i want to sing the song of my heart

Hi i suffer from type 1 bipolar disorder and was hospitalized 7times in total, my grandma is demented and bedridden, my grandpa means well but constantly nags and tells me i am useless of course i dont believe in him and believe that i am created by God for greater things and have a destiny to fulfill, i am born in thailand and raised in singapore. My Parents divorced when i was 3 and was raised by my grandparents i remember how estranged, abandoned and hopeless i was, only 3 years old not knowing a word of english and thai then i studied hard and did well i got 2nd place in normal academic stream in my school. Up till now i work very hard as a freelance cleaner and still looking for a more stable income.Both parents dont live with me we barely see each other except during special ocassion like celebrating chinese new year in singapore and especially songkran. Dont feel sorry for me i have alot to be thankful for and God has truly blessed me. But if i could just use a bit of push and extra bonus donations my life would be a whole lot brighter and more exciting and i would be on my way to living my dreams. mum is remarried and dad is in thailand with his own family well they both dont earn alot and barely give me money so i just have to work hard and be independent since young, me and my 2 aunt takes care of my grandma. Only my mum really cares dad is just busy with his business. My aunt would give me daily allowances and mum occasionlly would send money.i want to make my grandma proud, my mum proud, i want to look at my grandpa and grandma before they pass on and tell him" hey look at me now i made it i didnt let you down". I want to change, i dont want to be average and i dont want to stay the same. I trust that by the grace of God as i am writing this my mental condition and wellbeing has greatly improved ever since i started attending church and feeding on the word of God. I had many setbacks especially due to my relapses which caused me to dropped out of school many times. I want to pursue higher education and get a diploma in tesol so i can travel the world and teach english i also want to take singing classes and electric guitar classes so i can perform on stage, i wish i own a good camera and want to take lessons in photography so i can inspire people through my photos. I am naturally good at roller blading and want to be an instructor and even participate in tournaments but cant afford a pair of skates so i gave up skating. I want to be better i want to begin my life journey and share my testimony, i want to have a story to tell the world to inspire people one day. I want to live my dreams. I want to give back to others and the world. My grandma can go anytime and time waits for no man. Help me make them proud. I appreciate your kindness and generosity and God bless