full month each time ($320 ~= ZAR4600)
For reference I get ZAR2000 per month for a whole month to sort out my stuff (~$136) out of which I have roughly R800 (~$41) after making payments,
such as studying, snacks for studying, medicine(if not covered), petrol, canva subscription, etc...
Thus, at the moment I can not afford betterhelps monthly cost.
My medical aid paid for my stay in-patient, and pays monthly for my psychiatrist and my medication (usually till September then the last 3 months I pay from pocket)
However, they have denied me cover for betterhelp due to it being "Online" and "International", so I get no help from them in regards to covering the cost.
Now, Usually I think I am okay, I am relatively capable of dealing with my daily thoughts and ideations.
However, It runs in a rhythm, in the sense of my mood being okay then absolutely bad and then okay again.
And this rhythm seems to be making the bad longer and the good shorter.
I have started getting the desire to act upon my desires to "solve or hide" these problems.
Such as: I do Self-Harm, I am clean for a bit by now, however ... its getting much harder to resist.
I technically don't need therapy, and I can go see someone that the medical aid will cover, however that gets to the level of complication in which,
I am no longer interested, nor care or have the time to follow through with it
So you should not feel bad if you think this is a stupid request for funding, its a fairly valid reason.
I would like to get therapy though.
Even if its only a months worth tbh.
It feels like I need it, because I don't think I trust myself going forward with my desires and self-destruction.
Unfortunately speaking with family or friends, the talk is not the same as with a therapist.
So it seems I might only be able to open up with someone who is in no other way connected to my personal and social lives.
I mean basically all this can be summarized to,
Boy with small mental issues is looking to get therapy he might not technically need when denying his alternative due to effort
And that's a fairly stupid reason, but I am here now to ask internet strangers to pay for something I can not afford.
I dont know what else to say, if you have questions you can send me a mail or something I believe.
I hope I have provided enough information at least that you dont think I am absolutely shitty for using this as a reason lol
Either way if you made it this far thanks,
I hope you have a great day