I want to smile again :)

All my life I felt ashamed about my teeth, it hasn't been easy for me to smile, really express any joy or even laugh out loud without covering my mouth.

As a kid my mother couldn't afford any braces treatment and when I was 11 I fell down on my face breaking two of my front teeth, as a teen it was so extremely sad that my mom sold everything she could to get my front teeth fixed... I have to say those were bigger and whiter than my real ones, but honestly, those were better than having other kids staring at my mouth all the time, and in 2015 I lost another visible tooth because of a caries I couldn't afford treating.

for that reason I've been isolating myself, I don't feel like talking publicly, hanging out with friends and now as grown I've been avoiding meeting someone to whom I may feel atracted because of that. To get a selfie and smile on it is a real torture...

It's difficult for me to admit I don't like my smile, since I don't want to lose any other teeth lately I visited a dentist and even with him I feel embarassed he had to watch my smile and I reapeted to myself several times that he's a professional and has seen worse cases than mine but still I felt tense and shy about letting him do his job, and getting the photographs to check my case was too sad for me I can't even watch those photographs.

My odontologist sent me to an orthodontist to see me to get the braces done, and the second wants me to visit a maxillofacial surgeon, they said it was convenient to really get a change on my smile, but i don't feel like I want to do a surgery I feel insecure, what if my face changes? I don't want to take that risk and feel worse about something that won't get undone, plus it is very very expensive, I'm lliving about 5USD per day, so I told the orthodontist I just want to get the braces only, the answer is that I might not get as well as it would with surgery but I said it was fine for me.

I try to be simple on the process, I just want to feel able to date someone who doesn't feel disgusted at me.